How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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  1. Sebbo_Ricadonna

    I was dumped by sociopathic girlfriend 3 months ago.
    I feel so bad. I feel heartbroken. She left me cold.
    She also threatened me with a restraining order should i contact her again. I am so lost, so jaded, so disilusioned. It was a classic case of “idealize, devalue and discard”. She loved me so much at first, showering me with attention. Then when the money ran out I was devalued as a human being. She referred to me as “fools gold” and called me a “poor porper”. Then at the very end, she took all my offers of good will (restaurant meals, perfume etc) and then dumped me cold. I feel like an abosolute wreck and I have no chance of ever “settling the score” because of the threat of a restraining order. Sometimes you just cant win and its better to cut our losses and just leave this horrible twisted sociopaths to rot in their own diluded world of lies, deception, idiolization, devaluation and discarding others on superficial matters relating to money, sex and power. Assholes – ALL OF THEM.

  2. jeannie812

    “fools gold”. I never even thought to call my ex that. It never occurred to me.

    I have always cut my losses. Never thought about winning one over.

    I did get Jim’s crock pot. But, he did leave it at my house for months before I broke up with him.

    To this day he claims he has valuables over here.

    To Sebbo_Ricadonna it is hard for a long time. I just kept plugging forward. I thought I would never get over the hurt. I finally got over him.

    Even though I still hate. But at least I don’t have those emotions that could tempt me to go back.

  3. Ox Drover

    Jeannie,

    VALUABLE CROCK POT!!!! Maybe he thinks it is the pot at the end of the rainbow, filled with GOLD—yea, FOOL’s GOLD! LOL ROTFLMAO That’s a good one.

    So how is it your fault that he left his wheel barrow in her yard? LOL

  4. Sebbo_Ricadonna

    Jeannie

    I have read a lot of articles here about leaving the sociopath.
    But what if the sociopath LEAVES you?

    Thats my problem at the moment.
    Everyone is telling me it is a “blessing” and a “lucky escape”
    but not really because i feel in my mind that she has
    dumped me cold, without explanation and without feeling.
    It is as though she has shot me with a gun point blank in the face, and then threatened me with a restraining order should i seek urgent medical attention. ITs that bad and I dont want to under-estimate my feelings of hurt, rejection and loss.

    She has cut me off.
    Sure its GREAT to have her out of my life,
    but she’s done it on HER terms and that makes me
    feel sick. Yes, no contact is good but she’s the one
    controlling the strings. Shes the one who is now
    telling others that she is “rarer than rare” and even
    going to the extent of bad mouthing me saying that
    I was the narcissist when clearly SHE was.

    I am so gutted by this experience.
    I just feel hopeless.

  5. Truthspeak

    Sebbo…..I type this with the most heartfelt, sincere, and unconditional love: stop it. Just, stop it.

    Are you still breathing? Is your body still ingesting food and eliminating waste? Did you wake up this morning and see that your name was NOT in the list of Obituaries? Do you still have a job? Do you still have a roof over your head? Do you still have all of your fingers and toes? If you can answer, “Yes,” to ANY of these questions, then you are NOT “gutted,” nor are you “hopeless,” though you may FEEL that you are.

    Remember: FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS.

    Brightest healing blessings to you

  7. kim frederick

    Sebbo, It is my opinion that YOU have been NCed. The fact that THIS is what bothers you most, bothers me. It is not a good sign. It speaks to your need to have the last word, and a desire to pull the strings. The best think you can do for yourself, at this point is to accept that you are powerless, and that she has made her decision. I know how hard it is, but you need to respect that, and move on. Work on those things in yourself that attracted this kind of woman, and ask yourself what it was that attracted you to her.

  8. kim frederick

    A crock pot. LOL. That’s a metaphor for the WTF bucket, isn’t it? Love it.
    Now he doesn’t have a crockpot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of. Ha.

  9. slimone

    Sebbo,

    I understand your feelings. It is terrible to be completely cut off without any ability to have closure, or even settle the score. But the truth of the matter is THAT is what malignant narcissists DO. It is the real hard cold truth. There is NOTHING to be done about it.

    They go on their merry way, and we are left with all the fallout, humiliation, shame, and feelings of despair. That is also the truth of it.

    The only way out of these feelings, it directly THROUGH them. They are now yours to figure out what to do with. SHE has nothing, now, to do with your situation.

    Cold, huh? It’s horrible. And lonely. And makes all of us angry as hell when it happens.

    You will absolutely have to let go of settling the score, having a meaningful exchange with her, caring what other people think about you (and her), trying to get everyone to see it from your perspective.

    You will require support from people who already know what this is all about (like from people here). You will need to understand what was happening for you that made her appear so attractive. You will need to re, and re-read, articles here, until knowledge is MORE important to you than getting even with her. You will need to seek professional attention if you cannot cope with this betrayal on your own, or if you get depressed and cannot keep your life on track.

    This is YOUR life Sebbo. Take back your power. Turn your back on her. She used and dumped you. Fuck her.

    Slim

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