Leslie Morgan Steiner wrote the book Crazy Love about being involved with a man who routinely abused her. In this TED talk from last year, she describes how she was drawn into the relationship, and why she didn't leave. Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave, on Ted.com. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, whole and human again
Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Winifred." She previously wrote "The Other Prey loving someone previously married to a sociopath." I have just read the story from "Edward" entitled, My involvement with a female sociopath. My heart goes out to the people who are collateral damage from the wrath of a sociopath...male or female. I would like to get the message out there that there is actually a way to recover from this hell, and after picking up the pieces and getting to know ourselves again, to find someone who has no evil agenda, someone who wants what we want! I have been with my husband for 10 years now, and we have been through it all! I believe that …
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FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin on psychopathy
In July 2012, the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin focused on the topic of psychopathy. The publication provides an overview of what law enforcement officials should know about psychopaths as criminals. Lovefraud readers will also find the information helpful. Topics include: Psychopathy: An important forensic concept for the 21st century Perspective: The predator when the stalker is a psychopath Looking behind the mask: Implications for interviewing psychopaths Case study: No more bagpipes the threat of the psychopath The language of psychopaths: New findings and implications for law enforcement FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin on Psychopathy, on FBI.gov …
My Marriage To A Sociopath: Lessons Learned
by Quinn Pierce It's fall in the Northeast. The long humid days of summer have been replaced by crisp autumn air, while vibrant, painted leaves cover sidewalks. It's usually my favorite time of year, but I have to admit that this particular change in seasons has been challenging. Instead of enjoying the beautiful scenery and bright sunshine, I've spent most of my days sitting in the interchangeable waiting rooms of doctors, lawyers, counselors, principals, etc, trying to help my children heal while protecting them from their father. Time to Reflect on Change Sitting in these impersonal, and sometimes, over-crowded waiting rooms, I have had lots of time to reflect upon my fifteen y …
People who enjoy inflicting pain and suffering
Dr. Delroy L. Paulhus and his colleagues ran experiments to study "everyday sadists" people who enjoy inflicting pain on others. According to this article in the New York Times, "Psychopaths want to get things from people and don't care about hurting them to do so," Paulhus said. "Sadists look for opportunities to hurt people, and prolong it for their own pleasure." 'Everyday sadists' among us, on NYTimes.com. …
Recovery from the sociopath: Remember to live
For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My involvement with a female sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader in the United Kingdom whom we'll call "Edward." There seems to be a lot of stories regarding male sociopaths, so I thought I would share some insight from my own life story thus far. I met T about 10 years ago. It wasn't love at first sight, but I quite liked her. I guess I fell for my own rescuing mentality (since noticed and dealt with), and made a bid for her affections. I let my guard down, as one who would wish to be loved has a need too, so the other can see some more of me. There were many times during this period where I should have walked away from T, but I thought I loved her and hoped that by being a good, …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: People like him don’t change
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Ethel." I too married a Sociopath although it took way to long for me to see through the lies ”¦ I found out he had been cheating with numerous women ”¦ One day as he kept hanging up on me, I dialed his cell repeatedly in anger. As I kept pushing the #'s, miraculously, for some reason, his voicemail started to play and a woman's voice was saying what time he should pick her up, what restaurant reservations were made ”¦ Well, confused at who it may be, I never said anything, but continued to check the messages daily. The messages seemed a little like business but I went with my gut and went online to ch …
Why being lied to is worse than being the liar
Psychiatrist Anna Fels explains why people who have been lied to over a long period of time find it difficult to recover. Great Betrayals, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other Mistakes
by Quinn Pierce For a long time, I tried to keep confrontations with my ex-husband to a minimum. I always thought that I could avoid causing my boys any further harm by just ”˜keeping the peace'. I considered it a small price to pay if I had to tolerate inconveniences and insults in order to give my children a drama-less environment. But, as is always the case when negotiating with a sociopath, the price was much higher than I ever imagined. Good Intentions I believed I was setting an example by taking the high road and not engaging my ex-husband in his game-playing antics. Unfortunately, what I was doing was letting a bully set the rules and move the boundaries at will. And whil …
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