How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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3 vital concepts about sociopaths that are key to our survival

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Two Lovefraud readers recently sent in articles explaining their views regarding their experiences with sociopaths. Their opinions are almost completely opposite from each other. In The importance of recognizing the complexities of sociopath relationships, the reader “Andrea19” suggests a nuanced way of looking at our experiences with sociopaths. Yes, her ex-husband is manipulative and deceptive, she writes, but she acknowledges that she has her own mental health issues that contributed to the dysfunctional relationship. The Lovefraud reader “Lanie19” takes a different view. In her article, I lived among sociopathic monsters all of my life, she comes out and says, “They are all monsters.” H …

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I lived among sociopathic monsters all my life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Lanie19." They are all monsters. Try to put one in a box and you'll find they are as individual as we humans. It's worth the effort to educate humans but don't get so hung up on identifying them to know if the monster resembles a psycho, a sociopath, or a narcissist. What difference does it make if they kill you after they terrorize and torture you, if they beat you for years or if they lock you in an invisible cage and rip and tear and pick you apart discarding you like trash until their is nothing left of you? What difference does it make? Are we to be less guarded if an alligator is approaching us …

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The importance of recognizing the complexities of sociopath relationships

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following commentary from a reader whom we'll call, "Andrea19." My story is similar to those of so many others in this forum. The things my X-husband did were obviously unacceptable. Our 15 years together was a time of seemingly perfect harmony punctuated by periods of hell, where he descended into ways of punishing me or my oldest daughter that three therapists by now have proclaimed to be classical cases of emotional abuse. He also started cheating on me the year we got married, and this only got worse over time. By the time I was pregnant with our second child. I was also the main income earner. In spite of this, I sacrificed my career by …

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‘Listen to your intuition,’ says a woman who didn’t, and died regretting it

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Last year, I had an email exchange with a woman whom we'll call, "Amy." I sent out a newsletter that included an article about staying safe from sociopaths by listening to our intuition. Amy responded: *** Nov. 13, 2018 Hi Donna, This is so true about intuition. The biggest mistake I made was not trusting my gut feeling that there was something wrong with the man to whom I was engaged. I asked everyone, friends and family, for support and they all said i should marry him. Now I realize that the quick engagement was a trap to get me hooked and committed, to be hesitant to break it off. I see it now as a real tactic to get me hooked. Back then, it seemed like the worst thing to be …

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Sexually abused as a child, she later chose three abusive partners

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By Eleanor Cowan Bullied incessantly by an older brother, "Emily" got called fat, stupid, and ugly…all projections of her sibling’s own worst fears. From childhood, Em was sexually molested by him so much that she “got used to it.” Her mom screamed viciously at anyone not removing their filthy boots at the door, but remained silent about the muddy molestations tracked by her extremely isolated and overweight son. That’s the backstory. Fast forward fifty years. Emily just left her third partner. The first two also disqualified themselves: The first was a shameless bully. He insisted his slaps and punches were harmless, just as he emphasized that sex on demand was a marital right. F …

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The sociopath preys on young girls with vulnerabilities

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Editor's note: This story was written by a Lovefraud reader who posts as "stars4healing." I'm not a good storyteller. I just want to try my best to put some facts out there in case it helps someone. This is just a couple easy to explain things he put me (and others) through. He is an engineer, very smart man. Comes off as perverted, "creepy" (he hates that word), and desperate. He likes to seem like a helper. This way he can look like a victim when his "helpers" report his abuse. He preys on young girls with vulnerabilities, mainly drug addicts. Thanks to me, he's mastered the art of exploiting and humiliating an addict. I wasn't addicted when I met him. I was a teenager; he was 10 …

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7 Classic lies from sociopaths and how to spot them

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Sociopaths lie. No matter what type of relationship you have with a sociopath — romantic, family, business or casual — sooner or later the sociopath will lie to you. The circumstances may vary, the scale of the lie may vary, but at some point the sociopath will tell you something that simply isn't true. Following are seven classic lies from sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders). How many have you heard? I love you Sociopaths are incapable of love, as you and I understand it. Real love includes caregiving, and sociopaths simply cannot put someone else's well being before their own. How …

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Michelle Carter claims urging her boyfriend to commit suicide was “free speech”

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On July 12, 2014, two Massachusetts teenagers, Michelle Carter and her boyfriend Conrad Roy III, were texting about suicide. Specifically, Carter urged Roy to commit suicide. She wrote: "Just go somewhere in your truck and no one is really out there right now because it's an awkward time. If you don't do it now you're never gonna do it, and you can say you'll do it tomorrow, but you probably won't. Tonight? Love you." Roy got back in his truck and committed suicide. Almost three years later, Carter was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. Carter's conviction was upheld by the Massachusetts Supreme Court on February 6, 2019. She is now serving a 15-month prison sentence. But a few …

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This sociopathic girl hacked me and put spyware on my phone

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman who posts as "rabb1t." Names are changed. Few years ago I met a girl on FB called Catherine. It was a random add and we liked each others stuff but didn’t really talk for a a few months until May 2016. This girl saw, as she was on my friends list, that I was at a vulnerable time in my life. I had just come out of a bad relationship and I also found out that someone who I thought was my best friend was stealing from me. I expressed my frustration on FB and this Catherine must have seen it as an opportunity to psychologically and emotionally abuse me. Over the days we got talking and she started to send me voice notes and …

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What to do with your anger at the sociopath

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When I finally realized that my husband, James Montgomery, had lied to me, cheated on me, and targeted me just to take my money, I was angry. Furious. Outraged. With each lie I discovered, my internal upheaval grew. Yes, he was cheating with multiple women, and taking money from them as well. No, he was not a Hollywood screenwriter, although he pretended to be. No, he had never served in the Australian military, even though he claimed to have won its highest honor. I felt the anger deep within me. I had a hard time concentrating on what I needed to do to extricate myself from the mess. I couldn't sleep. Perhaps you know what I mean. Anger management Dealing with anger was …

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