How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Review of ‘Love Fraud’ on the Psychopathy Awareness blog

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Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called "Psychopathy Awareness," and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons. In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, "I didn't think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna's book proved me wrong." Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness. Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store. …

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LETTERS TO LOVERAUD: I will work on whom not to trust or love

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Editor's note: Here is Part 2 of yesterday's article, “Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I'm fine,” written by a reader who posts as “Jen.” Okay, so I had a crappy childhood, but I survived it. I came out of it okay. I have had what I now think might have been sociopaths in my life from time to time as friends, lovers, or family. At the time, I had no clue what they were, but I did know they were screwed up. I quickly rid parasites from my life after I figured out they were just out to use people. I was strong, and I was no way going to be surrounded by meanness. So, 2 years after my divorce, I ran into an ex from 20 years prior. I was down in the dumps when I met …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I’m fine

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Editor's note: Lovefaud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “Jen.” I think something must be wrong with me. Wait, I KNOW something is wrong with me, but I don't think it is all that bad.  I think it is the 'bad' people in the world that make it that way. Part 1- My Screwed Up Childhood! I went through a lot of abuse as a child. Not from my parents, but from the people around them. I do blame my parents for putting their children in situations that were wrong. My parents split when I was about 3 and my younger brother was almost 1. My dad and I were real close, and it was very hard for me when they split up. My dad was in his early 20s and a partier. My mom cou …

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Sociopaths keep the charade going for awhile

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I was with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, for two and a half years. During this time, I knew he was costing me money, but he attributed his lack of business success to “being ahead of his time.” I eventually discovered that he was lying and cheating on me. But although I saw eruptions of anger, my ex was never abusive towards me—nothing like the abuse many of you have endured. Some sociopaths can treat people reasonably well for an extended period of time, if it suits their purpose. For example, Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader: I was not in a disastrous relationship with my S. Our relationship was less than three years, our marriage less than two, when …

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LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Relationship survey for Lovefraud readers

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Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I'll be doing my first three classes next month. Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you're dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control. We've discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identif …

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Heal your heart for Valentine’s Day

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For people who feel like their love lives are lacking, Valentine's Day can be really miserable. I know. I spent far more years of my adult life alone than I spent attached. Pining for romance makes us vulnerable to the sweet nothings of the sociopath. Of course, we don't realize when we hear those smooth, silky words that they literally are nothings—empty promises. We think they're the answers to our prayers. Our dreams come true. Then, at some point, we shockingly discover that our “relationship” with Prince or Princess Charming is nothing but a cruel mirage. We've been tricked. We find ourselves once again single, but now we're also carrying whatever additional devastation the socio …

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Sitting with the sociopathic client

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Sitting with an antisocial or sociopathic client is an interesting experience—for a while, anyway, until it grows tedious”¦almost boring. There is the initial curiosity about, and fascination with, the client's antisocial behaviors”¦their nature”¦breadth. Perhaps there's even a certain rubbernecking interest in the train-wreck of moral turpitude these clients present—with their staggering patterns of ethical and moral debaseness. Admittedly, it can be breathtaking, on certain levels, to behold the magnitude of their abuse of others' boundaries and dignity, accompanied by missing feelings of accountability and remorse. And the interest in the experience with such clients persists a bit l …

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Donna Andersen on Upfront & Straightforward radio show Feb. 10

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I'll be a guest on the Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie radio show tomorrow night. The topic: Romantic Sociopaths, Con Artists and Psychopaths. I will discuss "10 Signs that you're dating a sociopath," along with other issues related to these social predators. The show is on Blog Talk Radio, so you can listen to it on your computer. It starts at 10 p.m. EST I'll be on from 10:15 p.m. EST to 11:25 p.m. EST. Here's a link: Romantic Sociopaths, Con Artists and Psychopaths This is a call-in show, so if you have a question, feel free to join the conversation. The phone number is 646-478-5710. UPDATE: The show is archived on Blog Talk Radio—to listen, just click the …

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LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: Here’s why we need to educate high school students

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I'll be presenting information about sociopaths to students in two New Jersey high schools next month. A blog posted recently on Women Explode reminds me why I am doing this. Although the author referred to the callous boy she was with as a "Psychotic Frog," he doesn't sound delusional. He sounds like a classic sociopath. At least she escaped, and the story has a happy ending. Read Psychotic Frog on WomenExplode.com. …

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Find meaning in the betrayal

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “lostgirl.” I fell hopelessly in love with (read as I would have given him my real heart and died for him) a sociopath/psychopath. Skip the details. I am four years divorced. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't grieve the loss of the relationship I thought I had. I cognitively know that the person I married was not who I thought he was and I even believe I know how he came to be. Unfortunately, I have never felt anger, only sadness for what I viewed as the person he could hav …

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