I receive a lot of email from readers, and over the years many have asked some variation of the question: Do sociopaths know what they are? Do they realize that something is wrong with them? The answer varies with the individual sociopath, because they aren't all the same. Generally, though, I believe sociopaths know that they are different from the rest of the human race. However, most are not bothered by their difference. They view themselves as superior. It's easy to see where this attitude comes from. Because sociopathy is highly genetic, and is influenced by the early childhood environment, sociopaths usually never were anything but sociopaths. They never experienced a true …
After the sociopath, consumed by obsession
The illusion is vaporized. One way or another, you have discovered that your partner, family member, friend or colleague is a sociopath. Maybe you unearthed one lie too many. Or maybe the mask slipped and the person unceremoniously dumped you. However it happened, you've learned that he or she has been lying to you all along. And now you're obsessed. You want to know the truth. You want to know where the sociopath really was, who the sociopath was really with, what happened to the money. With your new awareness of his or her lying personality, you recall multiple incidents that left you scratching your head, and now look at them in an entirely different light, trying to figure out what …
Psychopaths can consider another’s perspective — if they want to
Psychopaths can understand what their victims are thinking, but they just don't care. New research cited in The Atlantic has looked into the psychopathic "theory of mind" — the human skill through which we consider the perspective of someone else. It turns out most of us have the ability to do this automatically. Psychopaths, however, do it when it will help them achieve their goals — and otherwise switch the ability off. How psychopaths see the world, on TheAtlantic.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Psychopaths can consider another’s perspective — if they want toRead More
Sociopathic deception: A plan or second nature?
Lovefraud received the following question from a reader: When a sociopath targets his victim, does he think and create a plan as to HOW he is going to manipulate his prey to glean what he wants, or is this just second nature to him? How can he spend MONTHS being such a kind, considerate person, going out of his way to do the "little" things that matter in life, before turning into the evil monster? When you have been deceived and manipulated by a sociopath, the most difficult idea to grasp is how totally different people with this personality disorder are from the rest of us. Their behavior is different from everything we thought we knew about human interaction. Sociopaths—both male and …
The Atlantic tells the story of serial con man Derek Alldred and his multiple romance scams
For several years, Lovefraud posted articles about Derek Alldred, a con man who scammed women in Minnesota, Texas and other states. He posed as a war hero, physician, investment banker and more, scamming about a dozen women out of more than $1 million. The creep is finally in jail. And The Atlantic has written a comprehensive story of his exploits — and how his victims banded together to stop him. The perfect man who wasn't, on TheAtlantic.com. My comments on the article: Not once did the author mention any personality disorder. She made the statement that "America loves a con man." Because Alldred impersonated a Navy SEAL, he was investigated by NCIS. That's the first time I …
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How could such a wonderful young man turn into an evil sociopath?
Editors note: Here's a letter Lovefraud received from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte18." Donna Andersen's response follows the letter. About a year ago, my husband was arrested for kidnapping a couple of friends of ours. Since then, I have been discovering so many other nefarious things he was doing behind my back, such as stealing money for a living, having relations with other men, committing tax fraud, and the list goes on. As I look back on our relationship, nearly every one of the items you listed on your checklist ring true for our relationship, but I was very blind to them before his arrest, except for the gaslighting. I called him out on that about three months before his …
How could such a wonderful young man turn into an evil sociopath?Read More
To recover from the sociopath, and protect yourself from another one, work on relieving your emotional tension
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/rJNFeHHGGN4"] Over the weekend Terry, my husband, and I watched The Zookeeper's Wife, a movie is set in Warsaw, Poland, during World War II. It tells the true story of how after animals at the Warsaw Zoo were bombed and shot, the couple that ran the zoo used the property to hide Jews from the Nazis until they could be transported to safety. It's a good movie, but as you can imagine, it is tense and emotional. My reaction to the film, plus the normal stress of daily life, made it difficult for me to sleep. Perhaps the connection I felt to the movie was a distant memory — if you've read my book, Love Fraud, you may remember that I describe how I learned a …
Red flags that a gold digger may have targeted your elderly parent or friend
Many sociopaths (although not all of them) target romantic partners to swindle them out of money. Lovefraud's research shows that most sociopaths continue their manipulative behavior as long as they live. That means senior sociopaths may target other seniors. They may proclaim their love, in order to access the victim's money, home or pension. Jean Mignolet, a private investigator in Florida, where lots of seniors live, recently posted an article about spotting the warning signs of a gold digger. Some are: Ambiguity — the con artist glosses over important information about temselves Significant age difference — especially they met online Moving too fast —rushing important life d …
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Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz — psychopath, psychotic or traumatized?
Another school shooting. Last week, Nikolas Cruz, 19, shot up his former school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida. He killed 17 people and wounded 14 more. In the initial reporting about the incident, none of the students who knew Cruz were surprised. They feared him and mostly stayed away from him. The New York Times reported: "A lot of people were saying that it would be him," the student told WFOR-TV. "They would say he would be the one to shoot up the school. Everyone predicted it." Why would the entire school population predict that Cruz would grab a gun and kill people? The kids knew about his rants and fascination with violence. The Washington Post reported …
Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz — psychopath, psychotic or traumatized?Read More
How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselves
On Quora.com, people can post questions for others to answer. Here's one question that was posted: How do psychopaths behave as children, especially around other children their age? So far, 13 people have answered the question — most of them self-identifying as psychopaths. The responses are fascinating. Here's an example: I was independent, yes. Behaved very well around my parents and other figures of authority, because behaving well meant that I could get away with more if I were caught. I stole, lied, manipulated “friends” into giving me what they want, made threats, threw violent tantrums, and for whatever reason enjoyed shouting at the neighbor’s dog and stepping( or at least trie …
How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselvesRead More