Hiten Patel, of Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, led a double life. He worked at the Federal Aviation Administration Technical Center, which required a security clearance. He had a wife, the result of an arranged marriage in his native India.
But for the past three weeks, Patel has been on trial, charged with sexually assaulting, or attempting to sexually assault, seven women in Atlantic City during the summer of 2012.
Some of the women were working as prostitutes. During the trial, Patel admitted that he was addicted to prostitutes, but he denied assaulting the women. Here’s some of the news coverage:
Accused rapist tells jury he’s paid 200 prostitutes for sex, not rape, on pressofatlanticcity.com.
This story in the Press included a sidebar a summary of what each of the seven women alleged, and what Patel said happened. Granted, with some of the women being prostitutes and some hooked on drugs, their stories may be less than accurate. Still, the versions weren’t even close
THE ALLEGATIONS
The following are the allegations made by seven women against sexual assault defendant Hiten Patel, of Egg Harbor Township, and his account of what occurred during the events during the summer of 2012.
M.D.
Allegation: The woman said Patel pulled a gun on her and tried to rape her June 27, 2012, but she ran. Her dress was torn off as she escaped and she ran to a nearby home, telling the man there she had been attacked. She reported the incident, and again called police about a month later, when she saw the same man again.
Patel: The woman had been paid $150 for sex, but got mad when Patel couldn’t get aroused, he testified. He said he showed her his fake gun after finding her in the front his minivan going through his wallet, still naked. She fled the car without the wallet or her clothes.
J.R.
Allegation: She testified that she was trying to get money to buy heroin because she was sick from withdrawal. After agreeing to have sex with Patel sometime in either June or July 2012, she said she was getting ready to undress when he pulled a gun and ordered her get naked and have sex with him.
Patel: Said he would see her walking down Pacific Avenue, but never solicited her because “she looked like a homeless person.”
K.G.
Allegation: A teenager visiting from Delaware with her older boyfriend, she was walking to the train station July 17, 2012, when Patel offered her a ride. But later, he pulled a gun and she jumped from the moving vehicle, hiding under cars in a nearby dealership.
Patel: The girl solicited him, and demanded money before they parked. He gave her the cash but she wouldn’t agree on a place to stop for sex, so he asked for his money back. She pulled a box cutter, he testified. That’s when Patel showed her the gun. She then opened the car door, “took a step and fell.”
I.S.
Allegation: During the attack sometime in the summer of 2012, Patel allegedly ripped her clothes off her and attacked her at gunpoint. I.S. didn’t report it because she was on probation. Later, she saw him at the jail after his arrest and recognized him.
Patel: He claims the first time he saw the woman was at the Atlantic County Justice Facility following his arrest. Due to the charges, many women said things to him at the jail, Patel testified.
L.C.
Allegation: Patel solicited her for sex sometime in July 2012, but then pulled a gun and his nice demeanor changed. As she tried to escape, he violently forced her back. She made eye contact with someone nearby, which allegedly ended the attack, and she was able to escape.
Patel: Testified only that L.C. “was very pretty” and he tried to kiss her because he was attracted. She didn’t like that, he said.
G.H.
Allegation: Said she accepted the solicitation in mid-July 2012, because she needed money for drugs. He said he was a detective and later pulled out the gun. He ripped her clothes and raped her. G.H. got a partial license plate when she got out of the car.
Patel: The plan was to pay her for sex, but she was coughing so much he felt she was sick and just wanted her out of his car. She kept asking for money and wouldn’t leave, so he pulled out the fake gun.
T.D.
Allegation: Said she approached Patel’s van when he tried to get her attention Aug. 2, 2012, and then ordered her into the car claiming to be a detective. Later, pulled out a gun and raped and choked her. Patel was under surveillance as a suspect in previous attacks, and was arrested shortly after dropping T.D. off.
Patel: T.D. saw the gun in the car, but Patel said he told her it was a toy and even had her hold it. He said the two didn’t have sex, but she did touch him.
Press of Atlantic City Staff Writer Lynda Cohen
The jury believed the women. Last week, Hiten Patel was found guilty in five of the cases.
Patel guilty in attacks on five of seven women in Atlantic City, on pressofatlanticcity.com.
The lies sociopaths tell
Patel’s motivation for lying is obvious he wanted to stay out of prison. Most sociopaths assume that they can talk themselves out of trouble. Unfortunately, they’re often right.
But lying is more than a tactic for sociopaths. Lying is central to their personalities. It’s who they are.
All sociopaths lie. They tell big lies. They tell little lies. They tell stupid lies. They lie when they’d be better off telling the truth. Here are some observations about sociopaths and their lies:
1. Lying for the fun of it
Sociopaths get a thrill out of lying. Some have admitted getting an adrenalin rush out of deceiving people. Dr. Paul Eckman, who studies lying and teaches people how to detect it, calls this “duping delight.”
