Donna Andersen, Author at Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

Recovery from the sociopath through self-forgiveness

November 9, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

The sociopath devastated your life, and you feel like it's all your fault. In this webinar you learn that through understanding and gentle self-forgiveness, you can put down the burden of guilt and find peace. Travis Vining, the instructor, teaches from his heart — and from experience. His father was a serial killer who pressured Travis to help cover up his crimes. Talk about guilt! It was so traumatic that Travis repressed the memories for years. Finally, in a reflective and spiritual way, Travis found peace. In this webinar, he shares his approach with you. Click for more information: Self-forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt …

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Social worker charged in plot to hire hit man

November 7, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

So today I open up the newspaper and see that a local therapist, Diane Sylvia, 58, attempted to hire a hit man. She wanted a guy's "pretty little face" bashed in. She also wanted his arm broken, so he could no longer work out. Diane Sylvia is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Somers Point, New Jersey. According to her title, she is also a certified domestic violence counselor. One of Sylvia's clients had belonged to a criminal gang. She asked him if he knew anyone who could do the job. The client notified the authorities, who then wanted him to introduce Sylvia to a hit man — except that it was really an undercover FBI agent. Sylvia claimed that the man, who lived in M …

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Utah track athlete shot by ex-boyfriend who lied about his name, age, and sex-offender status

November 4, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

The story of University of Utah track athlete Lauren McCluskey, 21, is a tragedy from beginning to end. She started dating Melvin S. Rowland in September. A month later, she found out who he really was — a 37-year old sex offender who had recently been paroled. When Lauren broke off their relationship, Rowland stalked her. Then, on October 22, he shot and killed her, leaving her body in a car on campus. He fled and later killed himself. Here's a timeline of the events in the extortion and shooting death of University of Utah student Lauren McCluskey, on SLTrib.com When Lauren McCluskey first reported Rowland, the university police did not open an investigation immediately. They also …

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Philippe Padieu gave 13 women HIV, but they fought back and put him in jail

October 30, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Diane Reeve dated Philippe Padieu for four years, but when he failed to show up at her daughter's wedding reception, discovered that he was cheating on her. Because she was paying for his cell phone, she checked his phone records and found that Padieu's cheating was rampant. She called the other women to tell them the truth. Then Diane, who was a martial arts instructor, started feeling tired. She thought she was just getting older. Soon she spoke with one of Padieu's other girlfriends. It turned out that they both had HIV. The women searched for other victims, and eventually found 13 infected women. They reported the situation to the police, and in 2009, Philippe Padieu was …

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As you recover from the sociopath, remember to live

October 25, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …

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Asian cops bust S$19 million love scam syndicate

October 24, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Cops in Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong take Internet romance scams seriously — which is more than I can say for U.S. and European authorities. Asian cops just busted a love scam crime ring that had swindled victims out of more than Singapore $19.45 million (US$14.08 million). Officers arrested 19 suspects in the same syndicate: 15 Malaysian women, 1 Malaysian man, 2 Nigerian men and 1 Chinese woman. Did you catch that? The people doing the scamming were mostly women! These suspects swindled 146 people. Eight of the victims in Singapore lost more than $450,000. Love scam syndicate worth nearly S$20 million crippled by authorities in Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong, on B …

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Woman whose disordered ex bit off her lip tells her story

October 23, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Kayla Hayes finally found the strength to leave her controlling boyfriend, Seth Fleury. But on October 21, 2017, he wanted to get together to "talk," Kayla agreed to meet him, but when he tried to kiss her, she refused. He bit off her lip. Fleury, 23, was sentenced a few days ago to 12 years in prison for assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature. He must serve at least 10 years. Kayla wrote about her terrifying experience, and its aftermath, in a post on Facebook. Her words and emotions will sound familiar to Lovefraud readers. Kayla Hayes on Facebook — "Today I sat in a courtroom." Woman, whose ex bit off he lip, shares emotional Facebook post after he is sentenced …

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Outrageous lies my sociopathic ex told me — what whoppers did you hear?

October 22, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, lied from the very beginning of our involvement, right through to the end. His first lies were in his online profile — age 49 (he was 55), financially secure (he had no money at all), an entrepreneur (never built a successful business in his life). When we met in person, the lies continued nonstop. Here’s some of what I heard: Lie: I won the Victoria Cross for my heroism in Vietnam (complete with a commendation). Truth: He was never in Vietnam, in fact, never in the military. His commendation was forged. Lie: I will be the next Walt Disney. Truth: He couldn’t get a job as Dumbo. Lie: I don’t have a gay bone in my body. Truth: I found …

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Useless advice on how to spot a lie

October 16, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

The Daily Mail just published a silly article in which a psychologist explains how to tell when someone is lying. The behavioral psychologist, Jo Hemmings, dispenses all of the usual and useless advice about watching for microexpressions, lack of eye contact, convoluted explanations and changes in behavior. Okay, so the advice might work for spotting a normal person who is uncomfortable with lying. It will never work for spotting a sociopath who lies like he or she breathes. In fact, the article is accompanied by a sidebar in which new research published by Edinburgh University finds that it is hard to spot a liar. Why? Because liars may intentionally suppress the tell-tale signs of …

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Dealing with a sociopath: Fight or flight?

October 13, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

Sociopaths are social predators who live their lives by exploiting people. When you're the person who has been exploited, how should you respond? Do you try to hold the sociopath accountable? Or do you cut your losses and run? Lovefraud is an open forum, with many people expressing opinions about what you should do. In the past, some folks have posted comments saying give up, run away, don't fight, you can't win. I don't necessarily agree with that. Yes, in some cases, fleeing is the best course of action. But sometimes the only way to survive is to fight. Or sometimes standing up to the sociopath enables you to reclaim yourself, even if you don't win the battle. I believe you …

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mamo on Name a cockroach after your ex and feed it to a wild animal: “lol, this service sounds insanely interesting and so does friday night funkin’”
mamo on Is Byran Kohberger a psychopath?: “hills of steel is one of the most interesting action game, it may help these psychopaths”
Donna Andersen on After the sociopath, proud of my healing: “Eleanor – Congratulations to you and all survivors. And thank you so much for your kind words. You, too, have…”
sept4 on Am I a sociopath magnet?: “Not me, I am one and done! My sociopath ex husband wrecked my life and I have never wanted to…”
sept4 on My psychopathic ex-husband is dead, and his pedophile brother is in prison: “Thank you Donna for sharing. My sociopath ex husband is a convicted criminal and continued his criminal activity after a…”