By | March 15, 2011 340 Comments

A spath behind every bush

I wrote an article not long ago about settling on a name for the personality disorder that we spend our time here talking about. I suggested using “sociopath” as a general term for exploitative people. Many of us have taken to shortening this term to “spath.”

Well, a Lovefraud reader “Justdreamin” informs us that “spath” is taken. She saw it on a flower pot, and sent us the photos.

It turns out that “spath” is a shortened version of “spathiphyllum,” which is the botanical name for the peace lilly, a common houseplant.

We might have to come up with a new name. If I were a beautiful peace lily, I wouldn’t want to share a name with the nasty predators.

Comment on this article

Please Login to comment
Notify of

While shopping, I noticed a lovely display of Peace Lilies, and thought, how nice and how beautiful, and how I would like to have one in my home. Then, upon closer inspection of the label, I found that (gasp) the beautiful lily is really a “spath”!! Oh no, they are everywhere!!

I thought this was so funny and ironic I laughed out loud at the store.

Thanks for sharing my pictures Donna!


Hahaha what a funny short article. Donna, thanks for disclousing this important information. Despite it’s beauty i’ll be on guard of this plant just in case my cat purges with it and becomes more bad than she already is.

lesson learned


OMG!! HILARIOUS LOL!!! And to see spath written on the side of that flower pot is JUST TOO MUCH!!!

JD, hilarious. I would have LOL’d at the store too.

Thanks for sharing this!! Made my day!!


lesson learned



Oh MY humor is SO good for the SOUL!



LL, i’m going to look for the vegetable monster. If i find it I’ll give it to my mother for her collection. If i see it devours the other plants i’ll tell her it was psychopathic and i’ll get rid of it….and that i wanted to see if it was a predatory plant 😀

lesson learned



Ox Drover

Hens wanted a thread to just be silly on, and I think this one qualifies for giving us a good laugh! Thanks Donna! and Thanks just dreamin!!!

lesson learned

I can’t help but LOL when I see that potted plant

Didn’t someone come up with doing “potted Plant” with spaths? LOL




LL, sure! I’ll ask in the market if they know that plant. If i get one i’ll say what happens. I think after all i could give it to my Laila, to see which is more predator….She’s not very angel you know…who knows who would win.
She didn’t realize it but the psycho was tented of hurting her once when she was bitting him. I think it’s fair my baby kills a spath.


wonder how much fertilizer it needs?


Uf surely a lot of it, and of different type or the flowers won’t have any erection.


Donna and Just dreamin’, THANKS FOR THE HUMOR!!
🙂 brings a whole new meaning to that time honored lf phrase: ‘potted plant’.

Ox Drover

Probably needs a lot of BS to fertilize it! LOL

Ox Drover


How did the slinky little black dress do at your to-do? I haven’t heard on the blog from EB in several days now I’m kind of getting concerned about her…just hope she is still moving and getting rid of things, not et by the bar!

Hope you are doing well too! Nothing exciting going on here, just still spring cleaning! But making progress…son D repaired some of the earthquake damage here, VERY minor, but from the 4.7 we had there were some cracks in the plaster and doors wouldn’t close right and latch. Had to move one latch hole 1/2 inch to get it to work so the door would latch closed.


might as well put this here.
okay, deep breath.

i am day 14 with little sleep due to the schedule of my db new neighbour and his sweet but lonely dog. i am at my limit.

my conference is this weekend. i am tired tired tired.

when i have some time i want to talk with you all – i need to come up with a strategy to deal with the db neighbour, who is abusive and seemingly without a care as to the harm he inflicts on others.

i haven’t been to neurofeedback for a few weeks – they moved into new offices (ie newly painted, etc. which i cannot be exposed to)

all of this: I am on edge.

i did something really wild an dout of control today. the worst thing in the world for me, is someone trying to control me….or my being controlled by circumstances – and i am dealing with a lot of that right now….

i was at the grocery store – i was so tired, i was messing up at work, so i went out to get some gorceries and get my hair cut for this weekend.

i bought something that had a tear in it. under the advice of the clerk i i went and replaced it after i paid for my groceries.

