If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Yes, EB. I would have fallen for it if some high school jock popular guy would have thought me the cat’s meow. Yes, when I was 17! But no, giggling over him now is frankly… Creepy. Like she never grew up. Didn’t we all learn that the dream boat in high school always went to seed and it was the brainy guy who was more likely to succeed?
Hi Libra,
Oof that is one horrific tale of a nasty, cowardly bastard!
I’m a little late in joining the conversation also but I felt compelled to reply.
Totally agree with Milo….you don’t need a label for him. You need a muzzle! In my experience you can never cure him of his viciousness. It’s innate in this kind of creature. Bet he pulled legs off spiders when he was a boy and bullied his mum when he got to be a teenager.
Ye I’ve met him. Someone just like him. Couldn’t give a rats ar**e about anyone…except himself and will stop at nothing( well, he always stayed within the law ) to get what he wants. Supply ie money, status, money, power, money, sex, money, free housekeeper,more money……. On and on. It would still be going on but I finally got out after four years, debts which I’m paying off gradually and a life that was very nearly ruined for this love I had for the man I thought he was/could be if only……
I am nearly 3months NC and I kept my mobile number after we split. He tried and tried to contact me but with the help of the lovely, kind KNOWLEDGABLE people here I was able to see that I had to break the cycle of abuse. That’s what it was. And no it’s not great to admit that I let him do that but you know what when you read some of the posts here you realise you are so not alone.LF is gold plated. You will see you are not alone in being a victim of, at best a con man…..at worst a psychopathic predator.
Libra, girl get away. Make the decision. I promise you freedom tastes so much sweeter. Keep reading and keep learning and get away from that monster
Sending you hugs
SW
And Sky,
“The only way he might respect you, is if you started dating a gigantic sumo wrestler that could knock his block off”
THAT was a corker friend. Hahahahaha!!!!!
Dupey,
I am so sorry that this drain dweller is hassling you. What a lunatic!
I don’t have any wise words friend……there are people here with a lot more insight than me. 3 months nearly since I had contact ….last time he tried to intrude. … 22 December via email. Every time I think this will be the last time. But 8 months! Genie macnamara Dupers you must ave been goooood supply.
Anyway, just wanted to acknowledge your post and say hi and am thinkin of you
Ps …..how bout a house swap? He’d never find you here….hahaha x
lol@strongawoman=”drain dweller”…yah, good supply; hm?
He lost two of us in one swoop…with his lies and deceptions.
It has been longer, the time in-between, before.
Thank you for thinking of me, strongawoman, I think of you too. I always sends thoughts and prayers your way.
16Dec text, last com over here: last time he directly contacted me…the rest has been done via ‘minions’. As always seems to be the case. It’s alright. There is no two way communication going on and there never will be again. Enough is enough.
Yes, I understand: every time you think it will be the last time, it just doesn’t seem to work out that way…
(((Hugs strongawoman)))
Remember your value and your worth.
Love ~ Dupey
RIGHT ON RECOVERING!
I second everything you said in your post above!!!
Dupey
Hi LF friends ~
I didn’t know where to put this gem, I guess 10 signs this person is a spath would be a better title, but this will do.
Because I still must maintain contact with the P/daughter (visitation crap), I will sometimes check her various spots on the internet. She has a facebook page for her cleaning business. It isn’t really a business, she just cleans houses once in a blue moon when she finds some sucker that doesn’t mind a cleaning lady with sticky fingers.
Anyways, on the facebook fake business page she had “cleaning tips from the pro”. Here it was “always keep get well cards on your mantel, or somewhere in plain sight so that when people stop over they think you were too sick to clean” – – – – – – Oh the inner thoughts of a spath, here I thought I was going to get the usual 101 uses for vinegar.
Poor MiLo…I wouldn’t even pay it any attention.
I have found that the only thing ‘tinkering’ will get you is high blood pressure and aggravated so I gave up ‘tinkering’ a long time ago.
Recently had a colonoscopy, though, and I liken the experience to purging the last ten years from my life. hehe Started the New Year out right. My life has been purged.
Debacle; isn’t that a great word?
That’s what the past ten years of my life have been…
A DEBACLE. I DONT DO DEBACLES.
Have a great night, MiLo…
Dupey
Confession: I broke no contact today. I had this rush of anxiety come over me that he had not called me like he said he would yesterday evening after I caught him in a lie playing video poker. I could’ve handled the gambling, but it was that he chose to lie to me and preferred to tell me that “I was crazy” and “He couldn’t deal with my nonsense any longer”. Remember, the phone has gps tracking and it showed me his exact location.
Today, when I called I was hurt and agitated that he is so callous regarding my feelings and didn’t address the lie in over 24 hours. So, he says “I’m not going to listen to you yell at me” and hangs up. I of course call back. This goes on a few times until I drive up to his house. I say since you refuse to talk to me on the phone, come outside. I get a text while I am in the driveway. “No, I’m not going outside.” I call again, I raise my voice my feelings have been put on the back burner and he still refuses to talk to me. He finaly comes out to the car window. I say “Get in the car so we can discuss this”. He says “Hell no, B****” “F*** you! Goes back inside and sends me a text you better leave ‘cops are coming’. Yep, that’s right..not the first time he’s threatened the cops. I end up looking like the one out of control while he calls me every name in the book, gaslights me, and leaves me unheard. So, I went there for nothing. Except more pain. I called a few times as I drove away..saying “I can’t believe you make things so difficult” I was only asking you to talk to me about why you lied and to tell the truth. I feel myself out of control and crying on the phone when he proceeds to say to me “I can’t see you right now..I hate you and I want to strangle you”. Actually, he has said on several occasions during arguments that he does want to hurt me. And, he says he feels that way because “I don’t know when to stop talking and would drive any man crazy”. After all that nonsense, I call him back and calmly say “You win”. I’m not going to chase you around town to talk, I’m not going to call you to get hung up on. You lied to me that’s what this is about and you need to be accountable.
His last text to me “Have you calmed down yet”…ME?? Calm down??
I swear the insanity, mental anguish is consuming me.
Thank you for all that have listened. You guys truly do inspire me. And, StrongaWoman…we seem to have dated the same guy. I’d hate to think there are 2..
Milo,
LOL regarding your daughter’s “cleaning tips from the pro”. Would be more aptly titled “tips on how to spin lies from the pro” Thank goodness we have humor to rely on.
~New