UPDATED FOR 2026. Invariably, once we realize we've been conned by a psychopath, this person has lied to us from the very beginning, and we fell for all of it, we ask why? Why did we believe? Why did we trust? The short answer is that we did what we, as social animals, are biologically designed to do. Human beings have evolved over millennia to live in community, and trust is the glue that holds us together. I read The Moral Molecule — the source of love and prosperity, by Paul J. Zak. Zak spent 10 years researching a brain chemical called oxytocin and its role in human behavior. He says oxytocin inspires trust; trust is connected to morality; and morality is connected to the …
The narcissist’s forever war: Serial litigation
By Joanie Bentz, M.Ed., LBS, CCBP Recently, I have been working with a female client, “Elena,” whose long-time “friend” is pursuing her through the legal system in continual, calculated serial litigation. Elena and “Julia” were friends since childhood. They shared the same interests. Elena was easygoing, and Julia was quirky and frequently moody. Eventually, when Elena was happy with her life and working in a field she enjoyed, Julia began to pull away. She didn’t call as much and didn’t share information as before. Elena noticed — it was not a dramatic falling out, but a gradual shift in the relationship. Julia seemed to be unhappy that Elena was happy. Julia …
Getting over that amazing ‘chemistry’
UPDATED FOR 2026. Sooner or later, those of us who are romantically involved, or have been romantically involved, with sociopaths and other exploiters recognize that the relationship is bad for us and must end. Although we know this intellectually, often we still feel incredible attraction, even love, for the individual. How do we break the emotional attachment and get over that amazing 'chemistry'? For example, Lovefraud received the following letter: I am single, and I think I was with someone very narcissistic, if not outright sociopathic. The thing is, even though I am no longer with him (and he did not get to my finances), he broke my heart. My question is, how do you get over …