A Lovefraud reader posted the following comment awhile back: I just have one question for everyone here. Does anyone trust people after these sick people did what they did to us? Unfortunately for me, I have run across a few of these sickos but NONE like my ex. Whoever I meet now I'm thinking to myself, who is this person really? Do they have a secret life like the Scott Petersons and Ted Bundys of this world? I don't let my children out of my sight and I'm already training my kids and they all know the signs of a sociopath especially my girls. I feel like I'm in a prison sometimes in my mind as I try so hard but just can't trust anyone. Yes, it is possible to trust again. Remember, …
The Mask of a Sociopath
By Peggywhoever All sociopaths wear a mask. The mask of kindness. The mask of generosity. The mask of romance. The mask of attraction. The mask of intimacy. The mask of seduction. And so on. This is what reels us in. The pretense. The acting. The mask. The mask of perfection. And we, in our infinite loving goodness, reflect that mask back to them. The perfect mirrored reflection of beauty and adoration. And then one day, that mask cracks. You remember the moment.. The moment when you look in their eyes and you KNOW the truth about them. The moment you recognize the pathological lies, the deception, the manipulation, the con. The game is up. And from that moment on, your relationship with …
I am thankful
By BloggerT7165 I am a survivor. And I am thankful for that. It's not something I take for granted because I know there are many who do not survive the abuse that is inflicted by their loved ones, trusted spouses or friends or parents. This is a hurtful experience that literally kills people. And if the wound itself doesn't kill, then the infection that follows from the collusion of friends, neighbors, confidants, professionals, and others will many times finish off the job. Every abuse story is a tragic one, but the stories of those who successfully commit suicide are among the most heart-wrenching of all. Many abuse victims survive in body, but are lost in other ways. Lost to the …
Pennsylvania State Senator Vincent J. Fumo on trial for corruption
Daily newspaper accounts of two big trials currently underway in the Philadelphia area have put sociopaths on display for all to see, if only people knew what they were looking at. In the first trial, Pennsylvania State Senator Vincent J. Fumo, a Democrat who represents Philadelphia, is accused of 139 counts of conspiracy, fraud, obstruction of justice and filing false tax returns. The testimony emanating from the Philadelphia courtroom is far more colorful than those charges sound, and we'll get to that in a moment. In the second trial, taking place across the river in Camden, New Jersey, five young men, all foreign-born Muslims who grew up nearby Cherry Hill, are accused of plotting a …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have looked into the eyes of Satan
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, we'll call him Jeff, sent the following e-mail to tell his story. In 1981, I met the woman who later became my wife when we worked together in a furniture factory. She was 44 and married and I was a 30-year-old single "Christian." What started out as a frequently adversarial interaction became a friendship within a year, and by 1982, she was telling me how horrid her marriage was because her husband was so loveless and mistreated her. White knight that I thought I was, I let my sympathy turn into action and eventually was convinced I loved her, which led to her inviting me to her home on an evening when her youngest daughter and husband were gone. It now …
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The New Yorker writes about researchers’ struggle to study psychopaths
Two Lovefraud readers brought an article in the latest issue of The New Yorker magazine to my attention. It's entitled Suffering Souls—the search for the roots of psychopathy, by John Seabrook. The article starts off describing the work of a researcher, Dr. Kent Kiehl, who is using an fMRI machine to study the brains of prisoners in the Western New Mexico Correctional Facility, searching for physical indications of psychopathy. The author provides a brief history of the evolution of scientific understanding about this personality disorder, and describes today's conflicting opinions about it. Seabrook reviewed the literature and interviewed experts, including Dr. Robert Hare. All in all, t …
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Welcome to Lovefraud Land
By Peggywhoever Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile). This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here. Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck. See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here? You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though yo …
Researchers want to know about your experience with a psychopath
Plenty of scientific researchers have studied psychopaths. But few have studied the victims of psychopaths, so there is little documentation of what we have all been through. Perhaps that is beginning to change. Lovefraud has been contacted by a researcher from Carleton University in Ottowa, Ontario, Canada. She is conducting a study entitled Victimization, coping, and social support of adult survivors of psychopaths. The graduate student is working under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth, who is a colleague of Dr. Robert Hare. The purpose of the study is "to gain an understanding of the victimization experiences of adult (18+) survivors of psychopaths, in an attempt to raise awareness …
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Meet the new Lovefraud author: Travis Vining, son of a sociopathic murderer
What's it like to grow up with a father who is a sociopath—and you're not? Travis Vining knows. At least, he knows now, because when he was a child, even a young adult, he didn't know that his father, John B. Vining, was a sociopath. Travis just knew that his father was fun, charming, the coolest guy around. All Travis' friends liked his father. Travis, himself, idolized him. The Vinings were a prominent, politically connected Miami family —Travis' grandfather, E. Clyde Vining, was a real estate magnate. John B. Vining also went into real estate, and Travis grew up in a house on a lake with all the trappings of privilege. Fraud and murder But John B. Vining wasn't content with rea …
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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: The Marine and the sociopath
My name is Jonathan L. Spear. I serve in the United States Marine Corps. All my life I have considered myself a strong minded person who is kind hearted and loving of the world. I help all I can, I give strangers rides, I take in my friends who have fallen on bad times and help them get back on their feet and am willing to die for those I love and even people I don't know. I am currently stationed near Baghdad, Iraq and well we don't have a whole lot to do out here so I was watching a movie and there was this girl in it who said she has been called a sociopath by doctors but before they said that I had noticed that this girl had acted a lot like one of my ex's. So I decided to do some …
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