If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Dear Artist,
Welcome to LF, and I’m so sorry you had such a horrible experience with such an abusive person.
You very well may have PTSD or other problems from the abuse, but you CAN HEAL! Don’t give up on yourself.
There are many many resources here to read and learn and support from others who have survived and now thrive.
Again, welcome, and glad you found your way here. God bless.!
ScarredArtist:
What a story. That is some terrible abuse you encountered with her. It’s almost unbelievable that there are people out there like her, but there are.
She had a baby with your ex friend????? When you said she is now a mother…wow. Didn’t take her long since it’s only been about a year.
I have that same feeling that I will never be good enough for anyone even though I am a very attractive woman with so much to offer. It seems that they all go on with their lives and we are the ones “stuck.” I am so ready to be unstuck, but it has been very hard to get past it.
You WILL heal from this, but it’s going to take a long time. You have learned a lot and will not make the same mistakes. Please keep blogging here. We are here to help you.
Artist,
You write: If she could betray me ” and if my so-called friend could do the same ” who’s to say that the next person in my life that I have feelings for won’t do the same?
Please know, that as time goes by witout having further contact with her/them, combined with your newly acquired knowledge, you will in fact, once again, be able to trust your judgement, and from this point, forward, your knowledge will assist in the prevention of possible wrong choices. You become very clear. Especially if you continue to read the articles here, as well as the poster’s own experiences with sociopathy/sociopaths. It seems impossible, in the beginning, however, with time, and no further contact, you will gain back your SELF. You will eventually, no longer feel that of an empty shell, and you WILL become you, once again. Never exactly the same, as in past, but rather a stronger, more powerful YOU, with a slightly different take on things/thinking pattern of sorts. Even though you are of great wisdom, you will gain an abundance, more. It is interesting.
Much Peace and Love to you, through your journey!
Eden
Hi Louise and Ox Drover! I hope you had a great day! : )
Love,
E
Eden:
I did have a good day…thanks!!!
I hope you did as well!
I did, as well, Louise! Thank you! Now off to do some reading! Have sweet dreams!
Eden
Eden:
I gotta get to sleep…late here.
Enjoy your reading!
Thank you, Louise! What time is it there? I won’t ask where you are. : ) Goodnight…
Eden:
It is 1:23AM right now! UGGHH! 🙂
Hi ((Eden)),
How was your day?
Scarred Artist,
there is no doubt that you encountered a very evil sociopath.
You were blessed by poverty. Yes, she discarded you fairly quickly because you had no more money. Thank God for that because it saved you from a much worse case of trauma and PTSD and who knows what else she would have cooked up: prison, suicide, murder, poison. They have no limits to the evil that crosses their imagination and they take glee in carrying out their fiendish plans.
My own hell lasted 25 years. When I told him I was completely out of money and credit, he set the wheels in motion to kill me. I wish I had run out of resources sooner, but God has his plans and as it worked out, I was able to figure out what he was and who else he had connived to work with him in his schemes.
Artist, I know you are deeply and psychically wounded, but you’re alive and you have knowledge of what a spath is. Make that the basis for the foundation of a new and much better life. When you do have wealth one day, the spaths won’t be able to take it, if you educate yourself, by reading books about narcissism and blogging here and on http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/. You will soon learn more about yourself and how you became vulnerable and what your strengths are.
Welcome to the worst club with the best people.