i go waltzing out of the store and a young woman runs after me and tells me i am under arrest. i ask her for her badge, she says it’s in the store, i ask, ‘ are you a cop’, she says no. I ask her what she is, and seh tells me she is a loss prevention officer, and demands i go into the store with her. I tell her to get stuffed. I am late for an appt. and she has not ID. She tells me she is going to call the cops. I say, for what, she says, resisting arrest. I say, well you don’t have any ID, so i am leaving now, and you can follow me to my appt if you want.

long story short. i went to my appt. came back, talked to the clerk that asked ME to replace the item. Told her to talk to the young woman. The young woman is still trying to intimidate me and get me to comply. Didn’t work. I told them it was THERE problem – their procedures were the problem and that i was not going into the office, i was not talking to the cops, and they could just bloody well deal with it. And i left.

Now, why on earth did i fight with this young woman? Why did i not take the few minutes… i am tired, exhausted, pissed off, under pressure…..and she had no ID (it is my right to refuse to talk to her.)

but still. yes, i had an appt, i would miss, but really….why did i fight with her?

because she tried to get me to ‘comply’ and i am fucking SICK of this kind of bullying.

i am not proud of this. i couldn’t turn off my rage. i was furious.
but i somehow think her day was shittier than mine.

i have turned into my father and sister….they act like this all the time – father is PROUD of acting like this, and sister – well, i don’t think she can stop herself to tell you the truth. She would need lots of help to get to the point where she could.

so at 50+ i have finally become like those people i tired so hard not to be like.

this all happened 2 hours ago. I am finally calmed down, but i wouldn’t want to speak with anyone – i have a short fuse right now. I am looking forward to spending some time in nature next week, and putting together a strategy to deal with the db upstairs. so tired….

that rent a cop….running after me, and me saying, ‘follow me to my appt….’ i was unreasonable. But, i also had a right to refuse. She tried all her strong arm crap, and i just got furious and refused.



Hi oxy – earthquake damage! glad it was very minor.
my blakc dress isn’t slinky – classic and at the knee – but it’s sexy because of it – think 1960’s italian. 🙂

my do is this weekend. lots going on here – mostly sleep deprivation, and furiousness. I really need a break, and some sleep. I have taken to going to bed really early – tonight i will go to bed around 9 pm to try to get enough sleep before the douchebag and his dog wake me at 4.


Oxy, I think the bear is probably good – it would likely be sonny who would be causing problems for EB. isn’t that sad…the wildlife is safer than the blood born. but, look who i am saying this to….

Ox Drover

Dear One/Joy

You know you acted like an ass today, you are right about that…but IN SPITE OF THAT YOU SOUNDED SANE….tired but SANE. NO!!!!! you are NOT like your father or your sister and I have seen tremendous progress that you have made here lately and believe it or not, today wasn’t that bad…I would have hit the witch! LOL Which would have been more inappropriate cause I’d be in jail!

SLEEP DEPRIVATION makes one crazy–but in spite of that, you are not crazy. You sound TIRED.

TIRED is okay, and CRANKY is okay…you had a right to be both tired and cranky, so get over it okay! Get some sleep if you can and some how there has to be a way to stop this creep and his pitiful pooch from waking you up besides something criminal. LOL (((hugs))))



I loved your response to the loss prevention officer, not having a problem with how you handled it.


How ironic to my story. When I first moved to Illinois from
Florida, I lived with my spath and his family for the first few months I was up here. Needless to say, the first two weeks were fine (part of the seduction phase). But, after that..hello RED FLAGS. i walked into the bathroom and his sister was doing his hair…both were naked and her boobs were in his face..literally. When I said something about it, they both threw accusations at me, diverted the attention off of them and on to me and I was left standing there thinking there was something wrong with me for thinking anything.
After a few more of these episodes and his sister spitting on me (these are adults mind you in their 20’s), I told spath I was getting an apt and he could either come with me or not. Well, we ending up renting an apt in the same town. We had no furniture. Just our bed and some dishes. We had a little 3 tier book shelf that held our coffee pot and the only thing in our living room that I bought to put in front of the bay window…a PEACE LILY. We took a picture in front of it. I wish I had it to share. LOL. Oh if I would have only known then. I married him shorly after that. Had 2 kids. Baught a house. Lived in a fog. Got tired of the Fog, the lies, the deceit, abuse. I divorced the spath. He wont go away. He has manipulated the court system. Bribed 2 evaluators. Continues to make my life a living hell. The Peace Lily died years ago. Should have been a sign…When does it end.

