How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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7 negative symptoms of sociopaths: What they don’t do

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Checklists describing the symptoms of sociopaths highlight what they do — lie, blame others, love bomb their romantic targets, pursue sex. But you should also pay attention to negative symptoms — normal human behaviors that sociopaths don’t do.One behavior that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re dealing with a sociopath is love bombing — the person is showering you with attention and affection, wants to be with you all the time, tells you how wonderful you are. Sociopaths often, although not always, do this when they’re trying to seduce a romantic partner. They can also use a modified version of the strategy in other types of relationships, such as flattering the boss at work. Ot …

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Terrorized by two sociopathic female neighbors

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I've had two female sociopaths, narcissists, or psychopaths — whichever they are, coming after me for almost 18 months.  They are simply other tenants in my apartment building and I am their "chosen one." We were never friends, in fact other than the abuse, they don't know me and vice versa.  It's been absolute mental torture to endure. They have slandered me, have had me ostracized here, lied about me, made countless police calls about me, tell others that I hurt dogs, rumor that I once "tried to strangle" a dog, that I stalk, follow, entrap, corner, harass, grab, and even was alleged to have "caused" one of them to have a fall from which she needed emergency back s …

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7 reasons why sociopaths are hot in bed

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UPDATED FOR 2024. "Best sex ever!" that's how countless Lovefraud readers have described how sociopaths are hot in bed.People have told me that they know the sociopath is bad for them, and they need to end their involvement, but they don't want to give up the sex!Other people have told me that they're afraid they'll never find another partner who is so sexually exciting!I specifically asked about sex in three Lovefraud surveys. How do people who were in romantic relationships with people whom they now believe to be sociopaths rate the sex?In the Romantic Partner Survey (2011) 75% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning.In the Female Sociopath Survey …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Female sociopath shares her experience of growing up with one and using what she learned

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Editor's note: Lovefraud has been contacted by a 27-year-old woman who has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and depression. Reading some of your questions about female sociopaths, this woman offered to share her experience so that you may gain insight and protect yourselves. She will not be posting comments.This woman says her mother is narcissistic and there is a history of psychopathy on her father's side, although she doesn't know her father's family because her parents divorced when she was young.Personally, I do feel sorry for this young woman—which would probably annoy her. The cards were stacked against her from the day she was born. She is in therapy and on m …

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4 psychological and biological reasons why you can’t accept your partner is a sociopath

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After much confusion, perhaps years of confusion, you finally realize why your relationship is so difficult. You’re dealing with a sociopath. This person has hurt, manipulated and exploited you — on purpose. So why won’t you believe it? Here are four psychological and biological reasons why you can’t accept that your partner is a sociopath.He or she is abusive to you. It might be physical, sexual or financial abuse, but certainly emotional or psychological abuse. You know this. You’ve been disappointed time and time again. So why do you still cling on, hoping the person will change?Your inability to end the involvement isn’t necessarily a failure of willpower. I’m going to explain f …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The dangers of friendship with a female predator

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the reader who posts as “Kerisee04.”How does a person know if they have engaged in a friendship with a female predator? So often it is the romantic relationships that are discussed, and usually about male sociopaths.First of all, it's important to note that if you are a male, to the female sociopath, you either a sexual target or a source of financial gain. In my experience with the female sociopath, in her mind, there is no man beyond her reach. She has sexual fantasies about all men she encounters and runs scenarios in her head to accomplish her goal. In my naive state of mind, I had no idea this particular female sociopath was after my h …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lied to myself as I became close to him again

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Ravenless Tower.” She realizes, as she wrote, that "I lied to myself."I'm going to be as concise as I can here - but like most of you the story is long. I wanted to tell it so there is a frame of reference to my posts for anyone who cares. I also wanted to get it down in writing, and out of my head. My intent is not to complain or to place blame, so much as to identify the issues that have helped to shape my choices and brought my ultimately to this board for support. The point of being here, for me, is not to hate, not to blame, but to accept responsibility and own the things in my life that need to be add …

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10 examples of the scapegoat’s isolation in the narcissistic family

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBSA toxic family operates like a cult. The head narcissists (either one parent or both) make certain that they are able to rally their troops around them, which happen to be their children. Almost always, there is one child who is never assimilated into the cult. This child is the scapegoat. From early years, this child is observed as being highly sensitive, creative, empathetic and outspoken. Because the scapegoat is not like them, the narcissists must villainize this family member to elevate themselves and feel superior. It becomes an addiction.Hence, the other children are trained on behalf of the parents to mistreat and bully the scapegoat, which …

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Typical sociopath manipulation strategies that I always hear about

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The sociopath may tell you that you’re mentally losing it. Or make you feel like everything is your fault. Or accuse you of cheating. Here’s what you need to know — none of it is about you. These are typical sociopath manipulation strategies that they use with everyone. I hear about them all the time.I talk to a lot of people about their experiences with sociopaths. Often, they tell me something outrageous, something unbelievable, something shocking that he or she has done, and I respond with, “Yeah, they all do that.”This causes two reactions in the person telling me the story. The first is shock — they can’t believe that so many people engage in the same behavior. And the second is relief — …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Looking into the eyes of a con man

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as “Eclipse.” She wrote about her experience with a sociopathic con man. I met the P at the end of 2004. We both worked out at a local gym close to my home. I had been going through a divorce for about a year. I confided to him about my 19-year marriage, of abuse. We became friends for about six months. We then became involved and were falling for each other. He told me he was in a bad relationship, and that he was married, eight months into our relationship.He told me he was trapped and was trying to get a divorce. He told me how his wife was controlling and mentally abusive to him; he was denied any aff …

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