How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Pushed, and then abandoned, by a controlling older brother

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who lives in Greece and Cyprus. We'll call her "Evangelina." My brother is 14 years older. He took charge of my life's choices (where to live as a child, what to study as young person applying for university), and I blindly followed, as I fully trusted him. He was my brother after all ”¦ He then turned nasty every single time I did not fulfill his expectations. He even lied and said often that a choice that was made by him, was only mine. Like studying archaeological conservation when I knew I am weak in sciences. But he insisted it's for my interest not to study what I want and I'm inclined toward (I'm good with arts so I wa …

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He controlled my moves and thoughts with diabolical and methodical precision

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Ingrid." I met my Sociopath over 10 years ago and just like in all the books and blogs I have read as of late fell hard and fast for what I thought was honesty as he would look me right in the eyes and tell me everything any women wants to hear ”¦ you know how beautiful I was, how he wishes he would have met me in his twenties, how we are so much alike, blah, blah, blah. Unbeknown to me he was gathering all the information he would need later to control my every move and thought and that he did with DIABOLICAL AND METHODICAL precision and I being the honest and open hearted person I am I believed him. My Sociopath used and …

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Are you a senior living in New York? Did you meet a liar on the Internet?

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By Joyce M. Short Catfish Profiles are personal write-ups containing fictitious information, and they are prolific in internet dating. And all too many participants here on Lovefraud have first-hand knowledge of this heart-wrenching problem.   As many of you are aware, I've been working diligently to create laws that will prevent victims from being defrauded into relationships.  I'm happy to report that on October 21, 2015, I'll be testifying before legislators in New York State about this problem. In order to effectively get the message across, I'd like to hear real-life cases of victims who fell prey to a Catfish Profiles in New York State. If you are age 55 or older and met a person …

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Men, women, leadership and personality disorders

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Why are there more men in business management then women? In the Harvard Business Review, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor of business psychology at University College London, argues that it's because we can't distinguish competence from confidence. Who exhibits tremendous confidence? People with personality disorders narcissism, psychopathy, histrionic. And statistically, more men are disordered than women. Chomorro-Premuzic also points out that the characteristics that enable disordered people to get the job are also the characteristics that make them fail. Why do so many incompetent men become leaders? on HBR.org. Thanks to the Lovefraud reader Ann Stevenson for sending the link. …

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My close call with a sex-obsessed cult

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Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader "Seekeroflight" sends us the following story related to her almost being dragged into a cult. In Lovefraud's view, cult leaders are sociopaths on steroids, and engage in mind control over cult members. There is a story from my past that I've wanted to share somewhere publicly, and I am thinking this might be a good place to do so. It doesn't deal with a sociopath directly, but it is a type of situation that those of us vulnerable to sociopaths also may be vulnerable to. I certainly was. It also deals with a specific group which is incredibly dangerous, but of whom there is almost zero knowledge of within the United States even though they are practically …

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New weapon against domestic abuse: GoPro camera

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A former Army Ranger from Dunedin, Florida, wore a GoPro camera on his belt while picking up his two-year-old twins from his former wife. It was rolling while the woman grabbed his genitals. With the video as evidence, Corinne Novack, 37, was charged with domestic violence. Soldier uses GoPro to prove wife's domestic abuse, on WTSP.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Mission almost impossible: Finding mass shooters before they kill

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It's become all too familiar all of a sudden, someone opens fire on people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the aftermath, the question is asked: Didn't anyone know that the shooter was disturbed? Sometimes, unfortunately, the answer is no. Matthew Goldenberg, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine, explains why it's so hard to identify potential mass murderers. Can we pick out the mass shooters before they kill? on LATimes.com. A guide to mass shootings in America, on MotherJones.com.   …

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Researchers say a wide face predicts psychopathic traits in men

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Wow might there be a way to spot a psychopathic man just by looking at him? Researchers from Goethe University in Frankfurt, Germany, have published a paper showing that a man's facial width-to-height ratio (fWHR) predicts psychopathy. In a study that included undergraduate students and prison inmates, the researchers found an association between the fWHR and the psychopathy traits of fearless dominance, self-centered impulsivity, and with overall psychopathy scores. According to the Daily Mail, "Last year, a separate study found both men and women with wide faces tend to be more aggressive, dominant and angry." What's interesting is that this research apparently began with monkeys. …

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All of his abuse was secret

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Marla Marie.” Following 9/11, I moved back home and within just three years married my ex-husband. I think the trauma of 9/11 inspired me to hurry up and get a life, and in doing so I overlooked some red flags. I was also naive in love matters. My ex-husband is the hallmark charming, handsome nomad. Although even prior to marriage not all of his stories "checked out" it immediately escalated once we were married. He was using drugs, had a criminal record and two prior marriages. He also had a child he never knew/saw. We were married and divorced within 2 years. All of his abuse was secret. He would berate me …

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I was supposed to give and give, but was not allowed to ask for anything

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I have spent the last 7.5 years in a relationship with a sociopath. I gave more than I had to give mentally, emotionally and financially. He barely worked in that time. He lied, cheated and did his best to convince me I was crazy. He would steal and swear on his children he would never do that to me. The last two years of the relationship I would often tell him he was a sociopath, but it wasn't until the last six months that I truly started researching the disorder and everything I read on the topic was him to a T! It was as if someone sat back documenting his behaviors, then put them all together to create this disorder. The charm, false sense of entitlement, pathological lying, parasitic …

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