Ox Drover

Dear HGG,

It ends when they either go away or when you or they die….or maybe when you hide out deep enough that they can’t find you.

Yea, sounds like the peace lily was a “sign” all right! LOL


Oh. And I moved to Illinois under the impression that spath and I were going to move bak to Florida…where all of my support is. Major lesson learned. If they want you bad enough, they will come to where you are. He never had any intention of moving from his hometown..he had too many people tricked. 2 more years and I will never have to speak to him again. He puts on the “I’m such a great guy” act. Does anybody else see thru his crapppp or am I the only one.


bluejay and oxy – thanks. 🙂

I have been such a polite citizen most of my life, subversive, but usually quite polite to power. But no longer gonna put up with bullies, it seems.

nothing wrong with my refusal, just my rage. i don’t want to fight everything. It’s the PTSD, it’s being fed up, it’s being tooo tired.

I am going to go dry my hair, put my ear plugs in and hit the sack @ 9 pm…goodness.

thanks again, you both made me laugh and lighten up a bit.
night night.

Ox Drover

Goodnite One/Joy, you aren’t crazy, just keep saying that and use your ear plugs. (((hugs))))

lesson learned

((((((((((((( One! ))))))))))))))))))))))

Hang in there hard workin woman!! YOU DESERVE SOME REST WHEN THIS IS DONE!

Don’t blame you at all. I think Ox is right, I would have smacked this woman. You did a lot better than I would have LOL!

Talk to you soon and good luck this weekend!!




Sleep well! Hopefully, a solution will come to you (in the days ahead) concerning your troublesome, annoying neighbor. I’m off to bed too.


Donna That is funny thanks for sharing. I bought a snake plant today at the home depot, some folks call them ‘mother in-law-tounge plants’ there are all kind’s ‘pretty plant’s that come in ‘ugly pot’s’, some of the pot’s are cracked, some have hole’s in them, just throw away the pot with the wierd label and repot them in your own pretty pot, as for the xspath he looked pretty but his pot was cracked, oh I take that back, he didnt have a pot to piss in, he was just pretty, but pretty is as pretty does….
Onestep – Sorry you was cranky today, I cussed out one of those automated recording robot’s today, she just kept on giving me option’s but none that had anything to do with what I needed, so I screamed “give me a f–ing real operator” …..!


I’ve done that, swore at the automated operater!

Just went outside to look at the moon, it’s nice.
I can’t wait for the super moon. In yoga the moon
is called “chandra” and it is beautiful.

Ox Drover

Hens, darling you might as well have been cussing a psychopath for all the good it did—cussing a recording! LOL ROTFLMAO yea, right! That’s a great idea! LOL

Ox Drover

ps, you know Hens, cracked pots let the light shine in!


Ana I love the moon – I will be dancing around a fire that nite with my war paint on, me and bigfoot….
Ox Your a crack pot….I am speechless~!


There is a yoga practice called “Chandra Namaskar” The moon salute! I’ll be doing that and dedicating it to all people who’ve suffered cause of a spath. Then, I will pray that all spaths MELT when the supermoon is at it’s fullest.


Ana – Remember when I mentioned the supermoon here on the blog? and I said there would be increased earthquake activity? Well the very next morning – JAPAN~!
Spath’s dont melt they just keep going and going…let’s just pray they go impotent…..



Tomorrow’s a new day, good things can happen. You stood up for yourself in a way I wish I could most of the time. If you feel badly about it you could go and appologize to the rent a cop/security girl. I don’t think you need to though.

You are not your father, do you think he would even reflect on his behavior for a minute? Nope, didn’t think so. That is the HUGE difference between us and them, we have guilt and a conscience, they don’t.


YIKES! Please don’t make anymore predictions!
“Please God, make them impotent….lol


Eva –

“I’ll ask in the market if they know that plant. If i get one i’ll say what happens. I think after all i could give it to my Laila, to see which is more predator”.”

EVA, DON’T!!!!! Spathiphyllums are poisonous to cats and dogs (and probably a good many more animals).

That’s part of why this article is so apt, in my opinion.