2. Mixing truth and lies
Some sociopaths mix just enough truth with their lies to make their stories seem plausible. When you know that some of what they’re telling you is true, you tend to believe the rest of what they’re saying as well. Or, you may know that some of what they’re saying is false, but the truth and lies are so intertwined that you can’t pull them apart.
3. Sociopaths know they’re lying
Sociopaths are not delusional. Just because they sound so convincing when they lie, it doesn’t mean they believe their own stories.
Take my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. He claimed to have served in the Australian military for 35 years. He claimed to have won the Victoria Cross for his bravery in Vietnam. He’d been telling those stories since the 1980s, and I met him in 1996.
He was still telling the stories in 2005, when I exposed him. Then, when confronted by a journalist, he admitted that he was never in the military, but that his stories were part of a secret government program to prove how easy it was to impersonate a war hero.
4. Outrageous lies
Some sociopaths tell lies so outrageous, and so massive, that the rest of us can’t imagine anyone saying the words if they aren’t true.
That’s why it never occurred to me that Montgomery might be lying about his military service. Montgomery was a member of the Vietnam Veterans Organization. He was the keynote speaker at a Veteran’s Day ceremony. I accompanied him twice when he spoke to schoolchildren about what it was like to serve in the military.
Who has the nerve to do that when none of it is true? Sociopaths.
5. Eye contact
Most people think that if someone can look you in the eye as they’re talking to you, then they’re telling you the truth. Common wisdom is that when someone is lying, as the words come out of their mouths, they look away.
These guidelines may work with normal people. But sociopaths are perfectly capable of looking deep into your eyes and lying to your face.
Dr. Liane Leedom once wrote on the Lovefraud Blog, “If you are astounded by another person’s capacity to lie and misrepresent reality, you can be sure you have encountered a sociopath.”
I know that the extent of my ex-husband’s lies was simply staggering.
How about you? What outrageous lies have you heard from sociopaths?
Oh my where does one begin.Mine had layers of lies.From details in previous relationships to the day I had him removed for his battering.Planning and scheming behind my back to stories of past loves being killed six years ago.Even the lie about his first wife being his best friends wife.He said he did not lie to me he just did not tell me things.(lying by omission I think we call that) Even details about people’s deaths in his family were lied about.you name it.I began to question everything he said.My conclusion was he is a pathalogical liar.Now I have had no contact for three months I realize he is a sociopath. Funny because he was calling me a physco itch behind my back with his daughter.Scarrrryyyyy.Projection runs amuck with them does it not? Today is our court for his assault and I’m hoping after today I continue to heal and move forward. I was driving home yesterday from work and I got a lump in one side of the throat,then the other and then chest pains and knots in my stomache.I said holy heck what’s going on and then I realized he must be here in my town,two minutes later I passed him in traffic..Wow.I will never forget the ugly negative reaction my body had.Before he was even visually seen.I am so glad this is coming to an end and he can never touch me again.He is poison.
That is the trouble with them from year to year or month to month the same story changes.Thats when the antennas go up and the sleuthing begins for the truth.I read something the other day that said IF you have to be a detective for any reason,that in itself tells you all you need to know.I will never again live like that.My life goal is to never again be with anyone that sick.My mental health is priority.Healing from a Spath is awful and I would rather be alone and live in peace than have anyone do a number like that on my physical and mental and emotional health again.If not for Lovefraud and good therapy and people that genuinely love us.The journey would be much darker.Love peace and healing to all of us here.
Having been with my ex from age 15 until our divorce was final about almost aged 50, I saw the how the lying was ingrained, but it took me a lifetime to understand it for what it was. As teens I saw him lie to others and only many years later learned that many things he told me had been lies as well. As things really started unraveling near the end, I pointed out that he lied about anything and everthing – so many unnecessary details. His dramatic reply at that time was that he only wished he could go an entire day without lying…said in a way as if to try to elicit sympathy from me.
The upside to all this is that I am happy now, and I value truth in my life from myself and those around me.
Is it possible that authors can be lying sociopaths? “Don’t believe everything you read” was a phrase I heard often while growing up.
I was in Wal-Mart several years ago and noticed a book entitled “HELL” with images of flames at the bottom of the cover. Out of morbid curiosity I purchased it.
Now…to me…the book sounded like an evil Harry Potter story on steroids. It did not make for credible reading. But it consumed me and my life became a ‘living hell’ because of the descriptions of Hell in this book. The author was intent on impressing everyone with the ‘fact’ that it is a real place where no one ever leaves; people burn forever and there are monsters (including huge insects, such as four foot long spiders…rancid foul smelling demons).
