If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
superkid10
Skylar
That is one hell of a link. I’m wondering how many people on this site were victims in that the spath tried to DESTROY or kill them.
?
Recovering
Super there was once one blogger that said her spath tried to poison her. I dont put anything past tgem, i belueve that if they knew they could get away with it all spaths would pursue murder. Especially when thwarted or if they feel you to be a threat to blowing thejr cover. I cannot believe my spath continues to contact me. I received a text friday and he hasnt stopped yet, waiting for a response i guess. I teally thought after i told him i knew what he was and exposed whst a liar i knew him to be he would never have anything else to do with me. Its like they forget and come back when they feel you may have gotten over it or i know for sure once youve moved on only to destroy you. I think its kind of like mr big’s character on sex and tge city. They keep you on edge and off balance. Once youve got a nrw beau and youre no longer putting tgem center stage they come back with full force on tgeur best behavoir. Ugh!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
farwronged – that would be sky.
Ox Drover
Farwronged, you got it darlin’—your post is right on!
behind_blue_eyes
Something to add to the Warning Signs list:
What You Say About Others Says a Lot About You, Research Shows
How positively you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are, according to new research by a Wake Forest University psychology professor.
The researchers found a person’s tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person’s own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.
In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior.
A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively.
The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100802165441.htm
Ox Drover
BBE, in that case, every blogger here is a psychopath! LOL If this is not a bunch of people who see the NEGATIVITY in others….and we no longer “positively” judge others ….we may be happy, kind-hearted, courteous, and emotionally stable but we are much more REALISTIC about people than the “average Joe Plumber”
MoonDancer
off topic but my xspath keeps returning in my dreams, more so as of late…the last dream he shows up at my door wanting to reunite because I am the love of his life. I look out and in his vehicle is a guy, and I ask who it is and he goes out and gives this guy a looong passionate kiss, comes back and says oh he is just a friend..I say you never kissed me like that…Just little episodes similar to that, like well I called your mom and told her I was looking for you…well duh I have not seen my mom in ten years and he knows I dont speak to her, but always in the dream I am hopeful, but the lies are so obvious I wake up in frustration, guess you could call these nitemares instead of dreams….and then I find myself wondering if he is thinking of me and missing me…but always in the dreams he is obviously covering up deceit ..and not very well…
And then there is the mom nitemares I have been having, in the dream she is stranded and at deaths door, laying in a car or empty building and cant tell me exactley where but I go frantic trying to find her…until I wake up in a sweat – I guess these two evil souls are gonna haunt me forever….
skylar
Superkid,
I think they all want to destroy us, but not all of them have the audacity to take it that far. They all need to destroy us because the want to BE us and there can be only one, you know. They want to usurp who we are and wear our skin. They don’t understand that they have to become their own self, instead of just trying to steal someone else’s self. it’s disgusting.
Farwronged, my exspath didn’t try to poison me, he actually poisoned me for over 20 years with small amounts of strychnine among other things. Now I get why he bought a stethascope and would listen to my heart and say, “my honey has a strong ticker, she’ll live a long time.” Strychnine stops the heart and he was worried that he would kill me before my time. His reason to poison me was to see me sick all the time, but not dead – at least not yet. sicko.
BBE and Oxy,
I agree with the article. spaths are always negative in judging others. In the end, though, after we are slimed, we become just like them: negatively judging and paranoid. There is no way around it and it was their intent. They envied our good nature and positive attitudes so they intended to slime us with their sickness.
Hey, I think I just realized something: They want to be us and they want us to be them. They want to change places with us. hmm…
Spath could never get me to be as disgusting as he is. In the end he said, “I’m tired of your God-like ways” and “she think’s she’s a saint”. Since he couldn’t turn me into him, I guess that’s when he knew he had to kill me. Oh well, better to be dead than to be spath.
🙂
😛
😀
behind_blue_eyes
I think what the article means “in general” how people are viewed. For example, my N ex-boss always had negative comments about others and praised few. My x-spath had a lot of negativism about him as well.
There is nothing wrong with an honest assessment that is negative, as is the case here when we describe our experiences with sociopaths.
Ox Drover
Dear Henry,
I’m sorry you are having these dreams, but I think that dreams like this kind of almost “real” night mares are ways in which we are PROCESSING our frustration with the real people….sort of going over and over the TRUTH of the matter. Your egg donor is like mine, and you going NC with her even though you had ABUNDANT REASONS was still “traumatic” emotionally for “little Henry” like it was for “little Oxy” because we wanted as children (and even as adults) to please these important FIGURES in our life. Of course your Mommy Dearest and my Egg donor dearest weren’t the supportive loving parents that we deserved, but as little kiddies, we didn’t realize this and we “bonded” to them…TRAUMA BONDED really.
I think in a way these dreams may be good for you, as disturbing as they may be, but they may be the “final hooray” sort of as your subconscious processes the letting go of these TRAUMA BONDS to both your X and to your female DNA donor.
((((Hugs))))