Sadists and narcissists — similarities and differences

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS

Sadists and narcissists — are they the same? Pathological personalities can overlap each other with their complexities and commonalities. Over the years, definitive conclusions as to whether a sadist is a narcissist, and vice-versa, have been lacking and debate has been ongoing.

A person can be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, which is a cluster B disorder according to the DSM V. This is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. However, the opposite is true for a sadist, at least presently. There is no official diagnosis of sadism.

Sadism was once referred to as Sadistic Personality Disorder (SPD) in the DSM III-TR, but it was removed.  Over the years, countless mental health professionals considered this removal a mistake and to this day continue to lobby for its reinstatement. Some continue to treat their patients as if they were formally diagnosed with this disorder.

Although Sadistic Personality Disorder is still considered a legitimate pathological disorder by many health professionals, Unspecified Personality Disorder is now used by mental health professionals in diagnosing someone with sadism.

Sadism’s roots

Sadism was named after the Marquis de Sade, an 18th century Libertine writer who spent most of his life in jail due to his taste for pedophilia, sodomy, torture, and murder. His writings were an account of his depraved preferences and how they brought him pleasure. He ended his own life in an asylum.

Read more: Key symptoms of psychopaths

Richard von Krafft-Ebing coined the term sadism in the late 19th century, and it was defined as “sexual pleasure derived through inflicting pain and suffering on others.” However, with time the definition of sadism evolved to include “nonsexual enjoyment derived from sadistic acts.”

Inflicting suffering could include the following:

• Demeaning/insulting others in public and administering harsh discipline
• Deriving pleasure from harming animals or physically and psychologically harming people
• Demanding compliance through terrorizing and harassing
• Closely following a spouse, significant other or family members to restrict freedom of movement
• Being inordinately focused on violence, gore, torture and death

Everyday sadism

“Everyday sadism” is what psychologists call a milder form of sadism, which is taking pleasure in another person’s pain or misfortune. Examples would be watching a couple fight in public or hiding someone’s keys when they are in a hurry just to see them frantically try to find them. Everyday sadists are more likely, according to a Canadian study entitled Behavioral Confirmation of Everyday Sadism, to engage in stalking and bullying behaviors as well as sexual aggression.

So, it seems that sadism, like narcissism, operates on a spectrum. The milder form of sadism could include enjoying violent movies and videogames. The more severe form could include various forms of overt and covert bullying and physical harm, which points to more antisocial behaviors. We also can see a normalized form of everyday sadism when watching a boxing match or other spectator sports that include physical harm.

What we are learning is that there are different motivations behind the behaviors of a narcissist and a sadist. If we explore the reasoning behind their callous disregard of the human condition, we will notice that they can behave in similar ways, but they are driven by different goals.

Sadistic strategies of narcissists

Narcissists can often be described as sadistic due to their lack of empathy and remorse, and narcissists may use sadistic tactics to gain their source of supply. That does not necessarily indicate that they would be diagnosed with sadistic personality disorder.

Their toolbox of approaches in exploiting their targets can include sadistic behaviors such as bullying, physical harm and gaslighting. But narcissists can also use behaviors that are common for people who are dating or showing affection for friends and family, such as frequent calls.

Charming behaviors, such as “love bombing,” are used aggressively to gain their supply. Then narcissists use strategies such as intermittent reinforcement to keep the target hooked and addicted to the emotional roller coaster.

Eventually, unsuspecting targets are betrayed and left abandoned, sometimes harassed by the narcissists indefinitely as punishment for exposing them, reflecting the narcissist’s inner state of turmoil and self-loathing.

Different end goals

Narcissists have a reason, or a goal, in behaving the way they do. They need to feed their addiction for supply, whether it is admiration, sex, drugs, or power.  Gaining supply is their pleasure, but the way they gain that supply is not necessarily the pleasure.

Sadists, on the other hand, inflict pain on others for amusement only. Therefore, it is possible that sadism can operate without narcissism. There may be times that narcissists find it pleasurable that their targets suffer, identifying them as “sadistic narcissists.” The very act of sadism generates narcissist supply. Sadists are masters of abuse and abuse by proxy, which creates a more interesting situation for them to enjoy due to more complex human involvement.

Learn more: What did they want? Psychopaths, antisocial and other exploiters in romantic relationships

For instance, an ex-girlfriend may lie to police about her former boyfriend and reports that he abused her. The need to defend his good name, which may cause him to experience emotional anguish and loss of finances, is entertaining for the ex-girlfriend, and she may even find it hilarious knowing that she is not even abusing him directly. Sadists crave entertainment through another person’s demise, and they will stoop to any debased act if it ensures that the pleasure will escalate each time.

Treatment of sadism vs. narcissism

Cases of sadistic behavior most often require long-term behavioral therapy to restructure/redirect negative thoughts about harming others and reducing sadistic desires. Talk therapy which would include emotional processing and validation of fears and anxieties surrounding inordinate focus on abuse can be facilitated by the mental health professional along with either long-term or short-term medication management as needed.

On the other hand, most narcissists do not respond to traditional therapies and healing modalities because they do not feel they have a problem or refuse to admit it. Sadists have a better chance at improving their behaviors than narcissists if they are willing to do the work and maintain it in the long run.