If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Dupey, that is funny because I received an email from mine this afternoon stating he mailed a check (something he owes me in order to comply with the divorce decree) and went on with “I hope you are well”, etc, etc. He’s fishing for information – probably because I’m at the stage of wrapping up my mother’s estate.
I agree, it confirms the decision and gives us the power to keep moving forward on our own. These boots are made for walkin’.
Be well, Dupey
~New
New: this must be ‘path’ day….
Yes, it does confirm the decisions more and more all the time and I feel so very empowered right now by not responding.
“…and that’s just what they’ll do….”
YOU be very well, New xxoo
Dupey
Dupey! All that talk yesterday about crossing the bridge…… We woke the troll!!
He wants to add you as a friend??
My ex wants to be friends……..this is what he wrote on Saturday….Am not askin u to trust me or love me or sex baby just to b with you talk to u spend a little time withu.uhave nothing to loss baby plz .am a lot happer now in my self and I wouldnever do u wrong ever again.as u don’t love me any more then u can’t
get hurt any more let’s do things together cum to pics with me … no I hurt u and I no I’ve been a right nob with u for a really long time am not askin u for a relationship or cum back to me am askin for a little time now and again ur friendship some one I can talk to some one I
trust.don’t hav to tell any one plz B xx
OMG: you seriously aren’t responding to him, are you?
I haven’t. I don’t intend to.
YOU BE CAREFUL STRONGAWOMAN!!!!!
Worriedly,
Dupey
I regrettably broke my 3months of NC to reply. He has been trying to communicate with me via a mutual friend and when he didnt get any joy that way he tried texting and ringing my youngest daughter. She didn’t respond to him. Needless to say once I replied he sent me at least ten emails, all of along the same lines as the above.
I reacted to him didn’t I. I want it to stop…..but it only encouraged him.
He tried again on Sunday but I ignored.
NewBeginning,
Yep, and I can trace my family tree on both sides back to men born in the early 1800s who there is information on showing they were probably psychopaths and/or nasty drunks…some were murdered actually, and some were preachers with more than one wife at a time and they were not mormons! LOL
Both men and women and they had brothers and sisters that were as bad or worse than them, and some of them that were not Ps themselves had P fathers or mothers, or sibs so it is all over the place in my family. My sperm donor’s mom was a P and he is, but the other 2 kids turned out okay, and 1 was mentally ill, I suspect bi-polar, but she had become a physician before she “went off her rocker” and the stories about her make me think bi-polar. My grandfather on that side had a sister that I think was bi-polar/borderline or both…from the family stories, and my P grandmother’s father was a methodist preacher with more than one wife at a time. Rolling stone, married at least 4 times as well.
On my egg donor’s side, her brother was a full fledged monster! Her mom’s father was a drunken abuser, his father on back were drunken abusers and had sibs that were involved in murder suicides for 3 generations.
So if Ps lit up like Christmas lights, my family tree would SHINE to the point it could be seen from outer space! LOL
The only way it is going to stop is if YOU stop participating.
That is why I ignore mine. All of the pretty words: they are only lures – they have a ‘bigger plan’ for us…
Yes, ANY attention, be it good or bad, is what they are after.
They are after the attention and the drama. They like knowing they are interjecting misery into our lives. That’s why.
Yes, you did react to him.
Stealth up strongawoman!!!!!!
**HUGS**
Im always looking over my shoulder. And, I dread him turning up here. I think the fact he tried to contact my daughter really shook me up. She said what if he turns up mum? I suppose I thought it was better to communicate with him than let her feel intimidated.
I am disappointed Dupey. I’ve done so well and back to building up the defences again.
Strongwoman,
The thing they get when you don’t reply for weeks and they tried 30 times and on the 31st you give in and reply, wanting it to stop, all you are doing is teaching them that it takes 31 times for you to reply, so they RAMP UP the contacts, and then if you don’t reply flor 60 times and then give in they keep on….so DO NOT REPLY NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES….and he will RAMP IT UP now that you have FED HIM.
Intermittent rewarding is teaching behavior that will continue.
That’s why a slot machine works to keep people plugging in quarters or dollars because they keep on thinking “NEXT TIME FOR SURE” even though they may only get rewarded once in 100 times. IT IS ALWAYS NEXT TIME.
That is the way we train animals is with intermittent rewards, because it works.
NO REWARDS, because any contact, even a go fark yourself is a REWARD TO HIm because it is being NOTICED and he wants to be noticed at all costs. Just get back on the NO CONTACT wagon. (((hugs))) If you do it again, I’ll have to “boink” you with my cyber cast iron skillet! LOL
It’s alright strongawoman: we all fall down once in a while. Don’t let that stifle your continuing to try to keep him away…I know it isn’t easy and you have done wonderfully…
The final and ultimate decisions are all your’s.
But you tell me you are afraid of him and that is why you keep in touch. I used to do the same thing with mine, thinking, wrongly, that as long as I kept in touch with him, I would know where the trouble was coming from and when but it wasn’t like that at all.
It is much better being away from it all; trust me.
You don’t want Ox’s iron skillet on your head!!!! LOL