I wrote an article not long ago about settling on a name for the personality disorder that we spend our time here talking about. I suggested using “sociopath” as a general term for exploitative people. Many of us have taken to shortening this term to “spath.”
Well, a Lovefraud reader “Justdreamin” informs us that “spath” is taken. She saw it on a flower pot, and sent us the photos.
It turns out that “spath” is a shortened version of “spathiphyllum,” which is the botanical name for the peace lilly, a common houseplant.
We might have to come up with a new name. If I were a beautiful peace lily, I wouldn’t want to share a name with the nasty predators.
super chic
Hi petite, I have been wondering how you’re doing!
Glad to hear you are keeping busy!!!
I hate that crap… “I love you, but I am not in love with you”
I wouldn’t be surprised if an N or P said that… they probably
heard it on TV or something.
I had a 2 year relationshit with a man who told me,
when we broke up, “I’m not in love with you, I never said that”
OMG! What a load of BS!!!!
Then later he said he had been in love with me,
but didn’t realize it.
It’s all so stupid, I can’t explain it.
petite
HI Schic,
nice to get your thoughts.
yes, the word salad can make such a mess of our brains, we simply cannot be in touch with reality at all. it is like brainwashing and being under the influence of a drug, the drug being the N.
how do I handle the waxing and waning pangs I have of missing him and the thoughts of his being with the new target.
It is afternoon here and I have to go run some errands now before I leave for Sydney on the weekend.
I will keep reading here for everyone’s advice.
stay well Schic.
petite
super chic
hey skylar! my daughter is in Seattle!!!!
She said it is sooooooo beautiful!!!
She and her husband are there on vacation and
to visit a few friends. They went on an underground
tour of Seattle today, where there is part of the old city,
and then to Pike’s Market and later dinner up in the Space Needle.
So there she is, so close, yet so far, as usual (she lives in VA)
super chic
petite, how do you handle the waxing and waning pangs?
I just suffered and toughed my way through it.
I still feel that way sometimes.
Crying helped. Time has lessened the hurt.
Keeping busy is one of my favorites!!!
Accepting what IS, is not easy.
There is nothing wrong with feeling these feelings.
I personally tried my entire life to keep these feelings away.
Tried to be the people pleaser to keep people from leaving.
That behavior got me nowhere!!!!!!!!!!
We have the double pain of realizing the lies that come out
of people’s mouths, lies like I never realized people would tell.
So…. it’s ok to feel sad sometimes,
the feelings will go away, they better!!! I’m depending on it!
super chic
I’ll try this again later.
skylar
Hi SC
Your daughter is in Seattle and I’m Three hours out of LA. I was falling asleep. I’m so tired but anxious too. Can’t wait to get there and crash.
kim frederick
Stargazer, Thanks for your response to my blue funk postings from yesterday. I am feeling much better today, but these are real issues that I need to attend to.
I especially liked the reminder that moods are temporary, and also, the meditation and prayer. I used to apply a Jungian perspective to my spirituality, and it worked very well for me…after a while I changed direction, became more “intellectual” and started thinking in terms of deconstruction and feminism…but I don’t think those things served me well, because they changed the way I saw the world. They made me fearful and resentful. I need to work on getting my faith and acceptance back. I need to, “let go, and let God.” Thanks, again.
Thanks to you, too, Hens. I understand what you mean about not feeling like entering into community activities. Me neither, but if I want to end this isolation, I need to do something. I’m forcing myself to get out there a bit. I’m doing some volunteer work at the Maritime museum, and it does seem to lift my spirits, just to get out and be around folks.
Mandorla, I don’t think it’s possible for one evil person to psychically summon another to do their evil deeds for them, but….I think that thoughts and feelings are energy…and energy has an effect in the universe.
We say prayers, and send good vibes to people we love or are concerned about…we expect it to help them, because we believe in that energy.
Why, then is it not possible that someone some where who is harboring negative vibes toward us, or ruminating on resentment or plotting revenge or whatever, could have a negative effect on us? Of course, all that negative energy they produce is way more detrimental to them than it is to us, and we can repell the negative by staying “spiritually fit.”
Jesus said to be conscious of the effects of our thoughts, words, and deeds, because they contain energy.
kim frederick
Which brings me to another question, Do spaths really suffer?
If they feel no remorse, or guilt, if they have no empathy, if they feel entirely entitled to every thing they want, if they don’t think there is anything wrong with them…(if they don’t miss their soul, because they never had one) do they suffer?
I know they feel frustration, but do they suffer the way the rest of us do?
My Xspath continues to plow his way through life without a care in the world. He’s happy as a clam, as long as his con is working…and my xspath doesn’t set the bar very high….all he wants is beer, cigarettes, his drug of choice, a meal here and there, a shower, on occasion, and a woman he can manipulate.
I don’t think he suffers.
hens
Thanks for all the comments about the satelite guy, I have been obsessing about him, even having thought’s like “Was that my X? would i even recognize him after 3 years?” of course it wasnt my X…but oh well and oh my – off to work……
hens
Kim They dont suffer emotionally like we do. They are scared alot, mostly scared of themselves, thats why they find someone else to mirror, so they wont have to be who they are..