Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader, whom we'll call Barb20, about the price of not listening to intuition. I was in a relationship with a sociopath for 10 years on and off. Two of those married to him. I am currently separated from him and living in another state. I originally met him online and we started dating. I remember the first few dates I had a little person inside telling me I was too good for him but quickly squashed that because it seemed so conceited. He came from a low income family, didn’t graduate high school and drove a truck for a living. I come from a middle class family, I’m a college graduate and had a good career. Knowing what I k …
Sociopaths, pain and the Primal Scream
UPDATED FOR 2020: The Primal Scream — I remember this book being all the rage when it was published in 1970, even though at the time I had just started high school. Everyone was talking about the book, by Arthur Janov, and the therapy he developed, called primal therapy. For me, that was the end of it. I never read the book. I never heard anything more about Arthur Janov. I haven't thought about Primal Scream or primal therapy in more than 40 years, until a Lovefraud reader brought it up. The reader sent me a link to an article on Arthur Janov's blog. (He was alive until recently. Janov died in 2017 at the age of 93.) The article was is entitled Why we need safety, and it was published …
Trying to protect a child from parental alienation
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Suzanne20," about her quest to protect a child from parental alienation. The story of my 4-year long battle for my granddaughter and my son. My then 19 year old son Robert (not his true name) had ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) in 2000 as a result of sporting accident. He came out of it well, as he was highly intelligent before the injury. Robert was always a top student, quite creative and artistic who loved science, and he was a much liked young person known for his kindness and adventurous spirit. He has been drug and alcohol free; he never smoked. He never had any involvement with police. Three years …
Dealing with nasty emails from sociopaths
UPDATED FOR 2020 — The Lovefraud reader "Flicka" copied us on the following email thread. The exchange is a good example of how sociopaths use every opportunity to assert control, divide and conquer family members, and engage in character assassination. So how do you deal with nasty emails from sociopaths? By way of background, Flicka was married to a sociopath. Unfortunately, all of her five children inherited their father's disorder and also became sociopaths. Flicka's children are now adults, and she is estranged from all of them. So now, when she should be doting on her grandchildren, she barely sees them. One son, whom we'll call "Bill," was married to a Vietnamese woman, whom w …
Her vacation love became a con
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about a vacation love that became a con from a reader whom we'll call Elsa20. Names are changed. I met Aslan when I was staying at a hotel in Istanbul. He worked at the front desk. We established a friendship. I left to travel around Turkey and came back to Istanbul and it was the beginning of a long distance relationship. He moved to another city in Turkey to work as a hotel manager. I visited him 3 times. He said he loved me; he wanted to marry me. On one of my visits he asked me for $5,000 to pay his military exemption. After back and forth I wired him the money using Western Union. He promised he would pay me back in May …
5 reasons why we fall for a con artist
UPDATED FOR 2020: We discover that our romantic partner is a complete and utter fake, and we wonder how in the world we could ever fall for a con artist. The proclamations of love, the stories of his or her past — nothing was true. All the money that our partner desperately needed — or promised would buy a life of luxury for the two of us — well, that evaporated into expensive and unnecessary toys, or a secret life with one or more other lovers (targets). When it finally sinks in that we've been conned, the first question we ask of ourselves is, "How could I have been so stupid?" Followed by, "Why didn't I see this coming?" Feeling like chumps, we come down really hard on ourse …
Why I wrote, ‘No One Knew’ – I married a sociopath
By Renee Olivier Many people don’t know or aren’t even aware of what a sociopath is and what they are capable of. I wasn’t aware until I left my ex-husband. I felt very isolated and alone when I was in that relationship and anyone who has been with a sociopath understands that. I lived this parasitic lifestyle for eight years with a very dangerous, unstable, and evil person. If someone feels something is off about their partner or starts to notice a pattern of behavior that seeks to take away their freedom and sense of self through demands, threats, and manipulation, then the best thing to do is to get away immediately from that person. The Reason I Wanted To Write This Book, 'No One Kn …