How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopaths as chameleons — they become whatever they need to be for their latest scam

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My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, considered himself to be an entrepreneur, the equal of any man who ever built a commercial empire. As he was seducing me, painting a glimmering picture of how successful and rich we would become, he proclaimed that he would be "the next Walt Disney."When Montgomery went to business meetings, he wore a jacket, trousers, and a polo shirt. He refused to wear ties, but he always had a silk square in his jacket pocket. He told me that even when he was young, he always dressed up in jackets and cravats, eschewing the psychedelic fashions of the 60s. (For more about my story, it's all in my book, Love Fraud.)So you can imagine my surprise when I heard …

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Dr. Laura Rubiales: Sociopaths, PTSD and the Mind Body Connection

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By Dr. Laura Rubiales After reading an e-mail with the accusatory gibberish/provoking/non-responsibility-taking BS that only a sociopath or other bona-fide Cluster B personality disordered person can seem to write, I found myself with palpitations, panicked, blood pressure rising, on the verge of a spiking migraine and barely able to breathe. I immediately called a girlfriend to therapeutically debrief. In her gorgeous Louisiana Southern drawl she said, “Darlin,’ you just don’t mess with crazy.” In all I have learned about the nervous system from over 20 years of studying and working with sick people, let me tell you why it is best to just “not mess with crazy” from a physiological pers …

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Sociopaths leave us totally disoriented — here’s why

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Most of us grow up believing that all people are created equal, that human beings are basically good, and everybody wants to be loved. These are the messages we learn in school, in church, and in the age of political correctness, from the media. These beliefs are the lenses through which we view the world and the people in it. Our beliefs influence how we perceive and understand the behavior of those we meet. And, for 84 percent of the population, the beliefs work just fine. Bad treatment Then we realize that someone in our life isn't treating us well. We may think this person is reacting to our behavior, that we're doing something to provoke anger or elicit criticism — after all, t …

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Living with a Sociopath

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Well where do I start? I guess right from the beginning. 1999 I was 31 when I met the most handsome charming man in the world, I had travelled well, I used to be a holiday rep abroad, so I thought I was a pretty good judge of character…….. I met him on a night out with friends, on a Saturday Night, we talked all night long, I even went back to his place (no funny business) and we talked all night there too!! We arranged out 1st date the following Mon, what a great night we had, he even told people that we were on our honeymoon, such a laugh as is was our very 1st date!! Things progressed very very quickly we met in June, engaged by Sept and living together by October, and it wa …

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After the sociopath: Courage is fear that said its prayers

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Carol18." I’m a 62-year-old woman who left a sociopath husband three years ago. I went online to meet who I thought was my dream man. He was charming; the second date he said I will treat you like no other man has ever treated you before. That was the only true thing he ever said to me. He was romantic my Prince Charming, bought flowers, cards. Then after I fell in love, he tells me he had cancer, had a job as a cook (profile said chef) and financially secure. His car broke. He was sobbing, babe how will I get to work? Well now my savings is drained $3,200, helping him paid off title loans to help h …

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My cousin and the Pennsylvania pedophile priests

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Hundreds of Roman Catholic priests sexually abused thousands of children over multiple decades, according to a grand jury report released by Pennsylvania Attorney General Office on August 14. One of those children may have been my cousin, Terry Smith. Terry lived with his family in Millville, New Jersey, which is less than an hour from Philadelphia. He was a few years older than me. I remember that he was a born entertainer; he always wanted to joke around, play music and sing. I guess that's why the priests liked him. I don't know much about what Terry endured, but I did hear that he went to the Jersey shore with priests, and that he was "passed around." Perhaps he was abused by …

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Tuesday Aug. 14: Forgiving yourself for falling for the sociopath

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Lovefraud is proud and honored to be hosting a webinar with Travis Vining next week: Self-Forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt Tuesday, August 14, 2018 • 8-9 pm ET • $25 Click for more info Travis will be addressing an important issue that I know many of us struggle with — overcoming our anger at ourselves for our involvement with the sociopath. I know that when I finally realized that everything I believed about my disordered ex-husband was a lie, and that my entire marriage had been nothing but a financial scam, the person I was most angry with was myself. I wish Travis had been around for me to talk to back then. In his caring, easy-going way, Travis would have …

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Watch online: He Lied About Everything

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I just watched the documentary He Lied About Everything, available online at InvestigationDiscovery.com. It's the story of Benita Alexander, who as a NBC News producer, was seduced and scammed by Dr. Paolo Macchiarini, a world-famous surgeon. I think Benita was incredibly brave in telling her story. While the good doctor was love bombing her, they both recorded plenty of videos. Benita, I'm sure, thought she was recording her fairytale romance. I don't know what was in Macchiarini's mind, because he obviously knew his whole involvement was a fake, so essentially what he recorded was evidence of his psychopathy. But viewers see the whole story, from the initial sparks to the ov …

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No clear motives in Las Vegas and Aurora, Colorado mass shootings

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James Holmes killed 12 people and wounded 58 others during the midnight showing of a Batman movie in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater. Steven Paddock killed 58 people and wounded 800 who were attending a country music festival in Las Vegas, Nevada. Both of these cases were in the news recently as experts said they do not have a clear motive in either of the two mass shootings. Holmes is serving a life sentence for the shooting, which took place on July 20, 2012. One of the court-appointed psychiatrists who interviewed him has just come out with a book, A Dark Night in Aurora: Inside James Holmes and the Colorado Mass Shootings. The other court-appointed doctor, Jeffrey L. Metzer, …

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Advice for dating again after the sociopath

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Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as "Saskgirl:" I must say that your website is a lifesaver. It has helped me recover from a devastating relationship with a sociopath. It is amazing how many stories I read on your site and can totally identify with them. The people could be talking about the piece of garbage I was tangled up with. I have been single for about a year and a half and have spent a lot of that time healing and working on me. I am ready to start dating (I think) but I'm afraid that it will be disastrous for me. I was so emotionally wrecked that I'm terrified of being there again. I don't trust anyone and believe that just about every thing …

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