How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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What if you see some signs of a sociopath, but not all of them?

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UPDATED FOR 2022. Editor's note: This is Part 1 of a two-part inquiry that Lovefraud recently received from a reader whom we'll call “Carlotta.” She asks important questions about the signs of a sociopath. I recently met and "dated" a man who turned out to be a sociopath. When I first met him I used your list of 10 signs of a sociopath to help me determine what I needed to do to protect myself if he should turn out to be a sociopath or worse. I wasn't too worried about him, because initially I noticed he had only 3 of the 10 traits. The notation with your list says if they have most or all of the traits they may be a sociopath. He turned out to be a sociopath so now I wonder if the spe …

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Scientific proof that relationships with psychopaths are bad for you

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Most of what is known about psychopaths comes from research with imprisoned criminals. Why? Because researchers can access them — they are literally a captive audience. But many psychopaths manage to stay out of prison. Psychopaths live among us and engage in the regular activities of life, including romantic relationships. Little is known about the psychopaths who stay out of prison and how they affect others. But finally, there is scientific evidence of what many of us have learned the hard way: Intimate relationships with psychopaths cause great harm to the victims. A scientific paper, Toxic Relationships: The experiences and effects of psychopathy in romantic relationships, has just b …

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With the sociopath – is it love or addiction?

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UPDATED FOR 2022. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Gianna.”  She ended her involvement with a sociopath, and now wonders if she'll ever experience such intense love again. Here's a better question: is it love or addiction? Gianna's email After extensive searches for the article already written, I've come to think I should just ask the question. Will I ever be able to love someone the way I loved the sociopath? I am 3 years out of my relationship with the man who almost destroyed me. It's taken therapy, countless books, overcoming obsession, and rebuilding myself from the ground up. I've come a long way but there is still one piece of me that is missi …

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Grandparents can also engage in parental alienation

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Parental alienation, according to Joan Kloth-Zanard, founder of PAS-Intervention.org, is one parent deliberately impeding the relationship between children and their other parent. It’s a form of psychological abuse, Kloth-Zanard says. In fact, she describes parental alienation as domestic violence by proxy. This usually occurs within the context of divorce and child custody battles. Alienating behaviors include teaching the child to fear, hate or be angry with the other parent, deliberately blocking visitation, and filing false claims of abuse or neglect. When this happens, the targeted parent may have no choice but to go to court to fight the charges and reclaim their relationship with t …

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Why nothing worries the psychopath

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Psychopaths and antisocials rarely worry about what might happen, even in dire situations, and are rarely concerned about the consequences of their behavior. Why? Why is it that nothing worries the psychopath? A viewer posted the following comment on one of my Lovefraud Live! videos: Donna, can you do a video on why the sociopath acts like life is great all the time, even though he has done great evil and destroyed lives. It's like nothing scares them and life is one big carnival ride. I know a sociopath who even when facing serious criminal charges acted like he didn't have a care in the world and was still laughing and cracking jokes every day. It's disturbing when an individual has …

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10 Subtypes of psychopathy

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A classic sign of psychopathy is cruelty towards animals. I’ve heard horror stories of psychopaths callously killing kittens, dogs and other animals. My psychopathic ex-husband, however, liked animals. He walked my dog every morning and brought home exotic pets. So he did not fit that stereotype. This observation is a small indication that psychopaths, antisocials and narcissists are not all the same. In fact, Dr. Theodore Millon, who was one of the great theorists of personality and personality disorders, identified 10 subtypes of psychopathy. His work does much to explain why some psychopaths plot deliberate, complex schemes and others act on impulse with no regard for consequences. It e …

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Why we comply with the sociopath’s demands when we know we shouldn’t

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The cable TV network NewsNation recently interviewed me for a story about why some women help inmates bust out of jail. This is obviously wrong and illegal, but multiple people have done it (See Top 10 people who helped their lovers escape from prison.) Experts generally report that many prisoners are sociopaths—this is probably especially true of those who plot escapes. So the question is, why do people who know better comply with the sociopath's demands, including outrageous demands like escaping from prison? In the most recent jailbreak, Samuel Hartman, convicted of raping a nine-year-old child, escaped from an Arkansas prison work detail, allegedly with the help of his mother and wife. N …

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Deny, attack, play the victim: the typical abuser response to confrontation

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If you ever attempt to talk to sociopaths about their bad behavior, you’ll probably encounter the following: They’ll deny that they did anything wrong, attack you for bringing it up, and then claim that it’s all your fault and you should be apologizing to them. You’ll be shocked, but you shouldn’t be. Research shows that this is the typical abuser response to confrontation. One researcher studied women who confronted people who had sexually abused them as children. What happened? 44% of the victims heard complete denials from their abusers 22% were accused of misunderstanding the abuser’s conduct 44% were told they were crazy 22% heard a partial admission of guilt, only to ha …

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Psychopaths at work – everything you need to know in one breezy article

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No matter what you do for a living, there’s a good chance that you’ll come across psychopaths at work. Why? It’s quite simple — we live among millions of psychopaths, and they’re everywhere. These disordered individuals are hiding in plain sight in all demographic groups, communities and walks of life. So yes, you’ll encounter them on the job — perhaps as co-workers, customers, or vendors. Or, in a particularly difficult situation, the psychopath could be your boss. So how do you spot psychopaths at work? And if you think someone might have the traits, what do you do? I recently came across this terrific explanation and summary at Observer.com: This is how to deal with psychopaths and toxi …

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High-energy sociopaths — 5 reasons why they just keep pushing

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If you’ve had a sociopath in your life — as a romantic partner, family member, work colleague or acquaintance — you may have observed that the person always seems to be in overdrive. What is it with these high-energy sociopaths? They never let up. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who had the misfortune of being romantically involved with someone she described as having the traits of a malignant narcissist. Here is her question: How do sociopaths/narcissists/psychopaths have so much energy? I would feel completely exhausted after getting engaged in any sort of conversation. He, on the other, he felt fine despite the fact that he was my only source of emotional and ver …

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