One of the defining characteristics of a sociopath is that they never take responsibility for anything. Nothing is ever their fault. Any problem they face is always caused by someone else, or circumstances beyond their control.
I’ll bet that a young sociopath invented the excuse, “The dog ate my homework.”
Early in my relationship with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, he explained that his innovative business venture wasn’t built because “the government took his land.” Of course, he never mentioned the fact that he never owned the land, and never raised the money to buy the land. He just blamed the government for his business failure.
Since I launched Lovefraud, I’ve heard countless stories of sociopathic excuses for their problems and antisocial behavior, like these:
- I’m screwed up because I was abused as a child.
- It’s not my fault that I lost my job — the customer ticked me off.
- I’m not to blame for raping a 14-year-old — she threw herself at me.
- I quit because my boss is a moron.
- I got arrested because the cops had it in for me.
- My ex is mentally unstable — but I put up with her for years.
- My ex won’t let me see my kids because she’s a psycho b*tch.
- The government froze my bank accounts so I can’t access my money.
- I failed because the teacher hates me.
- The guy was so hot-looking that I had to sleep with him.
- The driver gave me a dirty look, so I had to speed past him.
- The dog wouldn’t stop barking so I had to kill it.
In making excuses like these, sociopaths have one or more of these related objectives:
- Playing the victim
- Blame shifting
- Gaining sympathy
They are trying to convince the target — that would be you — that they deserve to be believed, trusted or helped, because they are not responsible for whatever problems they face.
If someone who you believe may be a sociopath is making excuses, here’s what you need to keep in mind:
- Sociopaths lie a lot, so any excuse may be a total fabrication.
- Even if sociopaths aren’t lying, they always have an ulterior motive.
- The excuses are attempts at impression management, to convince you to give them what they want.
So what outrageous excuses have you heard from sociopaths? Add your examples to the list.