Every week, a chapter of my book,”Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, use the links at the bottom of the post.
I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.)
Chapter 58: Final Thoughts
Some women write to and fall in love with incarcerated serial killers, but most of us would never knowingly marry a sociopath. However, many wonderful, caring, intelligent, and confident women do. They don’t realize that the Prince Charming who romanced them is a brilliant manipulator and is secretly recruiting them into a private cult, from which escape will be elusive at best. It happens far more often than we imagine, because sociopaths are far more common and far better disguised than we think.
Don’t let a sociopath bring the destructive force of a tsunami into your life or into the life of someone you love. The best way out of a relationship with a sociopath is to never fall into one, or at least not to fall in too deeply. And the best way to never fall in is to recognize that sociopaths exist, camouflaged exquisitely as our soul mates, mentors, and best friends. Yet, there are imperfections in their disguises that, like water retreating from a beach before a tsunami, are warning signs of impending doom. Accept that these soulless manipulators exist and learn how to catch moments when their disguises falter and their true self is revealed. If you miss the subtle signs, you could easily have your own cautionary tale about a marriage to the devil and an unending battle for your soul and that of your children.
If you notice any parallels between my story and your life or the life of someone you love, I hope you will keep a journal or urge the other person to do so, get help from a professional who is knowledgeable about abusive relationships, and then plan an escape. For escape you must!
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Notes
Identifying names, places, events, characteristics, etc. that I discuss here and in my book have been altered to protect the identity of everyone involved.
Yes, we must try to not let the spath destroy our lives. Absolutely.
We must WIN.
We are told everyone is good, false information.
I find this one of the most difficult things to comprehend myself about a sociopath. How do you educate others when it barely can understand how a personality n like this exists? I find that my family is not as supportive as I would have liked then to be when I announced that I was thinking of divorcing him. This is even after I told them about the financialnahd emotional abuse . I find it really discouraging when this happens and then makes me doubt my own judgement.
Donna when I try and post on a forum topic, it doesn’t post and says ‘You have entered an incorrect reCAPTCHA value’. There is some sort of a glitch.
Thank you Sunnygal. I believe it is fixed
Donna thanks. it is fixed.
Escape,flee,run, use any reason/excuse/rational or not, just cut yourself loose and don’t look back. No prayers, counseling, therapy, loving will fix these people..I didn’t know what psycopaths were, for a long time. Had to read several deep books on personalities to find out..he fit the profile perfectly.
It still boggles my mind how charming and seductive they can be. I had become too complacent after dating that sociopath in 2008. I believed I was impervious to them. So when I hired a contractor to work on my house who was asking for money upfront and the thought crossed my mind that this guy might be a sociopath, I shrugged it off because I liked him and felt a connection. Ironically, the fact that I felt a connection so quickly was even a red flag for me, which I ignored. I didn’t do my due diligence and check him out carefully before hiring him. As this article says, we MUST remember that they’re out there and they come off as very believable.