Peace lillies promise peace and tranquillity but they are actually spaths (if you read the label properly and don’t get sucked in by the nice generic nickname and the pretty looks of the plant) and can be deadly if ingested. Peace lillies are the ultimate “potted plant” – to be ignored and not fooled by….

(On a much more serious note, these plants are fantastic indoor plants because they act as natural air filters. Part of their popularity is that they are usually quite hardy and difficult to kill – so I dunno what YOU did hgg522!!!!??? : ) – as well as being a healthy thing to have in your home)


haha, that’s not something you see everyday!
i got one… how about dumbpath.
i think it fits.


Aussie, Yes it makes sense that a spath would be poisonous!

And when you first see it, it looks so beautiful. But isn’t the peace lily the flower you see most at funeral homes? For some reason, it always seems to evoke the idea of death for me. It’s the flower I’ve seen people buried with in bad movies.

So in those ways it seems apt to call it a spath. It has it all, charm, pity and bad drama. LOL.


Hi dancing
we’re the last ones up tonight. What’up?


Hey guys, i’m still alive!!!
Got the shiat scared out of me tonight…..HOLY CRAPIOLI!!!!!

I was off in the best-solid sleep ever, just got to sleep……and Holly goes APESHIT…..apeshit in a way she never does….woke me right up….into a terrified freeze.
She barrells over to the bedroom door, barking her head off….climbing up the door and sniffing under it.
Unusual behavior…….and then I hear the pounding on the front door. It was shaking and pounding.
I called 911….because attorney was notified that spath has/is moving back to this area…..and it’s put me ‘slightly’ on edge.
(got motions in the court and the judge should be signing the deed SOON, as he hasn’t cooperated).
So……I’m laying there……remote control in hand, scared to turn on a light….(go figure)…..for what seemed like an eternity…..waiting for someone to enter my bedroom….for what-to be greeted by the ‘ever so deadly remote control’????
I was breathing so heavily the 911 operator couldn’t understand me……she asked me if I had been harassed lately or if the spath was in town…..(yep, they know the routine).
I told her I wasn’t sure if he was here but I also had a bear around…….BUT SOMETHING WAS DEFINATELY EITHER IN my house……or close to it.
She told me to stay put and take breaths……
She stayed on the phone with me until cops got here…quick.
The noise continued……and I hear the floor creeking…..I’m thinking….OMG….I’m a dead woman and the cops are outside.
(remote control AND a rock candle holder now in hand).

She then announces to me……it’s a bear EB.
I said… it in the house??????
She said NO…….he’s outside.
OMG…..the relief!!!!!
I opened the bedroom door to the empty living room and went down the stairs……..get to the front door and peep out the blinds……and the fucker is right there, standing at the bottom of my front porch steps… the cops are on the other side of the house.
I banged and banged my metal heater and the window to make noise……didn’t phase him. I looked around, put holly in the bedroom and picked up this bent wood basket table….opened the front door and hucked it at him.
He ran off……I went into Jr’s bedroom opened the window and hucked Jr’s books out at him……(afterall….he doesn’t read them anyways) He took off.
The cops come to the front door asked me to go to the other door.
They said, it was a bear….and they scared him off. (In reality, they scared him to the other side of house)……..
I bought these foam and fabric draft stoppers in the fall……the fucker was tugging on them ripping the foam to shreds……..hence the front door banging and shaking……

Yep…….I see a fish and game bear trap sitting right next to the real estate sign in front of the house tomorrow.
That shouldn’t deter any buyers right??????

I realize….my reaction……..Knowing the bear is around nightly for months……My mind is still VERY concerned over spath.
I hear the front door banging, the dog goes bizerk……..and I go all PTSD.
I was a pathetic – fear layden, tearful and terrified voice on the other end of the line with the 911 operator…….
Once I KNEW it was the bear……and he was outside….I was okay…..opened up that bedroom door right away…..even opened up the front door- 5 feet away from the bear……to huck something at him.

DANG……I need to go get myself a spath plant!!!!!


EB –

At least you hsvern’t been EATEN by the bear! That’s what we were starting to worry about…. and not without cause, it would seem! When will you be right out and in at your new place?


