Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Marjory18.”
When I got involved with a bad person last year I wrote in to you with my story.
I have been committed to reading stories, articles etc on your Lovefraud site.
All I can say is thank goodness for your site and the info you provide.
I had another online date recently
Signs were there.
- My mama raised me right (was told to me before)
- Super charming
- Tons of compliments
- Lots of sexual talk (on the first date?)
- We seemed to have a lot in common (really? that much)
- Heartfelt and deep conversations (on his part)
- That he studied psychology (was told that before – is that suppose to freak me out and open up?)
Anyway the list goes on and on….I was feeling uncomfortable at times especially when he wanted ME to give him same type of personal info. I did not.
Once we left he told me he would like to see me again and how much he desired me (Really?) and for me to think on getting together again.
Well I went home and 2 mornings later I GOT IT….same as before…..another potential sociopath. I say potential as I really don’t know for sure…but sure SEEMS like it.
When I went back to read his online profile…there was the one telltale sign…he writes NO DRAMA (that info stuck in my mind).
I did a lot of investigation on him (as I did before and busted the previous sociopath on everything with hard evidence – GO ME!!!).
Found some what seem to be lies and untruths on the new person. While I don’t know anything for sure this time I AGAIN will go with my gut (as I did before).
Texted him this morning and told him not interested in seeing him again (in nicer words).
So THANK YOU for all the advice you offer and steering me away from another potential sociopath as I am armed with information this time around.
Are you “too sensitive,” or is your partner a sociopath?
Marjory18 – good for you! Way to listen to your instincts!
Dear Marjory18,
May I suggest you meet new potential partners in a group setting, such as http://www.meetup.com, where you are in a gathering of like-minded people, and where you are welcome to bring a friend, who can act as an reality-checker. Some people think after a few e-mails on a dating website, that they are in a “relationship.”
You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and I am glad you are using it!
Yours truly,
Monica
Im SO glad she ‘connected the dots’ so quickly, before any further dating/involvement happened..these people work FAST..if you’re not onto them right away..chances are, he moved on quickly to his next ‘victim’..
This is Marjory 18 answering
Thank you Monica – I did check into meetup groups after this. As for regretfully’s note – when i checked the dating website again after this incident the 5’10 African American man that I had a date with was now a 6’3″ Caucasian man. WHAT? Same profile name and same information. That is how quickly they move on.
They lie put out multiple profiles your not alone. If u know what to look for
The guy I met online was a teacher ..hugh persuaded me. Seen me twice every weekend in June. Before the 3rd date thru a tantrum on the cost of baseball tickets. We did not go text me next day. Dumped me then sent a email making it my fault for not going along with his agenda. I believe also he got mad because I did not bed him.. i was in Shock. The things he said in email was abuse. Now hes giving me silent treatment. Will not answer calls etc. Went ghost for two weeks. I emailed him told him never contact me. I blocked him from social media. Hopefully he did not look at my Facebook. I swore off online dating. It does not work. These guys are personality disorder traits.. this is the third guy. I had to get rid of I saw sign. Remember what Donna Anderson’s says. The info I received. These guys were so charismatic. Charming. I think hugh is now seeing someone else he also was a widower. Wife died last year. He gave me some crap about he think hes dating too fast. I think he was dating on his wife while she was I’ll. His whole metamorphosis changed. In a year. Lost weight. Change everything about him. Now he looks like a man who cant wait to get out there. His wife look very haggard. Not because she was I’ll. He looked good in the pictures on Facebook. Red flag.
On you tube a lot of women talk about being ghosted the behaviors of these men.. making them feel worthless. Men leaving relationship after they get what they want. They just don’t care. It’s a lot of these predators out there I wonder if there’s a narc club we dont know about.lol