My husband threw the book at the ceiling after reading just the first three pages. He said he could not believe that an intelligent person like me could ever ‘fall’ for such drivel. I still live in fear. I actually saw the author and his wife on a religious program (I forget who interviewed them) and they appeared to be very honest, earnest, and sincere. His wife said she will never forget the night that her husband ‘went to Hell and how she found him writhing on the floor in great terror’. I even found their website and emailed the wife. She sent scriptures to me supporting the reality of Hell.
I am now reading a book entitled “Same Soul, Many Bodies”, and even though it sounds just as far-fetched, it leaves me with a sense of hope and peace. I believe more in the “Universe” and how it affects all of us. Buddhism is a wonderful religion to contemplate even though Buddha was not a god. I believe in Jesus but not in Hell (and this is scary because what if it is real?) And 99% of us are headed there…
Many have criticized the author of “Hell”, claiming he is out to make a lot of money. And despite the appearance of he and his wife they could be pathological liars or sociopaths.
Any ideas on this?
Barb,
Stay away from people who write books that “consumed me and my life became a ’living hell’ because of the descriptions of Hell in this book. ”
Listen to your self, Barb. You already know the answer to your questions.
What if it’s real, indeed?
This is amusing in retrospect: This spath I was “working” for making “music videos” of totally unkmown musical groups (who paid him to do so- 50-60K per project). Many of whom had adequet musicianship and material, but were not really “marketable” in the 15-24 demographic. Clearly, he “targeted” paying customers of this type because there was no shortage of them!
I met this guy on the internet, looking for PA jobs in the early days of digital production. I flew to California and stayed in an extra bedroom at his house/”production studio” in Marina DelRey. I wasn’t attracted to him in a romantic way- he just wasn’t my “type”. But for some reason that I never quite understood- he got disturbingly, unreasonably “attracted” to me. There were lots and lots of beautiful, far more “personable” actresses throwing themselves at him all the time. He tried to “court” me. And he told me all these outrageous “lies” about all the celebrities he’s worked with and had relationships with (working relationships). Quite frankly, I NEVER believed his hype. We’d be watching TV and he’d say “yeah I know him- last year…blah blah…and give me some preposterous anecdote. I never believed any of his stories. One day the door bell rang and I answered it. It was a “famous” sitcom actor. They guy came in and they acted like old Army buddies. In Hollywood this is a bullshit game. This is the way things get done- first on a “handshake”. Everyone sucks-up and he had plenty of sycophants- even though he was a third rate director (if that!). Well, one of the most unbelieveable stories he told me (that clearly he knew I didn’t believe) concerned the folksters Peter Paul and Mary. He told me in the 60s he “worked” with them producing and taping some live performances. Well, we spent some time in Chicago looking for “commercial” work and, lo and behold PP&M were scheduled to do a concert in a couple weeks. So, I slyly said “hey, Bobby, why don’t you contact their manager, tell him who you are- I’m sure they’d be -sic, thrilled to see you after all this time!” Well, this guy really had balls, so he did just that. He weasled a couple of free tickets to the concert at the very least. Not surprizing all he had to do was promote himself as a music video director/producer to get a bite. (He had a routine dog and pony show for this. Snicker.) So, the day of the show we go backstage and I’m thinking “I can’t wait to see THIS! These people won’t remember him at all and I wonder HOW he’s gonna bullshit his way outta THIS!” I was itchin’ to see what he’d do when he hit the wall, splat. Well, can you imagine what happened next?! He walks up to them and they’re all just TICKLED PINK. Mary practicall throws her arms around him. She said she always thought of him as “The Voice of God”!!!!!! (He had a fake voice and could actually pull that one off.) So now it’s “old home week”. Of course I never changed my mind, though. Spaths blend fact and fiction and often they set their targets up with mind games. They know you’re wary- don’t quite believe them, so they set up some “facts” as part of the con. THEN they hit ya with a really BIG lie that really IS a lie- that you think might actually be on the up and up! I left this creep shortly after this incident because I discovered he’d stolen my bank card, memorized the pin# (from watching me do transactions) and started withdrawing my mortgage money out of my account- so there was no money in it and my payments weren’t made. Typical.
Overthehump…
Wow, that’s quite a story. Thankfully you aren’t with him anymore.
As you’ve probably read in my previous posts, I did try and warn the next woman. By pure luck, I entered her name in FB not knowing if that’s who he was with. And like you, there it was…all the photos of the two of them. When I found this, I sent her a FB message simply trying to warn her of what he was like, and sharing with her that I was the woman he was living with when he was having a relationship with her. She and a good friend of hers tracked me down at my work via email and phone. They wanted answers, too, as he had lied to her in the past about other things. She caught him and forgave him then. And even with all of the additional information I shared with her, I believe she is still with him to this date. I couldn’t care less about him, I simply did not want to see another woman have to endure the pain and heartache I did at the hands of this sociopath.
