How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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60 Minutes show on Charles Cullen: A missed opportunity for education

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Editor's note: The following commentary was provided by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Jennifer." Another example of the (gross) misrepresentation of  psychopathology / psychopathy in the media ”¦ The most recent episode of "60 Minutes" (which aired last Sunday, the 28th) contained two segments on Charles Cullen, a former nurse who is now considered to be the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history.  (Cullen was a staff nurse in several New Jersey hospitals and it's now thought that he may have murdered an estimated 400 people, via lethal injection.)  His harrowing story is chronicled in the newly-published book, The Good Nurse:  A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder, by …

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Brain structure and violence

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On Tuesday Dr. Adrian Raine, a professor of criminology, psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, is coming out with a new book called The Anatomy of Violence: The biological roots of crime. Dr. Raine wrote an article in Saturday's Wall Street Journal about neurocriminology—using neuroscience to understand and prevent crime. The article highlights some of the latest research on the relationships between certain brain structures, psychopathy and criminal behavior. The Criminal Mind—Advances in genetics and neuroscience are revolutionizing our understanding of violent behavior as well as ideas about how to prevent and punish crime, on WSJ.com. …

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Brain scans show that psychopaths lack neural connections for empathy

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Researchers showed prisoners, who were diagnosed as psychopaths, images of people being intentionally hurt and observed their brain reactions on fMRI scans. Parts of their brains associated with emotional learning and moral decision-making showed reduced activity. Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others, on UChicago.edu.   …

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The truth about sex and sociopaths

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"Very erotic!" That's how a woman whom we'll call "Cathy" described the beginning of her relationship with "Matt." "Sex, sex, sex," she said, "and sweet whisperings in my ears." After a whirlwind romance, they married. Cathy eventually discovered that sex was all Matt really wanted. She found a duffel bag filled with hard-core porn. His sexual demands made her uncomfortable. He cheated. Yet whenever Matt did or said anything hurtful, he soon acted as if nothing had happened. Matt turned out to be callous, deceitful, manipulative, narcissistic, hostile, irresponsible, reckless and impulsive. In other words, he was a sociopath. Many people think that sociopaths are all deranged serial …

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Recounting domestic violence through poetry

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Editor's note: The following poem was submitted by a Lovefraud reader. The Classic Abuser By Madeleine Mariani This pain in my head is from a concussion It didn't come from any discussion My loving husband hit me square in my head He was trying to kill me as I slept and hoped I'd be dead It has been several hours now and I still feel the pain And tears still flow down my face like an afternoon rain There are laws in place that are supposed to protect me I tried to remember that as I laid on the floor Beat up and bleeding and filled with such gloom As my children were screaming from their own bedroom Daddy, please don't hurt mommy, Not anymore As the rage and beating continued as I laid on …

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FTC survey shows 25.6 million Americans fell victim to fraud in 2011

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WASHINGTON, D.C. The Federal Trade Commission released on April 19, 2013 a statistical survey of fraud in the United States during 2011, which showed that an estimated 25.6 million adults — 10.8 percent of the adult population — were fraud victims. “The FTC fights fraud every day by taking scammers to court and telling consumers how to avoid being scammed.  Studieslike this one help us fine-tune both our enforcement and education efforts,” said Charles Harwood, Acting Director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. While fast-growing online commerce has benefitted consumers with greater choice and convenience, the survey indicates that, as of 2011, the Internet was also the place w …

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An open letter to lawyers who have clients involved with sociopaths

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Dear Mr. or Ms. Esquire, When a client tells you his or her opponent is a sociopath, please be aware of the ramifications for your legal case. First of all, do not disregard the statement just because the opponent hasn't killed anyone. A common perception is that sociopaths (people who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders) are all deranged serial killers. This is not true—only a small percentage of sociopaths commit murder. But all sociopaths are social predators, and live by exploiting others. Frequently this is financial exploitation—many sociopaths are skilled con artists—but not always. Sociopaths also target people who can p …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath has zero power over how I think

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as "Angela." I am in the beginning stages of divorcing my sociopath husband. Today, I went to the house to move out, since my children and I left with nothing 6 weeks ago. He was allowed to be there, though I don't understand why as I have a restraining order against him. That was a ”¦ well, it was a sociopathic experience. He laughed and joked with the police officers who were mediating the whole circus and as soon as I left, he took to social media to talk about his "feelings." He rambled on about how cold and heartless I am, and how I will realize what I've lost when it's too late. Are you joking?????? One of th …

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When their own behaviors alienate them from others

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"What you do speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say."  Ralph Waldo Emerson was quite accurate with this quote.  Anyone who has experienced life with an individual with psychopathic features will likely confirm this as fact, largely because they have so much experience with the imbalance between the two. However, individuals with these features will never admit that this dichotomy exists.  Conversely, they will swiftly look elsewhere in an effort to assign blame, pointing the fingers at those around them for other's reactions to their own acts.  These individuals will never legitimately take responsibility for what they do or the problems they create, in spite of the words they may ech …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m setting boundaries and he HATES it

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call Wendy. I have read your blog so much over the last 3 years that it has become a very valuable tool in the fight against my sociopath ex. Forgive me for how I say this, but it is my weapon of mass destruction against him in my fight for my son's mental and emotional well-being. (Baby is 2& 1/2.) My story started early 2009 when I met my sociopath. It was a whirlwind courtship and of course he said all the right things to a single Mom whose husband had died 6 years before. I became pregnant later that year and that's when my oldest child's and my world flipped upside down. He began by accusing me of …

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