If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
OMG EB!
Are those TELLS?!!
He used to mow his lawn with SCISSORS!?
He’s talking about his pot crops!
Do you know what he is talking about with the garden by the front door? and the tulips and roses?
With our weather…..no way he coulda grown pot outside here……(Orchids either!!! LOL)
It’s all a tell……
Passed it along to the detective.
It has several messages in it.
The dumb girl….HOY!
But…..how he’s always looking for another place to stay.
How he jumps right into throwing her a bone (cooking) to reel them in…..and invite himself.
Then the off the wall comment (he obvioulsy looked at her profile to see she lived in a farming part of that state!)….and made the gardening comment……knowing she’d love it to have some help and would reel her in further.
THEN……the wording on the ‘I’m coming that way in FEB’….
THAT WAY…..not coming for a vacation, or coming for a visit, or visiting my brother/wife etc…..the wording was a tell.
Remember he moves around every 2.5 months. …..across the country state/state…..Love the wording…..’coming your way’. TELL!
Then…..the fact he mentioned that XX knows he’s an ass.
But XX jumps in to tell him No….but you were cute and sexy. That’s his way of ‘later’ on telling Dumb girl that I told you I was an ass…..
So many mixed messages…..
But what interested me was how the dumb girl responded tripping up all over herself. How a guy (the student body president/ popular guy) from grade school can only be ‘safe’….and not a jerk.
And how WRONG she is!!!
I know there are good guys out there…..but my thoughts these days are…..if you’ve made it to 50 and not snatched up by now……are you really that perfect like this woman is already making him out to be? If they are perfect, women tend to not let go of em……
And her ‘flirting’ with him WANTING to see ‘jerk’.
REALLY?
The psychology behind this is so interesting to me!
I’m sure he invested his drug money all these years in property on the coast and in HI. I’m sure he ‘groomed’ the plants with scissors……but not at my house! 🙂
I still think it’s all tells!
Thanks EB for that.
I completely ‘get it’…now…truly…
I have been having a difficult time, this afternoon, wrapping my mind around this:
how many times do you say get away from me and don’t come back and mean it before they stop it?
how many times do they keep coming back before they just stop?
And, WHY do they continue to do it?
Is it a ‘taunt’ or is it a ‘test’?
That’s what I don’t get.
Are they hoping that you are still under their spell and that you will open your arms wide to them and invite the devil in once more so the next time they can very accurately destroy you?
You have told them in plain black and white to knock it off and cease all further communication and they still pop in whenever they want. I just am not going to keep tolerating this. He still taunts and laughs in my face even though I have not bothered him nor said a peep in almost 8 months. Amazing; isn’t it?
I was told by a criminologist that if I just keep ignoring and not giving “IT” any attention, “IT” WILL eventually become absorbed by it’s current ‘victim’ thus just fading away. But I don’t see that happening here, least not yet, and although long periods of time will go by without intrusion, it’s never for permanent and that is what I wish. For it to be permanent.
“IT” seems to think I have the key to unlock the door to salvation for him and his life. He demands and expects too much from me and I will go to my grave before I give it to him. Although I have only been a lover and acquaintance of his for 10 years, now, he has never lived with me because I don’t live that way. Funny how he even blames me for his putrid life before he knew me and every day since, for all the ugliness he projects. It’s never “ITS” fault but always someone elses. Not one time have I ever heard “IT” willingly assume contriteness. Not one time.
After all of the things he has done to me and my life, he will never get any validations from me, much less another word, for the rest of his life. That is MY ‘validation’. “I” have a life. “IT” needs to get one.
Instead of trying to steal other peoples.
Just curious…
Does anyone have a clue, after 10 years of this, stalking and barging into my life, how long this continues? Does it ever stop? Some people I have asked says it never does.
Thanks ahead of time for any and all responses.
Have a wonderful day…
Dupey
EB!
Well bless his pee pickn lil hart. Thanks for sharing. It a GREAT example of what my EX!! husband would do.
Your spath is doing what I callTROLLING. He’s throwing a line to see what bottom dweller with snag it. He doesn’t ASK her out, but he’s letting her know He’s AVAILABLE. That way she DESERVES whatever happens b/c there’s no promise. As my EX!husband says, “if i don’t want her, then it’s not my fault what she twists it into”.
Thanks for the SUNDAY FUNNIES!! lol!!!
Dupey
It continues until you take back your power and put an end to it by cutting off his access so you aren’t even aware if he tries.
EB, All I can say is LOL…..
KatyDid: I so hate being blindsided…
I have a small security team around me and they let me know a lot. I have taken back my life and laid down the rules so many times but he always tries coming through, trying to love bomb.
I spent TWO ENTIRE DAYS one time blocking phone numbers and people trying to text me and call me on “ITS” behalf. I can’t block the entire world out. I already feel like I am somewhat living in a cave. I think the only way to really end all this, once and for all, is for me to move away and just not leave any forwarding address or contact info.
Maybe THEN it will stop but I am not going to hold my breath.
IT is convinced we are soul mates that have survived time..blah blah blah…I just want the insanity away from me now.
Might have to resort to a PO. We’ll see –
it’s been quiet almost two weeks now. I won’t put up with too much of it, I can tell you that and I have a ‘friend’ who will be more than happy to deliver him a frickin COURT ORDER.
Thanks KatyDid – hope you are well and doing alright.
((hugs))
Dupey
Duped;
They don’t speak the same language as us.
No sense ‘setting the rules’…..it doesn’t matter, it only provides them more insight into your mindset and which door they need to aproach next.
the only rules which need to be set are in YOUR mind. NC, give them nothing but nothing.
I don’t believe they ‘ever’ go away……completely. And the more we give them, the more they stick around.
The last contact we heard from spath was July……he knows Jr’s don’t want anything to do with him. I think he stays away for 2 reasons….currently. Rejection on his ego….and he’s got no one willing to listen to his ‘victimization’ at this point…..and he also knows we’ll not fail to call the cops on him. And since he’s still up to his drug dealing ventures…….he doesn’t want the cops breathing down his neck especially in my town.
The cops are very interested in him. Jr’s speak to them often. I think there is something other than what we are aware of going on……I believe it has something to do with his liking of young girls.
His FB exchanges with young girls is also very CREEPY!
Feb will be interesting……he’s going on another pot run…..we’ll see what comes out of it….hopefully it WON’T be him! 🙂
My X!Husband would say one thing to me and a totally different msg to others so I decided that those ‘others’ could have a front row seat to my misery.
Like magic his messages dried up…. funny. that.
Duped, I wonder if you could file a harassment charge? Anybody know anything about this? Sounds like harassment to me.