Erdelyi,
I LOVE your story. It so aptly describes how these types weave fiction and truth, and that one of our best defenses is to do just what you did, and pay attention to how you felt about him, and not get all caught up in the words and stories they use to bamboozle us.
How telling that someone who is perfectly capable of making some kind of living would still steal your credit card. Like Martha Stewart lying about her investments to make a measly 100,000.00 dollars, when she was worth zillions. They are crazy smart/stoopid these types
Sorry about the loss of your $. I lost some money too. I figure it was payment for an education I sorely needed. A painful lesson,, to be sure. But, one that has made me a much better, wiser person.
Slim
….And the first thing our GAL told me the first time she met with me (after she met with my ex-path, his borderline wife three times prior to our first meeting) Ms.C.G. told me blatantly “We are all sociopaths, we all lie”. This is an ATTORNEY who was appointed by the judge 2 years ago. She has no psych/social education nor does she have any interest in protecting the kids. She walks into the court room with their s/p dad, says nothing to the judge about what the kids are telling her. I think this article is absolutely true…they get off on lying and throwing it in your face. What they don’t see however is that they are ragged out, look like the HELL they create and what goes around…will come back and bite them in their ASSSSSSSSHHH in due time!
My ex-spath never paid child support or alimony as he was being paid under the table in timeshares! Then he lied to my 5 children about my having been a terrible mother (when in reality I was known as one of the best) and left him due to Ct. Child Protecvtion charges…he would have killed one of them. My children grew up to repeat and elaborate on his lies so now I am left alone, aging, disabled and abandoned by family and friends.My son even told his ex-wife that I was going crazy from a brain tumor when in reality, I was discovered to have a brain cyst caused by a stroke in urtero but am otherwise mentally above par.
Oh heavens yes, the lies were astonishing! I had talked to him on line for 9 years before we actually met in person. During that time firstly his adopted son died of cancer, then his own young son also died of cancer. At the time I did think wow what are the chances. But NO ONE lies about things like that, not your kids. I felt so sad for him. Eventually (after 9 years talking) he came to NZ to meet me and we lived together. There was always some bizzaire problem with his visa. But eventually he got a job and went off to work every day in his suit, I even made his lunches before I went to work, they even forwarded him some wages so we could have a decent Christmas. He had some tough days at work and a lot of good ones for three weeks. His first payday was due and he made arrangements to take me out for dinner to a swanky place to celebrate.
Doesn’t get home until very late though and then confesses all. It was ALL lies. His kids were fine, there was no job (he had borrowed money from a friend of mine because Christmas was going to be tough and he was ‘working’ now), he had no visa. There were 100s more lies as well. He had asked someone he had met on line to lend him money through some bullshit story, hoping it would come through before ‘payday’, it didn’t. I kicked him out immediately, I was SO shocked, especially about the children lies. I phoned him, he told me he was sleeping rough. Even then I felt sorry for him, what a FOOL I was. Turns out I found out much later when this woman contacted me to see where he was), the money had finally come through the next day and he spent it staying at a casino and blew all of it in a day gambling (3,000.00 NZ dollars!!!)Luckily before I got weak enough to take him at least back into the house my family and friends intervened and got him arrested as an over stayer and deported back to Holland. All I can say now is THANK the Good Lord, although at the time I was insane with it all.
I went crazy trying to figure out what was true and what wasn’t, trying to make sense of it all. It was so beyond anything I understood or had encountered. He kept trying to contact me, saying I was his true love, the only woman ever, we would be so happy, he had changed etc etc. Thank goodness he was on the other side of the world because I was so vulnerable then, I don’t know what I would have done.
My sister made me go no contact, best thing I ever did. I stopped trying to work him out because it was never going to make sense in my values and beliefs. It didn’t matter what was true and what wasn’t. He kept contacting me from time to time for two years after. I responded once and then made myself stop. By the time he had left he had used all my money from the sale of my house, left me with huge debts plus what he had borrowed from my friend and sister. Im paying at all back, mostly done now
But oh the lies, I just couldn’t believe anyone would lie like that about everything. I didn’t know, and I wouldn’t have believed anyone who told me there were people like that either.
I am a whole heap more savvy now but still slow to trust
All by texting, so it was easier for him to lie. (He’s much cooler online.) Lies about how many kids he has (there were more) lied about where he lived, where his parents live, and what they do-mom worked on Wall Street and dad was a ball player. Actually mom is a waitress and dad probably doesn’t do anything. After 4 months of texting it was over, so my story ends there. 🙂 As much as you want to believe someone, you need to put up the boundaries, stop, do a U turn, and take a detour.