February 2013 | Page 2 of 3 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

Revisiting Joe Paterno’s involvement in the Jerry Sandusky case

February 18, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 67 Comments

The Penn State bombshell exploded on November 4, 2011. That's when court documents were posted online indicating that Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach, would be charged with 40 counts related to sex crimes involving minors. Since then, Jerry Sandusky has been convicted and sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison. Graham Spanier, the Penn State president, Gary Schultz, a vice president, and Tim Curley, the athletic director, were all charged with crimes related to an alleged cover-up of Sandusky's predatory actions. They are awaiting trial. Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, was not charged with anything. Paterno died on January 22, 2012. …

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Fact v. Feeling: “Disorder” in Divorce

February 17, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader// 83 Comments

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Adelade.” Names have been changed. One of the most important undertaking in divorcing from a sociopath is to remain, at all times, factual during legal proceedings. When I first entered my attorney's office to tell her why I wanted a divorce, I was hysterical and incomprehensible. This was immediately after I had been arrested for Domestic Violence, and I was in a state of sheer panic and anxiety that I had never believed possible. I didn't unload my “feelings” so much as the ugly facts about my action I had discovered that Kerby had not only been living a double-life since before we ever even met, but that his inter …

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“Did He Ever Love Me?” A Qualitative Study of Life With a Psychopathic Husband

February 16, 2013 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 49 Comments

Just Like His Father? (available through this site) was released in October, 2006. At that time I fantasized that the audience for the book would be single parents or grandparents raising the children of personality disordered individuals. I thought that most of the disordered parents would have abandoned the family and want nothing to do with the kids. While we still do not know what percentage of personality disordered parents abandon their kids, I have come to believe that that those who do not are a much bigger social problem. Within 6 months of the release of the book, people who were trying to co-parent with severely disordered former partners began to write me. At first I did not …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am a sociopath

February 16, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader

Lovefraud received the following email from a man who says he is a sociopath. It is published for educational purposes, to provide insight into how he thinks. Comments will not be allowed on this post. I'm a sociopath. I've known for a very long time that I'm a sociopath and that's that. I'm writing to you because I want your opinion. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a highly intelligent male with an IQ of 167. Everyone around me calls me a genius or prodigy; I just think I'm me. I am what I am and it's the only world I know. I am exceptionally good at deduction and reading people. The best example I give for myself would be Sherlock Holmes for the BBC TV series Sherlock. I can …

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Dealing with unhappiness through mindfulness

February 15, 2013 // by Joyce Alexander// 68 Comments

Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) While I am a Christian in belief, I also read about the beliefs of various other religions and philosophies because I think there are valuable lessons in the writings of each of them. Lately as I have been increasing my study of “mindful” meditation. Since this was first practiced by Buddhists, there were some interesting points about Buddhist beliefs brought up by the author in a book I read called Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn. This book is about mindful meditation for stress reduction, and is not a religious wor …

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Another custody battle, another murder

February 14, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 34 Comments

Christine Belford was shot dead in a Delaware courthouse by her former father-in-law, Thomas Matusiewicz. David Matusiewicz, Belford's ex-husband and father of their three children, had previously had his parental rights terminated after kidnapping the children and taking them to Nicaragua. Documents hint at wider conspiracy in Delaware courthouse shooting, on Philly.com. …

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Easy and free ways to take care of ourselves

February 14, 2013 // by Joyce Alexander// 9 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) When we are in the process of recovering from emotional pain and trauma, we aren't helpless. Even if we don't have any insurance to go to a counselor, or to pay for expensive antidepressant medications that we might actually need but can't afford, , there are many things that we already know how to do, and know that they are good for us. The best part is they are free! Exercise When we are “down” and depressed, we become lethargic and we don't want to move or do anything. We just want to crawl into a hole and pull the hole in after us. We lose interest in the parts of life that are fun, interesting and would make us actually feel better if we would do t …

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Love is a leap of faith

February 11, 2013 // by Donna Andersen// 193 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the following email: Hi Donna, I'm a huge fan of LoveFraud and can't thank you enough for making it happen. I know from your story that you've found a wonderful man. So have I, and we've been dating about a year. He's an upbeat, nurturing person with a great sense of humor and good boundaries! Still, I'm finding it difficult to let go and love him. I'm really surprised how long it's taking me to let go of my fear. (I've been out of my marriage 4 years and did a lot of healing before I met new guy.) Could you address this in one of your articles? I see a lot of info on how to recover, and how to spot a spath so you don't hook up with another one. But …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: On a healing path with my inner child

February 10, 2013 // by Lovefraud Reader

Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “Adelade.” The first epiphany of my recovery from the exspath's damage was when my astute counselor identified my “shame-core.” In that same session, it was suggested that I read Healing The Shame That Binds You, by Bradshaw. Since I was grasping for any and every lifeline, I undertook this suggestion with a tenacity that, even in retrospect, still astounds me. I needed answers and my counselor rather shoved me in that direction, mercilessly. I use the term, “mercilessly,” because it seemed harsh at the time, but it was a truly caring and merciful shove. In a nutshell, my “shame-core” was a system of beliefs that caus …

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BOOK REVIEW: The Emotional Life of Your Brain

February 8, 2013 // by Joyce Alexander// 7 Comments

Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) As many of you who have read my articles and book reviews in the past know, I am fascinated by scientific studies of the brain and how our experiences affect both the anatomy and physiology of our brains. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and other life events affect our brains in many ways. In their book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, Richard J. Davidson, PhD, with Sharon Begley, reveal more about the power of the human brain. DNA—the building blocks we get from our parents—except in the case of identical twins, is unique for each of us. Our DNA works by turning on or turning off different genes which we have inherited. For example, in peo …

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