If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
@Ox – I almost feel guilty calling my symptoms PTSD, as I have a close friend that is an Iraq war vet that suffers from it quite badly. My problems seem insignificant. I also want to stay off anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs due to their addictive qualities … as well as the fact that I’m uninsured at the moment. Thank you for your blessings, it’s amazing to know people actually care.
@louise – She became pregnant within a month of having me thrown out. This was her goal, as she’s been trying to have a baby since the age of 14. Apparently, she told my former friend that she was a) on a birth control shot (which she was not) and b)allergic to latex (which she is not). Her deception knows no bounds. I’m looking forward to becoming part of what appears to be a broad and supportive community here, and I hope that I can help someone in some way. I think that will help me to heal.
@Eden – My sense of trust and faith in my fellow man has been damaged, and I’d like to think that it will someday be repaired. My hope is that trust won’t be a challenge for me … but there are days when I have more hope than others. Today has been a rough day, which is why I decided to finally seek out some sort of support.
Thank you to all of you who responded with such overwhelming kindness. After not having a voice for a long time, it moves me to tears to know that I’ve been heard.
Louise, thanks for letting me know what time zone you are in. Yes… It is late there! Off to bed for you (and me too). zzzzz
Goodnight,
E
Sky,
I read your post, above. I have never heard of the website you mentioned, so I attempted to have a look-see, but found nothing. Is the address you posted, correct? I would be interested in taking a look at that website.
Thank you!
: )
whoops!
thanks for catching that Eden, it’s
http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/
I’ll correct the above link.
@skylar That sounds awful, and I’m extremely glad that you are not part of that situation anymore.
Evil… is a strong word. Though apt, I think. I was fortunate to have some contact with a few of the people she’s burned through before, and some of their experiences with her were much worse than my own. My time with her was short, though my emotional investment was quite large.
I had never felt so powerfully for anyone in my entire life. My love for her made me want to be a better person. I made positive changes in my life that I was unable to make for my own sake … just for her. I have never thought very much of myself, and that is why I was such easy prey. Here came a silver tongued angel that made me feel special… after more than a quarter century of feeling like I was anything but.
After I got settled in a stable home, I was able to continue on that path of bettering myself. I went back to college and am close to a degree … although I feel like I’m just going through the motions for the sake of it, sometimes. What little self worth I had has gone. It’s hard to reclaim. I do feel like a large weight is gone from my shoulders… though … and for the first time in a long time I can easily admit to myself that I didn’t do anything wrong. It took me a year to get here. I second guessed myself into a depressed oblivion … and I let my anger impede my normal life.
I am slowly letting go of that anger. I am trying to work on forgiving my friend, even if he never knows that I’ve forgiven him. If that makes any sense.
This article rocks! I reference it all the time – sending it people to raise awareness that they exist. One of my friends sent it to me after I dumped my ex-spath. Wish I had seen it before! I sent it to his current GF (had hoped to save her from it, but she’s ignored the signs – even though she asked me if he has a paycheck and he’s living with her) 🙂
Educated;
I like to repost Lisa Scott’s “12 Characteristics of Psychopaths/ Sociopaths” every now and then.
http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2010/01/27/12-characteristics-psychopaths-sociopaths
It is a slightly different approach and was very helpful me, as it mentions specific personal types of which my x-spath was a combination of three.
Thanks, BBE. I’m in a good place. But will certainly check out the article – always great to learn more 🙂
Raise your hand if you have a friend that’s dating a creep. This happens so much it’s almost a cliche. Don’t know why so many people stay in denial until the bitter end.
How To Recognize A Sociopath – Welcome. Are you new here? If so would you like to share your story? Maybe we can help.