If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
strongawoman
Yes friend. Stealth is the operative word ….. He actually said that he was so happy I had emailed even though it was hurtful, it was sweet to him.
Oh what a can of worms I opened. Stupid!!
Lesson learned. Thanks Dupers. Feel like an idiot all over again. He got his fix. I got?
Sigh
Back_from_the_edge
Point.
Love ya strongawoman…
YOU ARE NO IDIOT…
You got it…keep trying…next time don’t give in…
😉
Ox Drover
Strongwoman, don’t beat yourself up over it, we have all fallen and given out contact! I’ve done it myself, and let my egg donor lure me into a contact by proxy (for informational purposes) about a year ago. I was sooooooo mad at myself when I realized what she had done that that the drawing of my husband (made by an inmate at my son’s prison, and sent to my egg donor) I couldn’t look at it, so I gave it to his grandson who will be able to look at the drawing of his grandfather and will enjoy it and pass it on to his son some day….but when I looked at it All I saw was my egg donor putting one over on me.
So yea, we all fall for it. I have to keep in contact with her too because we are co-trustees on our family farm so once in a while for business I have to contact her or even talk to her. I try to keep it to e mails as much as possible.
So just get back on the NO CONTACT HORSE and ride that baby and DO NOT GET OFF….(((hugs)))
strongawoman
Ox,
Lord knows as soon as I replied to him I thought what have you done. Thanks for the analogy. Hadn’t thought of it like that but I see your point re ramping it up. Tut….stupid woman never mind strongawoman!
Dupers! What would I do without you.? Yes you were so right. I wrongly thought that if I contacted him I could know which direction trouble was coming from.
Ox Drover
You ARE a STRONG WOMAN….you are out of the relation-shit with him….so don’t you forget that…just keep on with NO contact, and I can’t guarrentee that he will never contact you again, but YOU will feel better to not have contact with him. It will take some time and he MAY quit, may NOT quit, but YOU are in control when you don’t let him make you respond.
strongawoman
Thanks Ox, back in the saddle boss!!
Dupey, thank you friend. Sweet xx
New Beginning
Oxy: That is quite a family history. I hope it has allowed you to find peace that there wasn’t anything you could do for Patrick. It just is what it is. I read another post of yours today regarding the custom boots. No wonder he is ok with being in prison, sounds like he’s made the place his oyster.
Dupey: I’m there too although I have followed the suggestion of a spiritual intuitive who told me with him it is important to be polite. Keep it to hello, good-bye, and thank you. In my particular situation it is important to be polite to mitigate his lashing out however I do not offer any further information. If I have to contact him (and I occasionally do as we were in business together and some info is still sent to me) I keep it simple, to the point and polite. Otherwise I fear the retribution could be toward my son.
Strongawoman: It took me a long time to break away from the mindset that this person loved me. I have finally succeeded but it took me a good two years…..perhaps a little more. Eventually I saw how much I was hurting myself because I had to keep going through withdrawal. Be strong and take it one day at a time.
~New
Back_from_the_edge
strongawoman: i want you to get out a notepad and write 100 times: “I WILL NOT BREAK NO CONTACT ANYMORE BECAUSE IT IS UNHEALTHY FOR ME.” When you have that done, you let me know; okay??? hehehehe
I am proud of you.
Like Ox says: “get back up on that horse and ride…..”
Bury yourself again and if he bothers your friends and your daughters, have them tell him to stop bothering them too.
Keep track of it all in a notebook, dates and times, etc., and go to your constable and tell him what is happening and ask if there is some protection they can afford you.
I want you to be safe, strongawoman.
*Blessings from the left coast of America*
Dupey Dooo Duhhh
Back_from_the_edge
BTW: does the devil rattle their chains all at the same time and at once? Such a sudden onslaught of instant awakening…
Just a thought.
Dupey
Back_from_the_edge
New: I don’t have to have any contact with my ex ppath at all for any reason. All of the wicked stuff he has done to me is quite unforgivable if not entirely and wholeheartedly criminal.
I have NO interaction with “IT” and I like it that way. HE keeps trying to contact me and I just keep on ignoring and I really do DO IT because he is just not that important anymore….and becoming so, more and more all the time. We were never married; we had an affair….for four years he lied to me and deceived me….I found out what this IDIOT was all about and the behavior is inexcusable and unforgivable. It is not my job to forgive.
I am sorry you must manicure yourself to fit inside a spath box. I think that is absolutely horrid. I refuse to live that way and although I am not trying to entice your decisions, I will say one thing: I have walked away from jobs and people because they were being A MORAL. I have never been one to keep my (as spath would say:) BIG MOUTH SHUT. Not when it comes to things that are just and right. I am always polite but can be very curt and right to the point and I left no room for ppath to misunderstand me at our last meeting. Our final meeting.
I used to cower when going out and about in public. Once I finally was able to even CONCEIVE going out in public. I am always seriously looking over my shoulder. I am suspect of everything and everyone around me. I have lived like this for the past five years and I think it’s bullcrap. “I” am the law abiding person here…why am “I” entombed?
No, it isn’t going to be that way.
Not ever.
“IT” can make all the changes – I am not changing a thing.
“IT” will make all the changes – and “IT” will never hear another peep from me as long as it lives and that perhaps shall become “ITS” beacon…we all have to have one, sooner or later, right?
All I can do is pray and move along on the tides of life and be grateful for every moment the Angels have given back to me.
That final meeting and the silence that has followed is my justification. I don’t need any more than that.
Blessings to you New…