A Lovefraud reader recently asked the following question:
If the sociopath is not in it for money (he pays for everything with no access to my accounts) then what are other reasons to stay in a relationship if he doesn’t live with me nor do we share anything financially? Many of the posts I have read involve financial fraud.
If a sociopath has targeted you, it’s because you have something that he or she wants. Often it’s money, but not always. Here are 10 more things that the sociopath may want:
1. Sex
Sociopaths crave stimulation, and sex is highly stimulating, so they pursue it. However, sociopaths are not slaves to their physical urges. They often use sex primarily as a tool of manipulation to get something else that they want.
2. Services
Sociopaths may want you to do something for them that they don’t want to do for themselves, such as cooking, cleaning and taking care of children.
3. Housing
Even if sociopaths don’t directly ask for money, they may suggest living together. They may say it’s because they love you, when, in fact, they have no place to go.
4. Entertainment
Perhaps you’re part of an exciting social scene. The sociopath may want to be with you just to gain access to the people you know.
5. Status
Hanging out with you may be good for their image, especially if you’re rich, famous, successful or competent. Your status boosts their status.
6. Image
Perhaps the sociopath needs a partner like you to complete the image that he or she wants to present to the company or community.
7. Cover
Your presence may help them get away with a hidden agenda. You may be providing cover for the sociopath to pursue a double life of sex, drugs or crime.
8. Connections
Sociopaths may use you, your skills and your connections in order to pursue their grandiose dreams or entrepreneurial plans.
9. Duping delight
Sociopaths enjoy getting over on people—this is called “duping delight.” They often manipulate, deceive and use people just for the fun of it. Some will seduce targets just so they can break their hearts.
10. Domination
Sociopaths feed on power and control, so they sometimes pursue domination for its own sake. They want to prove themselves more powerful than you, perhaps even powerful enough to destroy you.
If a sociopath targets you, it’s because he or she sees you as useful in some way. Once you are no longer useful, you’ll be dumped.
Oh, the smirk was like none I had ever seen before…
oh yes, the smirk…
with those twinkling eyes…
the eyes of a 12 year old with ADHD,
getting away with something and just
loving every moment.
Such evilness I have never seen before
and I have seen A LOT.
xxoo
I think those of us who “get it”, if we start to speak the same language openly and calmly, using the same terms, i.e. duping delight, pity ploy, devalue & discard reptilian stare etc……….this will, in time, increase public awareness of the evil in society.
I’m healing and I sense an internal shift.
Rise of the Empaths 🙂
I think this is 1 thing the spaths don’t want. Exposure.
Spath Wrath 🙁
Thank you all – yes, the more those of us who have been there can verbalize and clarify what we experienced, the more the word will get out. Our goal is to explain what sociopaths are about — and it may not match what most people currently believe.
Donna, all very true… simple and ruthless, and nothing else behind it to question…
With me it was sex, housing, status (that most of all), possible a cover to build new hope with his father and mother that he was redeemable and thus access to housing and finances with them, duping delight and domination. I painted an x-mark upon myself when I threatened to expose him for being a con-dealer who got money from my friends to buy coke but didn’t return. What better than duping the person who threatens to expose him to every tourist he meets the ensuing month at peak season, and instead turn her into a loaylist, because he first made amends and then targeted me.
I get so frustrated because no one except the websites designated to Psychopaths, Narc, Borderlines really understand the depth and I dont know even how to explain the surface of its complexity without getting so intense and filled with pain…I was so duped..Funny thing, he stayed another year and half, dangling me along, after he took (I gave him) my money…he was loving the power and the dominance….I am so glad I am no longer his puppet. … I wish there was a way that the people on this site could list the names or nicknames of the “P” or the nicknames the “P” may have given them..I know there is a profile but the stories and the facts always make me think, “they’re talking about “P” that was in my life!!, it has to be!!”
alivetoday, I was always referred to as “The Momma.” “You’re The Momma, so you cook. The Pappa doesn’t cook.” This was during the height of the worst medical episode before he left when I would come home after 12 grueling hours and unable to walk up 4 steps to get to the door.
At some point, I’ll be naming names, dates, people, events, and the rest. Once this divorce action is settled, you’d better believe it.
Brightest blessings.
Truthspeak: So happy to hear your ‘fire’!
Mine has been growing, as well, these days.
It is almost 6 months since I have uttered a peep.
Although the stalking only ceased when I changed
my number on the first of Aug.
It just all stopped.
Except, of course, for the ‘live’ and
‘in person’ surprise visit that just
happened, last week…
Fortunately, I wasn’t home but I
was told…
I can’t believe THE HEIGHT AND DEPTH
of this obsession. I AM sorry for ‘it’,
but I am more sorry for “MYSELF”……
When someone threatens to kill you,
maim you, murder you…in colorful,
graphic detail, um, I don’t think it
takes a ‘ROCKET SCIENTIST’ to
realize it’s time to get away from
the devil.
Hang in there Truthspeak…
My love, wishes and blessings are with you.
I am stronger, right now, than I have been
in the past almost 13 years. Yes: even
INCLUDING my heart condition. Imagine that.
Dupey
They want your soul because they don’t have one.
They want to trade places with you. When you first meet them, they have nothing and you are the strong one. When they’re done with you, you are deeply in debt, weak, powerless and they walk away with the prize.
This reversal of roles leaves you feeling outraged, vengeful, vindictive. That is when you become them. and they win.
What they really wanted was for you to feel what they feel: life is unfair, whoever has the most money wins. They want you to buy into their materialistic value system because that is all they understand.
Those are the emotions they wanted. Don’t give them any.