How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Co-workers didn’t identify a sociopath, but knew something was wrong

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It reads like a typical Lovefraud story, where a guy seduces a woman with claims of love, financial stability, and even military service in the Special Forces. But the story is posted on Reddit, and it wasn't posted by the victim, but by one of her co-workers at a big box retailer. The co-worker posts: She recently meets a guy on OKCupid (let's call him Miguel). Miguel claims to live in a bigger city than ours, an hour away (we are in the middle of nowhere in Kansas) and that he is 35 years old, also claims to be a virgin, and takes an interest in Jane. They chat for a while, and she's very excited. Once they establish a fondness for eachother, he claims that he has a $250K in …

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Wow! Lori Isenberg allegedly embezzles a half-million dollars, then her husband ends up dead

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On Feb. 13, 2018, Laurcene (Lori) Barnes Isenberg, 64, reported to authorities that her husband, Larry Dean Isenberg, had fallen out of their boat into Lake Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Authorities have just released records indicating that he did not die of a heart attack or drown — he had lethal levels of Benadryl in his system. Then Lori Isenberg was arrested for embezzling $500,000 from the North Idaho Housing Coalition, where she was the director. She failed to show up at her arraignment in June and is now missing. Now, two of Lori Isenberg's daughters, Jessica Barnes and Amber Hosking, are under investigation for conspiracy to commit theft and conspiracy to commit murder. Stay t …

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Anniversary Sale on all 3 printed Lovefraud books — save 57%!

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Lovefraud.com launched in July 2005, so we're celebrating 13 years online! In honor of our anniversary, you can buy all three of Donna Andersen's printed books for $24.50 — a savings of 57%. Red Flats of Love Fraud - 10 signs you're dating a sociopath This self-help book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. You'll learn how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it's hard to escape the relationships, and how you can protect yourself. More info Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook The scary truth is that sociopaths can't seduce us without our own involvement. Why did you believe his or her s …

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Dr. James Kauffman: military fraud and drug dealer, hired a hit man to murder his wife

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A few weeks ago, ABC 20/20 broadcast a show about the murder of April Kauffman in 2012. Last year, her husband, Dr. James Kauffman, was charged with hiring a hit man to shoot her in their home. In January, James Kauffman hanged himself while in prison awaiting trial. The crime took place in Linwood, New Jersey, which is practically in my back yard, so I've been reading the news coverage for years. I began to suspect that the good doctor was a psychopath early on — when he remarried shortly after his wife's death and tried to collect on her insurance policy. Yesterday, a new story came out — James Kauffman had claimed to be a military hero, serving in the Vietnam war. Apparently that's o …

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How to overcome your addiction to sociopaths

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Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call "Peggy Sue." I feel hopeless. I'm a target for sociopaths, or I'm addicted to them. My ex-fiancé was one. I was with him 7 years and was abused every way possible. I was so confused with the lies and double life. He said I was crazy and I went on tons of medication and was completely isolated. I finally was able to leave after 7 years with the help of police, only to move back to my dads with nothing and to start all over. A month later fell in love with another sociopath. My friends and family think I'm gonna end up dead by him or killing myself. I have been to therapy they all just say move out and leave. I can't — t …

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Annapolis shooter Jarrod Ramos—something’s wrong, but he may not be a sociopath

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On Thursday, Jarrod W. Ramos, 38, burst into the offices of the Capital Gazette newspaper in Annapolis, Maryland and shot five employees dead. This tragic situation began as a stalking case. Here are the details: In 2009, Ramos found a former high school classmate on Facebook. The woman didn't remember Ramos, but Googled him, discovered they were, in fact, classmates, and she was cordial to him. Ramos escalated, began stalking her, and the woman finally pressed charges. Ramos pleaded guilty to criminal harassment and received 90-day suspended sentence and 18 months of probation. The Capital Gazette published an article about the case on July 31, 2011. Ramos didn't like the article, and …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Shania." Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter. I'm a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder. A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say. I first noticed a red flag before we started dating. Out of nowhere, Mark came over to me and cut off a …

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Quora: What’s it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?

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The following question was posed on Quora: "What's it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?" The woman who asked the question included commentary about sociopaths, some of which I disagree with. For example, she said, "Sometimes you see even the most terrifying sociopaths get out of prison and go on to have their own children who they do not mistreat, and actually like." Actually, sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children, so even if they don't beat their kids, they'll probably inflict psychological and emotional abuse. But what makes this Quora thread really interesting is not the question, but the answers. Several people who identified themselves …

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Explaining love addiction with a sociopath

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According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain's reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video. Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can't get what you want. So what happens when you fall in …

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The Sociopath Channel: Investigation Discovery

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If you want to know how sociopaths behave, just watch any TV show on the Investigation Discovery channel. All the stories are true. They're all about sociopaths. All the stories will enlighten you about disordered behavior — if you know what to look for. In fact, I found a page on the ID website with helpful information: 5 Signs you share your home with a psychopath. The descriptions are reasonably accurate. I often turn on ID while I'm cleaning the house. Because of the reality show format — narration, interviews and reenactments — I find that I can listen to the shows while I work, and still follow the whole story. Time and time again, I hear perfect descriptions of sociopaths seduc …

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