If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
superkid10
Skylar
How did you finally figure out that your spath was poisoning you? Did he get arrested? What a story.
Superkid
skylar
Superkid,
my spath never gets arrested. Nobody but me even suspects how evil he is. Not even his own evil minions know the extend of his disgusting existence. The only way you can know is to understand sociopaths. Because everyone, including me, could see that he was “eccentric” and different but we all just thought, “oh, he’s just an amazing person and not like the rest of us.” It’s only when you know the signs of sociopathy, that you can put the entire puzzle together and know that he didn’t just *luck out* when he got a helicopter without paying for it. And he was going to *luck out* and get my house when I died. And all the other *lucky or unlucky* things that happen to him, which makes his life seem amazing, are now clear to me, they were by his own design. He never stops plotting. Spaths never stop plotting, it’s ALL THEY DO.
As far as the poisoning, it was more plotting. I was sick for over 20 years. The day after I left him, he called and said, “come home, I cleaned the house for you.” So the next day, I waited until I knew he wouldn’t be there and I went to check on the house. It was a disaster, not cleaned at all except for the refrigerator: completely empty. The food was all gone and it wasn’t in the trash can. I kept the refrigerator well stocked because I’m gluten-free and home cook most of my meals from scratch. All of my food was gone. I couldn’t figure it out at first, but as the week progressed, I noticed that the pain in my muscles was getting less and less and I was taking nothing for the fibromyalgia. Usually I take magnesium, carnitine and CoQ10. By the end of the week I figured it out, but I didn’t know what he was poisoning me with. So I asked him the next time I saw him. He denied it at first, then he told me, that he liked to use small amounts of botox and strychnine and other little things. I’m no longer sick all the time and winter-time I don’t catch the “flu” like I used to EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
Back_from_the_edge
((((skylar)))) I am so sorry this happened to you.
There are animals among us that make me ashamed to be called a “human” and your x sp is one of those.
“IT” was arrested once, so far; for inhumanely beating his now x-wife. Did one night in jail and the next day left all of that behind him and spun off to an entirely new and different life all together.
A life that may or may not have been planned for a very long time. At least by all involved and their ‘suspicions’. Hard to ever really get a ‘good bead’ on a spath. 🙂 I put NOTHING past them. You can see them now and know when they are coming. It is kind of like a horror ride at an entertainment park. You know the one, the ups and downs in the dark; screaming all around; ugly faces popping up out of the dark to make you scream. Yah, just like that. I lived on that ride for almost five years. And there were LOTS of twists and turns.
I am so fortunate that “IT” only attached itself to my life like the leeching blood sucker it is. I can’t imagine being married to it or tied to it in any way whatsoever. Just being around it and seeing it and experiencing it is more toxic than radioactivity!
While that might sound ‘humorous’, it’s true. It’s toxicity can overtake you in a moment and hold your soul captive because “IT” is so very skilled at manipulation and how to make people do what they want. If they don’t; then the violent tendencies start to present themselves.
I am happy that years ago, I made myself a ‘spot’ in this life that is only all mine. Away from all of the indignities of life; all of the tortures and traumas. My only little ‘life’ unconnected to anyone or anything. I built ‘life’ about me to keep out all the drama, the stress and the chaos and up until 9 years ago, when I became acquainted with “IT” was the last time I saw that peaceful little spot because “I” allowed “IT” to shatter it with “IT’s” vileness.
We want validation and we want justice.
It’s that simple. And it’s more than deserved.
My heart is with you skylar.
We come from the same ‘mind zone’, almost…
I can relate to you so much.
Please take good care of yourself and know you are awesome.
Be happy in life and take what’s yours. 😉
Duh-Duh-Duh-Dupedster
Louise
BBE:
You are going to London??
behind_blue_eyes
Louise;
I have no plans of going before next year. I don’t want to avoid the place like I have been for the last two years, but at the same since there are many other places I would like to visit, I don’t want to go there until my life is 100% in order.
behind_blue_eyes
Louise;
I know this is going to sound silly but even before the x-spath, for an odd reason I was avoiding London. I lived in Philadelphia and Montreal and there are things about these two cities I enjoy over New York. However, both are too small and tbh, I loved back to New York to actually be closer to family and my friends and life here.
London has many of the things I like about Montreal (different culture) and Philadelphia (historical charm) plus some of the size and bustle of New York. I am afraid to learn it is the ideal city for me.
superkid10
Skylar
Holy cow. He did it, and he TOLD you.
You’re a rock star in my mind. You survived.
Superkid
Louise
BBE:
Well, good luck to you when you travel to London whenever that may be. Take care.
behind_blue_eyes
Louise;
Thanks. I have to admit I am cautious around any British guys as you know they are very hard for Americans to read. I am certain that if my x-spath was American, nothing would have happened as a good deal of the “charm” would not have been there…
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