How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The Atlantic tells the story of serial con man Derek Alldred and his multiple romance scams

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For several years, Lovefraud posted articles about Derek Alldred, a con man who scammed women in Minnesota, Texas and other states. He posed as a war hero, physician, investment banker and more, scamming about a dozen women out of more than $1 million. The creep is finally in jail. And The Atlantic has written a comprehensive story of his exploits — and how his victims banded together to stop him. The perfect man who wasn't, on TheAtlantic.com. My comments on the article: Not once did the author mention any personality disorder. She made the statement that "America loves a con man." Because Alldred impersonated a Navy SEAL, he was investigated by NCIS. That's the first time I …

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How could such a wonderful young man turn into an evil sociopath?

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Editors note: Here's a letter Lovefraud received from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte18." Donna Andersen's response follows the letter. About a year ago, my husband was arrested for kidnapping a couple of friends of ours. Since then, I have been discovering so many other nefarious things he was doing behind my back, such as stealing money for a living, having relations with other men, committing tax fraud, and the list goes on. As I look back on our relationship, nearly every one of the items you listed on your checklist ring true for our relationship, but I was very blind to them before his arrest, except for the gaslighting. I called him out on that about three months before his …

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To recover from the sociopath, and protect yourself from another one, work on relieving your emotional tension

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/rJNFeHHGGN4"] Over the weekend Terry, my husband, and I watched The Zookeeper's Wife, a movie is set in Warsaw, Poland, during World War II. It tells the true story of how after animals at the Warsaw Zoo were bombed and shot, the couple that ran the zoo used the property to hide Jews from the Nazis until they could be transported to safety. It's a good movie, but as you can imagine, it is tense and emotional. My reaction to the film, plus the normal stress of daily life, made it difficult for me to sleep. Perhaps the connection I felt to the movie was a distant memory — if you've read my book, Love Fraud, you may remember that I describe how I learned a …

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Red flags that a gold digger may have targeted your elderly parent or friend

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Many sociopaths (although not all of them) target romantic partners to swindle them out of money. Lovefraud's research shows that most sociopaths continue their manipulative behavior as long as they live. That means senior sociopaths may target other seniors. They may proclaim their love, in order to access the victim's money, home or pension. Jean Mignolet, a private investigator in Florida, where lots of seniors live, recently posted an article about spotting the warning signs of a gold digger. Some are: Ambiguity — the con artist glosses over important information about temselves Significant age difference — especially they met online Moving too fast —rushing important life d …

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Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz — psychopath, psychotic or traumatized?

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Another school shooting. Last week, Nikolas Cruz, 19, shot up his former school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida. He killed 17 people and wounded 14 more. In the initial reporting about the incident, none of the students who knew Cruz were surprised. They feared him and mostly stayed away from him. The New York Times reported: "A lot of people were saying that it would be him," the student told WFOR-TV. "They would say he would be the one to shoot up the school. Everyone predicted it." Why would the entire school population predict that Cruz would grab a gun and kill people? The kids knew about his rants and fascination with violence. The Washington Post reported …

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How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselves

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On Quora.com, people can post questions for others to answer. Here's one question that was posted: How do psychopaths behave as children, especially around other children their age? So far, 13 people have answered the question — most of them self-identifying as psychopaths. The responses are fascinating. Here's an example: I was independent, yes. Behaved very well around my parents and other figures of authority, because behaving well meant that I could get away with more if I were caught. I stole, lied, manipulated “friends” into giving me what they want, made threats, threw violent tantrums, and for whatever reason enjoyed shouting at the neighbor’s dog and stepping( or at least trie …

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Sociopaths, information and power — what you need to know

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I clearly remember the words of my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery: "Information is power." Sociopaths don't really interact with others — they look for ways to exert power and control over the rest of us. Information, Montgomery understood very well, gave him the ability to manipulate, deceive and exploit me and others. Let's take a close look at how sociopaths acquire and use information at various stages of a romantic relationship. Advance preparation If you're looking for romance online, you've probably heard about how to protect yourself when you meet an online date in person. But what's more important is protecting yourself when you create your profile. When s …

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To Mom and Dad: 9 reasons why your son or daughter fell for the sociopath

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Dear Parents of a Lovefraud Target, Your son or daughter has now come to the brutal realization that the entire relationship was a scam. Perhaps you've had your suspicions for a while. Perhaps you've even tried to tell your kid that the partner was no good, but he or she wouldn't listen to you. Now everything has collapsed, and you can't understand why your son or daughter didn't see it coming. Please understand that sociopaths are professional con artists, and they are really, really good at what they do. In fact, they spend their entire lives perfecting their craft. Following are nine reasons why your son or daughter fell for it. 1. Your son or daughter didn't know …

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Kaitlyn Conley, 24, sentenced to 23 years for killing her boss

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Kaitlyn Conley, 24, was sentenced to 23 years in prison for fatally poisoning her boss. The victim was Mary Yoder, 60, of Whitesboro, New York, a chiropractor. Yoder was also the mother of Conley's ex-boyfriend. During the sentencing, William Yoder, the victim's husband, said Kaitlyn Conley "had a fight with my son … and then murdered his mother." Kaitlyn Conley sentenced to 23 years for the death of her ex-boyfriend's mother, on NewYorkUpstate.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader, who was a relative of the victim.       . …

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10 lessons from the mistakes we made with sociopaths

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Many years ago, I attended a workshop presented by Patricia Sun, a pioneer of the self-awareness movement. One of the things she talked about was shifting our views about making mistakes. We tend to fear making mistakes, and when we do make mistakes, we berate ourselves. But in reality, mistakes are a part of life. There are no instruction manuals for most of the choices we make. Life, therefore, is a series of decisions made mostly by trial and error. We never progress in a straight line towards out goals. We have false starts and detours, but with time and persistence, we get to where we want to go. Patricia Sun talked about viewing mistakes as opportunities to make course corrections. …

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