One….I think you responded just fine girl!!!!
At least you didin’t huck a wicker basket table at her OR FREEZE!!!!!!
I attempted to return 2 portable heaters, one that was making wierd noise and smelled… didn’t want either….that I purchased in December. They wouldn’t returne them becuase it was beyond 30 days. I gave them shit for not standing by their products…..and went into the store with my heaters to pick up some curtain rings.
As I purchased the rings…..the same sales hitler came over to the cashier and wispered to her……she didn’t buy BOTH of those heaters…..I looked up at her….like REALLY???? You just HAD MY RECEIPT!!! I said…….do you wish to see my receipt….and she said YES…..
I got my biatch on too……
I’ts not nice to be accused of stealing

Hens……yeah……stop those predictions NOW!!!!
I may have to dance with you on freak moon night from INSIDE!!!! Just know…..i’ll be there!

Oxy……earthquake damage at your place? What rock have I been under?

The move is slowing down……I did get an offer on the house, waiting for the counter to counter….
Been spending time over at the new place….getting organized. Hanging drapes, shelving, organizing closets…..hanging pics and my treasures.
I still got so much SHIT! I’ll need to do round two CL get rid of action.
How can one get rid of so much stuff…….and still have so much!
The one question I keep asking myself………Was it really such a good thing getting EVERYTHING in the divorce?


I slowed the move down, because the mtg. lender requires you occupy the home in order to do a shortsale.
So……to play by the rules…..I’m occupying the mostly ’empty’
BUT…..I may have an ‘out’ if they ever listened to the 911 tape and heard how terrified I must have sounded.

If I can come to an agreement with a buyer…..and in 90 days (or up to 8 months) the lender agrees on the purchase price….then it will close in 60 days.
OR… any given time they can slap a sale date on my door and the house will be sold at auction and i’m out in 15-30 days.
OR……in 2 weeks, if this offer doesn’t materialize….I can apply for a deed in Lieu of foreclosure.

It’s all a waiting game……a fucked up, life changing GAME!!!!!!

But yes I am okay……I’d still rather have the bear over the spath anyday!!!!


Hey Hey Hey Erin Bee – I have missed ya girlie ~! Why didnt you just point your remote control at the bear and change him into Tom Cruise?……ha glad your OK…..


On another thought – I dont remember the actual day/date my X left that last and final time, but I remember my clematis vine’s were just beginning to bloom, so it is officially three years now – oh well……… to work.


Donna, Thanks. We needed this comic relief! Sometimes I see a spath behind every bush too since the…spath.


Claudia, it happens the same to me. A spath! Spath, spath! Another one there!
One individual has even told me i’m a psychiatric case… 😀

I see spaths….


if i find the plant i’ll give to my Laila. They’re resistant plants, aren’t they?…..

Ox Drover

Derar EB, Glad you are safe girl, but please don’t think that bear can’t BREAK INTO your house…they can. He got rewarded for breaking in once with food, so he is ALWAYS gonna keep coming back to find more….intermittent reward training at its best and they are smart like that. NEVER GIVE UP!

Yea, the natural gas drillers put two “injection wells” for waste water here in the area, drilled into a previously UNKNOWN FAULT and the earthquakes started…got one at 4.7 and FELT IT and got some cracks in the sheet rock and my bedroom door frame shifted a half inch so the latch wouldn’t catch in the hole. had to putty in the hole, and then re-drill it so the door would latch. A locked hollow core door ain’t much, but I do sleep with it closed and locked—and baby, I have more than a REMOTE CONTROL to point in the directions of noises. If that sucker had been at MY house, I’d have tossed enough “stuff” at him that I’d be at the taxidermy office this morning telling them how I wanted his hide mounted. Anyway, glad you are safe!!!!

Yea, having to “stay” at the house sounds like a pain in the butt, but part of it is the insurance…a house that is vacant for more than 30 days or unoccupied more than 30 days can’t be insured. I came up against that in my rental units so if I had one difficult to rent I tried to make sure I got a renter in there before the 30 days was up.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you that you make a GOOD sale and end up with some money out of it. Glad to have you back GF, WE MISS YOU WHEN YOU’RE GONE!!!!


One Step,
Serious way to draw your boundaries with that fake cop. Did you get the feeling she was a spath? (not the plant tiype).
I’m proud of you.

Next step: the loud neighbor. But wait til you job is over so you can focus your energies.

Lovefraud is being upgraded. Comments and forum posts are temporarily disabled. Dismiss

Send this to a friend