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Archive for September, 2015

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Pushed, and then abandoned, by a controlling older brother

Greek statue_300x271Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who lives in Greece and Cyprus. We’ll call her “Evangelina.”

My brother is 14 years older. He took charge of my life’s choices (where to live as a child, what to study as young person applying for university), and I blindly followed, as I fully trusted him. He was my brother after all ”¦

He then turned nasty every single time I did not fulfill his expectations. He even lied and said often that a choice that was made by him, was only mine.

Soldiers kicked out of the Army for standing up against child rape

Sgt. First Class Charles Martland

Sgt. 1st Class Charles Martland

Two U.S. Army soldiers were kicked out of the military for confronting an Afghan police commander who allegedly raped a boy and beat his mother.

Sgt. 1st Class Charles Martland, a Green Beret who won two Bronze stars, and Captain Daniel Quinn were disciplined by the Army after they beat up the police commander.

Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-California, is demanding that the Army overturn the punishment.

In Afghanistan, men frequently abuse young boys. It’s called “bacha bazi,” or “boy play.”

Green Beret discharged for beating alleged child rapist speaks out, on CNN.com.

Posted in: Cases

Why psychopaths don’t change

Angry psychopathLovefraud recently received the following question:

I’ve read in multiple places, written by multiple specialists that psychopaths/sociopaths cannot be rehabilitated or changed.

Surely I’m not the only person to have asked this:  Why not?

The short answer to this question is simple: Psychopaths don’t change because they don’t want to.

The key to any kind of behavioral change is desire. It’s hard work to change the way we relate to other people, the world or even ourselves. The reason any of us embark on a self-improvement project is because we are not happy. Our relationships are not fulfilling, we believe we could do better in our careers, or we just want to feel better. For reasons like these, we are motivated to change.

He controlled my moves and thoughts with diabolical and methodical precision

Spath TalesLovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Ingrid.”

I met my Sociopath over 10 years ago and just like in all the books and blogs I have read as of late fell hard and fast for what I thought was honesty as he would look me right in the eyes and tell me everything any women wants to hear ”¦ you know how beautiful I was, how he wishes he would have met me in his twenties, how we are so much alike, blah, blah, blah.

Are you a senior living in New York? Did you meet a liar on the Internet?

catfishBy Joyce M. Short

Catfish Profiles are personal write-ups containing fictitious information, and they are prolific in internet dating. And all too many participants here on Lovefraud have first-hand knowledge of this heart-wrenching problem.  

As many of you are aware, I’ve been working diligently to create laws that will prevent victims from being defrauded into relationships.  I’m happy to report that on October 21, 2015, I’ll be testifying before legislators in New York State about this problem.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Men, women, leadership and personality disorders

businessman thumbsupWhy are there more men in business management then women? In the Harvard Business Review, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor of business psychology at University College London, argues that it’s because we can’t distinguish competence from confidence.

Who exhibits tremendous confidence? People with personality disorders narcissism, psychopathy, histrionic. And statistically, more men are disordered than women.

Chomorro-Premuzic also points out that the characteristics that enable disordered people to get the job are also the characteristics that make them fail.

Why do so many incompetent men become leaders? on HBR.org.

Thanks to the Lovefraud reader Ann Stevenson for sending the link.

Posted in: Scientific research

On Canadian TV tonight: ‘The Psychopath Next Door’

Psychopath next door

According to the program, psychopaths thrive in business.

Tonight at 9 p.m. on CBC, our Canadian readers can watch The Psychopath Next Door, which “provides a chilling and provocative examination of those in our midst who act without conscience.”

The documentary featuring several well-known experts on the disorder, such as Dr. Robert Hare, professor emeritus at the University of British Columbia, who developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised. Dr. Steven Porter, also of the university, says:

“Psychopaths are every bit as rational as any human being, if not more so, because they don’t have the noise of human emotion. Psychopaths do know right from wrong in the ‘cognitive’ or rational sense, and even do as well on moral-reasoning tasks in the lab setting as the rest of us.”

My close call with a sex-obsessed cult

Cult turn right

(Photo by Kevin Dooley)

Editor’s note: The Lovefraud reader “Seekeroflight” sends us the following story related to her almost being dragged into a cult. In Lovefraud’s view, cult leaders are sociopaths on steroids, and engage in mind control over cult members.

There is a story from my past that I’ve wanted to share somewhere publicly, and I am thinking this might be a good place to do so. It doesn’t deal with a sociopath directly, but it is a type of situation that those of us vulnerable to sociopaths also may be vulnerable to. I certainly was. It also deals with a specific group which is incredibly dangerous, but of whom there is almost zero knowledge of within the United States even though they are practically at our doorstep.

New weapon against domestic abuse: GoPro camera

A former Army Ranger from Dunedin, Florida, wore a GoPro camera on his belt while picking up his two-year-old twins from his former wife. It was rolling while the woman grabbed his genitals.

With the video as evidence, Corinne Novack, 37, was charged with domestic violence.

Soldier uses GoPro to prove wife’s domestic abuse, on WTSP.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Female sociopaths

12 rules for negotiating with a psychopath

Serious young woman giving stop gestureLovefraud recently received the following email:

I have woken up to the fact that I am living among a nest of snakes. This includes my kids that I love. Can you recommend anything to read that helps with negotiating with a psychopath? They are so angry and so nasty. However, things “must” be worked out. Any suggestions on reading materials?

The safest approach to take with a psychopath is not to negotiate at all, to get the person out of your life. Unfortunately, this is not always possible, especially when the psychopath is your spouse and you share children.

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