According to new research, people who score highly on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory questionnaire had more friends on Facebook, tagged themselves more often and updated their newsfeeds more regularly.
Read Facebook’s ‘dark side’: study finds link to socially aggressive narcissism, on Guardian.co.uk.
Link sent by a Lovefraud reader.
IMconfused
Skylar,
I attempted to get a Gmail…but it seemed to need my current email address (that he set up) for confirmation.
If I go to the library, I can look things up, but I think ant emails would be visible by him…he’s a computer programmer with clients whose computer system he controls from his home office. So, if possible, he would figure out what I’m doing.
He probably knows what I’m doing on LF, but I simply don’t care…assume that means I’m slowly rebelling.
skylar
http://www.hushmail.com/services/hushmail/features/
There are many other free email types that don’t ask you for a forwarding email address. google free email accounts.
gmail doesn’t always ask you for an email address, sometimes it asks you for a cellphone number. You can get a pre-paid cell first and then get the gmail account. Or you can get a different free email account and then go to gmail, if you still prefer gmail for whatever reason. (it stores alot of stuff)
imconfused, homeless people manage to have cellphones and email. You need to get therapy to understand why you feel so helpless. I can relate, I know what it’s like to be beaten down – my spath was poisoning me so I was too sick to rebel. But I still did. I still controlled some aspects of my life. What does he control you with? deep down, why can’t you leave him?
IMconfused
skylar,
Interesting question.
The strange thing is that I seem to accidentially discover what he has done to manipulate me.
If I hadn’t needed to activate a credit card I still would not know about it. (He usually activates cards and then hands them to me.)
I think I’m still trying to figure this whole controlling business out. I need to figure out what all is broken…need to know what all needs fixing.
skylar
IMconfused,
it sounds like you have no issue with abdicating responsibility for your life to this man. You don’t even notice what he’s done until it pops up by accident because you aren’t taking control of your life.
Again, I can relate, somewhat. I allowed my spath to make decisions that I shouldn’t have too. Not to that extent but then we all have our different boundaries.
That said, I can tell you now that it is WRONG for you to give up control of your life to someone else. This life was given to you by God and you are, in essence, saying that you don’t think you can handle it.
Jesus spoke of the parable of the 3 servants, each who were given talents by their master before he went on a journey.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/03/the-parable-of-the-talents/
You may know the story, but this link has some interesting commentary on it.
The master kicked out the servant who had been afraid of losing his talents so he had buried them. When the master came back he had exactly what the master had given him – no more, no less. The master called him worthless and lazy and faithless.
I’m not calling you all those things, just calling you fearful. And I do understand that fear, the only way around it is to take a leap of faith – in yourself.
BTW, what happened to me was that I was FORCED to take that leap of faith. And that is what happens eventually to those that survive a spath. We get pushed until we have to choose, life or death.
My spath was literally going to kill me and make it look like suicide. He was telling everyone that I was suicidal, drug addicted etc… so I know what he was planning. But other spaths, like my uncle, kill you slowly with disease. My aunt died of cancer but everyone knows it was a broken heart and humiliation. It doesn’t even matter if you live to a ripe old age, because as long as you allow him to dictate your life, you aren’t actually alive. How long will you wait to start breathing?
Bob Wyman
Ox Drover, check out tineye.com Link to or upload a photo and it will find that person on other websites (if they are). Invaluable for checking out people on dating sites. That pretty woman or handsome guy photo will no doubt turn up with different names on different sites etc… the dating site already has your membership fee…
callmeathena
Milo,
Hahahaha! Backspath!
Athena
MiLo
Thanks Athena,
Sometimes you have to think outside the box to come up with good backspaths.
Whenever she applies for any credit, goes to a check cashing place, tries to get a cell phone, etc., she always puts down our name as a contact person, reference. SO ofcourse WHEN she doesn’t pay or keep her contract, we get all the credit collection agencies calling US.
I go through her “friends” from myspace and FB and look up their phone numbers. I keep a list next to my phone. When the collection agency calls, I am very nice and polite to them and give them my list of phone numbers. I tell them I am SURE these people are in touch with her, so don’t give up. I also include her BF and ALL his relatives.
Think outside the box…..
anam cara
I’m just posting today as I think about things.
Last Sept 2011 spathzilla came over to UK from Oz, charm itself to wider family who don’t know “IT”. I hadn’t found LF yet and didn’t know “IT” either. I was/am traumatised by her actions over the previous 18 mths. I didn’t want anything to do with her; NC..etc. I was trying to make sense of things. She phoned me to meet for lunch and I didn’t know what to do. I needed time to think and said I’d call her back. I met her the next day (took the bait) thinking we would discuss what had happened and why; maybe some apologies……….NO! Instead “you have to try and move on!” I said to her “you would like that and to for me to pretend nothing happened.” She said “you’re an adult now!” I said “you are selfish and controlling” and saw the “subtle smirk” of success on her lips. This I now realise is her MISSION STATEMENT and I had just validated her.
Soon after, I received her e-mail telling me I am mentally ill, much worse than she first thought. I must get help ASAP.
PRIMING/SLIMING next, then DEVALUE/DISCARD
anam cara
LF is an education in s/paths SOP. Perhaps we learn the lessons as we are able to absorb them, but such a painful journey.
Spirit40
They always project ..mine wanted me to go on antidrpressants and insisted we needed a gun for protection he borrowed a neighbors old one shotgun it was broken anyhow and ancient…he was in AA and I wasnt allowed to go. To any meetings even if they were different Im codependent…his narcissistic supply could be taken if someone paid attention to me