Archive for July, 2012

New Lovefraud author to detail her child custody battle with a sociopath

Lovefraud’s newest contributor is living the nightmare scenario. She met someone who she thought was a talented, successful businessman, because that’s what he told her, and that’s how he behaved. This man promised to make her dreams of a loving family come true. She had a child with him—and a few days after she gave birth, she fled with her infant, fearing for her life.

This woman believes the father of her child is a dangerous psychopath.

The woman is writing under the pen name of “Cappuccino Queen.” She cannot be identified. She’s already received death threats. She needs to stay alive to protect her child. She is truly worried, because at least one woman who was involved with the man is already dead.

Posted in: Donna Andersen

Our Silence Is Their Greatest Weapon

This week I’d like to tell you a true story — although details have been changed to protect privacy. It concerns a recent dinner conversation I had with a well-balanced, well-educated, professional gentleman who has worked at the same company for over a decade. Why? Because he believes in what they do, he loves his job, and he loves the people who work there. This man is articulate, intelligent, great company, happily married and by any measure has made a success of his life — I’ll call him James. So, you can imagine my surprise when, in a quiet moment, this strong man took me aside to confide in me about the horrors he had suffered at the hands of a female boss who had recently left the business.

After the sociopath, make the decision to recover

Finally, you realize what is wrong with your romantic partner: He or she is a sociopath.

Finally, the behavior that was so confusing makes sense. The person you loved, and who you thought loved you, has a personality disorder. Now you realize that anything your partner told you could have been a lie. Now you know why your partner could be so cruel, then tell you how much he or she loved you, practically in the same breath. Now you realize that there never was any love, that your entire relationship was exploitation, and nothing more.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: 30 years married to a sociopath

Editor’s note: The following article was sent by the reader who posts as Opal Rose.

July 24, 2012, was my 30th wedding anniversary. I found the Lovefraud web site in August 2009 after finding a directory on my computer put there by my husband while his computer was being repaired. Unbelievable and worse than I could have ever imagined — porn, violence-against-women-porn, sex dating sites for college age women, e-mails to specific responders to ads. The dude was busy. A frantic visit to my workplace Employee Assistance Program gave me the concept of “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” but subsequent searches led me to the checklist for “Sociopath.” I distinctly remember my jaw dropping when I read that checklist. Bingo!! Learning about sociopaths reframed my entire life since I had a sociopath mother. I did confront him, but he got more verbally violent than I’ve ever seen him and physically threatening and I backed off. He loves his mask.

Honoring the memory of Amara, Sophie and Cecilia

It has been interesting to listen to the pundits trying to explain why someone would declare war on those in a theater and open fire. One said, “most of the time these acts are not committed by sociopaths” and asserted that most of the shooters are “depressed.” Many other pundits have said the shooter is obviously without conscience and have described him as “a psychopath.”

I bring up these issues because of another story that received very little coverage because it was eclipsed by the horrific events in Colorado. Today I would like to honor the memory of Amara, Sophie and Cecilia, three little ones whose only crime was having a monster as a father.

Lovefraud Lesson #5: When sociopaths pretend to be your sudden soul mate

Perhaps, deep in our hearts, we always believed in “love at first sight.” Then we met that person who seemed to be everything we ever wanted, and who felt the same way about us. It’s destiny! We’re soul mates!

If this is what you’re hearing, you may need to watch the newest Lovefraud video.

How our thoughts affect our lives

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

 “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”  (Proverbs 23:7)

I was watching the movie Iron Lady today and a few lines of the character Margaret Thatcher jumped out at me and made me think of that verse above from the Bible. Here are the lines from Mrs. Thatcher, as she was speaking with her physician.

Watch your thoughts
for they become words,
Watch your words
for they become your actions,
Watch your actions
For they become  your habits
Watch your habits
for they become your character
Watch your character
for it becomes your destiny

When is enough, enough?

The only constant in life is that very little remains constant.  None of us know exactly what our futures hold.  This is true for everyone, regarding most aspects of life.  However, when recovering from relationships with psychopathic individuals or those with psychopathic features, it is an especially important concept for us to understand.

Why?  The reality is that sometimes they like to hold on to us.  While the notion seems to defy logic, it is extremely common.  As a result, we must be ready for what this brings, so that we do not allow them to get the best of us or hinder our recoveries.  Their inabilities to release us can rapidly turn bizarre and cause significant harm, emotional or otherwise, unless we are prepared.

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we’ll call “Filippa.”

I’ve been reading Lovefraud for years. I’ve also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, “I’ll show you how to screw over an ex-wife.”

Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out ”¦ releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to manipulate the legal system to harass me or my children. I gave up $150K for full legal and physical custody. He cares only about the money. I care only about our children.

Real Love After The Sociopath

I don’t remember the number of times that my friends warned me not to shut down after it all happened. How many times they’d ask me not to lose myself. To avoid becoming bitter and lonely. To stay open, despite my pain.

“With what you’ve been through you have every right to never trust anyone again” they’d say “but please don’t let this experience change you from being the loving bubbly person that you are — time will heal. Stay open”

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