I am not sure if I will continue to post each week. Many of the stories carry the same theme and I think most of you on this site know what a sociopath is capable of, how much destruction they leave in their path and how we all felt once we discovered the truth.
For me, it’s really about the road to recovery. The first and most helpful tool I was given was Martha Stout’s book The Sociopath Next Door. It helped so much to see it in writing, the same behaviors, manipulation and the different types of sociopaths. Lovefraud provides the best resource I have found to date (thank you Donna). Then it was all about acceptance. I needed to accept that my father never loved me. That one took a while, but I began to understand that “he couldn’t give me something he didn’t have”, which was love. Once I accepted this it was easy to forgive him, another key for me.
I have had other sociopaths in my life; in fact I think I was attracted to it as a result of being raised by one. Only now I recognize that uneasy feeling I get from being around someone I cannot trust. It’s like background noise, almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. Today I trust those feelings and do what I have learned from others and books. I cut my losses and move on. It has been my experience that the only option is to remove yourself from any and all unnecessary contact with a sociopath.
Someone once told me that the past is for inspiration, not limitation”¦and I believe that today. I started to focus on the things in life I was grateful for, not where I thought I was “cheated”. Experience in this life is the thing of supreme value if we are willing to learn from it and then use it to help others. It then becomes a gift. That’s how I see it today. As odd as it may sound I would not change my experience for anything. I wouldn’t want to do it again I assure you, but today I am grateful for it.
Truthspeak
Strongawoman, thank you so much for your encouraging and supportive words. I don’t “feel” courageous, at all, right now. I feel as if I’m on an express train heading for a derailment, and no way to stop it.
It’s going to go as it goes, and the singular “good” thing is that it will finally be over, I will be shed of that pig’s name, and I’ll have some idea of what my options are.
I just have to manage this, that’s all. And, I hate it AND the monkeys!!! LOL
Hugs
strongawoman
Truthy,
You are most welcome. As an observer, however, I must reiterate what I said. You do show such courage…..in bucket loads. It is so apparent in what and how you write, you see! Of course it is only natural to feel scared. It’s a huge thing that you are facing. Haven’t you said feelings aren’t facts? I totally sympathise with your situation. The “what ifs?” have tormented me many, many times. I don’t want to patronise you or try to offer advice. You sound extremely savvy to me.
I’m just going to say Bon chance, my friend.