If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
LPMarie13
I wish my ex would peck himself to death, lol! I needed that, thanks Skylar!
skylar
LPMarie,
oh yeah! the cogs in my head started spinning when my friend revealed that little nugget to me!! I almost broke NC!
So here’s the recipe for anyone who wants to pick up where BF Skinner left off:
First respond once a week, then once a month, then once a week, then once every 3 months, then go into a random configuration, then once a week, then stop. Send a PI to check on your spath. You will find him dead at his keyboard. His fingers worn to stubs.
LOL!
LPMarie13
HAHAHAHAHA!
New Beginning
Skylar,
Hahahaha, love your post!
~New
Libragirl72
Fell off the NO CONTACT wagon! Ugh! I must get stronger and care less about his needs and care more about my own. I have spent some time self reflecting and realize it’s hard for me to say no and have someone (anyone) that I can help go without. I also realize I have been codependant in this destructive relationship. I need to be taken care of too.
In the last couple of days in preparation for his return trip offshore..I have purchased a carton of cigarettes and a pack of t-shirts for HIM. He hinted at needing a ride almost 2 hours away from my work. But, quickly said “Oh, no I’ll have my sister bring me, you need to be at work at the same time I need to be at the Heliport..so don’t worry about it.” Well, that only lasted a few hours before he was asking me to change my work day in order to bring him. Now, how is it that I feel responsible for getting him to where he needs to go? I don’t know but I do and I will probably move heaven and earth to get him where he needs to go. He also made a manipulative statement “If I can’t go to work, I can’t pay you or anybody back”. And, when we lived togeter he sold his truck to pay rent and restore cell service! I did not think that was a good idea, but at the time he said he was getting a job with a company vehicle. Well, that was also the job that he never received a paycheck from and I don’t know if the job ever really existed. He’ll bring up “But, I sold my truck for us’…
Anyway, I hope he really does go to work Thursday. I need a break to think and detox from all this drama.
Libragirl72
Oh, and remember the $100 I gave him for a fire retardent work jacket? I’ve asked for the receipt 3x’s (Not that I should have to ask). And, then I saw him yesterday wearing a new sweater. I said, “Where’d you get $ for that?’ Oh, it was just $9 and I had some change leftover from the money you gave me.
They are totally thoughtless and financially irresponsible!
Back_from_the_edge
((Libragirl)))
This must have been the ‘moment’ of the s-p-path day!!
I will hope for you too that he goes to work on Thursday.
YOU need time to rethink all this. Without intrusion.
Without the drama and the chaos.
Think about it: If I want drama and chaos in my life, it is going to be MY DRAMA AND CHAOS, not someone elses. I don’t have time for that. Sure, ‘helping’ is one thing but when your kindnesses are being taken for weaknesses and trampled over, isn’t it time to do something different? I think so. Least for me it was time.
YOUR’s is totally thoughtless and financially irresponsible.
MINE is totally thoughtless, cruel and fiscally conservative.
Imagine that. By all rights, he is a wealthy person but one
who spends everyone elses money first. Especially the ones
he picks up off the internet and sleeps with….
How’s that for irresponsible?
Sly like a fox…
skylar
Libra,
of all the people on this blog, you are probably the only one who is a worse martyr than I am. Not sure, I might be worse than you. Either way, there is only one thing that made me abandon my spath: he tried to kill me.
Libra, you said he is thoughtless. HE IS NOT THOUGHTLESS.
My spath asked me, “do you think I’m thoughtless?” By this time I knew that he was not. He put MUCH thought into how to make me feel like crap, there was no thoughtlessness about it.
You desperately need to understand that this man is not helpless, it IS AN ACT. YOU ARE UNDER SIEGE. IT IS A PSYOPS WAR AGAINST YOU.
And you ARE IN MORTAL DANGER. A man this disordered is completely capable of killing you. But you will never know it. He will poison or create an accident. My spath has killed many people in these ways and nobody has ever suspected him – except me, at the very end.
NO they are NOT thoughtless and financially irresponsible. It is a CALCULATED strategy to get the one thing they REALLY want: your emotional attention.
Stop thinking about him, doubting him, or anything to do with him. He is an emotional vampire and he has his fangs in your jugular, but you can’t seem to get away.
Libra, my ex-spath is not the only spath in my life. They run in my family, so I know the signs now. The pity ploy is a HUGE red flag.
Promise here and now that if you ever feel pity or responsibility towards anyone but yourself, you will RUN RUN RUN AWAY. It’s the only answer. really.
Libragirl72
Woww Duped No More! I imagine that is quite painful. And, you are right about the drama..I’ve been dealing with his for an entire year and realize I’m a pretty quiet ‘normal’ kinda gal that used to have a quiet life. So, your’s has money…and, mine has claimed too lol. His latest lie..he sold his dead dad’s motorcycle for 7k. He said his Uncle brought it here from another state with an old pick up truck as well. (remember he has no vehicle). I’ve never seen either one. I’ve asked for pics..got zero. So, today he doesn’t have money for ciggs, or his own t-shirts..because why?? You guessed it..”The check hasn’t cleared yet”. (That was last w/e) So, I know better..but, it does no good to fight or question. I just want to see him off to work and I will feel better about washing my hands of him.
As far as I know, mine is not a cheater (no job, no car..no money..not likely lol) I’m the only one willing to stick around for crumbs..
The blatent disregard for us as human beings! One day I hope they find shame when they look in the mirror.
Back_from_the_edge
It was more painful when I realized that he had tried to kill me on more than one occasion and meant it. And laughed about it afterwards. That’s just for starters. Then the threats came and the stalking. Going on five years worth of it now….
:::RUN:::FAR AND FAST::::LIBRAGIRL:::