For the first time in 12 years, we've had a dog in the house. Terry and I have been watching our nephew's dog while he and his parents are on vacation. The dog, Cade, is a frisky 15-month-old mix. I don't know what breeds are in the mix, but Cade looks a lot like Beau, the dog I had while married to the sociopath and the dog who kept me company as I recovered from my ex-husband's destruction. I've been having flashbacks. Cade follows me around the house the way Beau did. He curls up in the same spots on the carpet that Beau liked. And he gets in the same kind of trouble that Beau did when he was young. I'm loving every minute of it (okay, I could do with a little less chewing). Cade …
How to protect yourself online
The Internet is now an integral part of our lives, so it's important to know how to protect ourselves online. The U.S.government has created a great website, OnGuardOnline.gov, with all kinds of information on exactly how to do that. Lovefraud strongly recommends that you take a look at it watch the videos and read some articles with great tips for staying safe. Here are a few good ones: Common online scams Computer security Using IP cameras safely Resource provided by a Lovefraud reader …
Maintaining No Contact with a Sociopath
Boundaries? I Don't Know What Those Are It's amazing how even after years and months go by of you making it perfectly clear what kind of contact you want with the sociopath, they don't reciprocate your boundaries. I think it's just mind boggling over and over again in my mind that this concept of boundaries is so foreign to them, and they have no means, let alone intentions, of adhering to them. I mean normal people who find out other people don't want them to contact them anymore, just...stop. But the sociopath does the exact opposite. They continue to push buttons, push boundaries, push limits. There is a constant alertness on the part of the person that set up the boundaries against t …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The ride on the sociocrazytrain was painful, but I don’t regret it
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call Roseann. I just wanted to thank you for developing the Lovefraud site, sharing your experience and writing your books. I have read both. The books and your site have helped me tremendously, not only initially when I needed to understand what was happening, during the no contact time and even now, when he's long gone. It helps me to remember who I was back then and to see whom I am now and I'm pleased with my progress and the choices I made. Cutting contact All in all, I spent the better part of 10 years dealing with my on and off relationship/friendship with my spath and THE best thing I did was cut …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The ride on the sociocrazytrain was painful, but I don’t regret itRead More
Sociopaths and their multiple simultaneous manipulation strategies
Lovefraud received the following question from a reader: My father was a nut job and so was my husband and now I am dating one — a psychopath. I just had this question — Do these men act like they do not want you around and push you away and make you feel so sad for them — making you feel like you failed them somehow — never do enough — and then suddenly you find yourself begging them to show you how much better you can do for them? I am sure the answer is yes ”— but I guess I just need confirmation— This reader, in one sentence, listed four different manipulation tactics employed by sociopaths: Acting like they don't want you and pushing you away Making you feel sad for them …
Sociopaths and their multiple simultaneous manipulation strategiesRead More
Machiavellian brains light up with the opportunity to exploit others
It's called the Dark Triad narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. You definitely want to avoid people who have these traits and personality disorders. Machiavellianism is a term used to describe those who manipulate and deceive to get their way. A recent study shows that these traits are hardwired into the brains of people who act this way. The study was conducted by researchers at the University of Pecs in Hungary. They tested the research subjects for Machiavellianism, and divided them into "high Mach" and "low Mach" groups. Then they used fMRI machines to observe the subjects' brains while they played a "trust game." The "high Machs" showed higher neural activity when their partner …
Machiavellian brains light up with the opportunity to exploit othersRead More
Suffering PTSD from a Sociopath and asking God for help
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. The Downward Spiral to the Bottom A year and a half after the downward spiral of a 10 year relationship came to the ground, I started noticing new behaviors of mine surface. New thoughts, new spikes in anger, outward and physical expressions of fear, anxiety, being paranoid, scared. I'm not sure why in my case it took longer to surface. It could be because I was dealing internally with so many other facets of breaking free like the divorce, custody battles, financial wars and deep betrayal and confusion over the last year. Episodes I started to have these "episodes" t …
Suffering PTSD from a Sociopath and asking God for helpRead More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Breaking free of the controlling, sociopathic girlfriend
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who posts as “seekeroflight.” I feel this overwhelming urge to reach out to your website, and I am not quite sure exactly why. I'm working my way through reading pretty much your whole website, or at least the articles which strike my eye as I go through it. It is one of very few things in my life right now that helps me to feel a little less alone. I told my life partner (of almost 7 1/2 years) that I was done with the relationship in January of this year. I gave her pretty much no warning just sat down one evening and told her I thought we should break up. She claims she saw it coming, but I think that's a lie. Judging by ho …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Breaking free of the controlling, sociopathic girlfriendRead More
26 abusive behaviors from a female narcissistic sociopath
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who calls himself “Fly” posted the following comment on August 7, 2015. It is a great description of dysfunctional behavior in a woman, so it is reproduced here in order to help others. Fly received responses responses to his email from the woman, which are reproduced below. He read the emails but did not respond I am a 60 year old male who was living with a 50 year old female for three years. I had known her for two years before. I wrote a letter to my Ex-girlfriend a few days after I left. I had said to myself enough is enough after one of her quick insulting outbursts. I packed my belongings, threw them in the car and just walked out of the house never to …
26 abusive behaviors from a female narcissistic sociopathRead More
Why sociopaths cheat
Lovefraud received an email from a reader whom we'll call "Ingrid." She brought up a question that I've heard over and over: Just wondering if you could tell me why sometimes they stay with others longer as I feel he wants this new woman for his main supply even though he was trying for a baby with me, what does a main supply have that I didn't? He seems settled with her. Ingrid, most sociopaths cheat on their romantic partners. In fact, they are often cheating throughout the entire relationship, but it may take you a while to find out about it. Or you may have caught hints that the sociopaths were cheating, but they were able to explain the situations away. Eventually, however, you …