Donna Andersen, Author at Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

Red flags that a gold digger may have targeted your elderly parent or friend

February 24, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

Many sociopaths (although not all of them) target romantic partners to swindle them out of money. Lovefraud's research shows that most sociopaths continue their manipulative behavior as long as they live. That means senior sociopaths may target other seniors. They may proclaim their love, in order to access the victim's money, home or pension. Jean Mignolet, a private investigator in Florida, where lots of seniors live, recently posted an article about spotting the warning signs of a gold digger. Some are: Ambiguity — the con artist glosses over important information about temselves Significant age difference — especially they met online Moving too fast —rushing important life d …

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Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz — psychopath, psychotic or traumatized?

February 19, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Another school shooting. Last week, Nikolas Cruz, 19, shot up his former school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida. He killed 17 people and wounded 14 more. In the initial reporting about the incident, none of the students who knew Cruz were surprised. They feared him and mostly stayed away from him. The New York Times reported: "A lot of people were saying that it would be him," the student told WFOR-TV. "They would say he would be the one to shoot up the school. Everyone predicted it." Why would the entire school population predict that Cruz would grab a gun and kill people? The kids knew about his rants and fascination with violence. The Washington Post reported …

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How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselves

February 7, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

On Quora.com, people can post questions for others to answer. Here's one question that was posted: How do psychopaths behave as children, especially around other children their age? So far, 13 people have answered the question — most of them self-identifying as psychopaths. The responses are fascinating. Here's an example: I was independent, yes. Behaved very well around my parents and other figures of authority, because behaving well meant that I could get away with more if I were caught. I stole, lied, manipulated “friends” into giving me what they want, made threats, threw violent tantrums, and for whatever reason enjoyed shouting at the neighbor’s dog and stepping( or at least trie …

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Sociopaths, information and power — what you need to know

February 5, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

I clearly remember the words of my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery: "Information is power." Sociopaths don't really interact with others — they look for ways to exert power and control over the rest of us. Information, Montgomery understood very well, gave him the ability to manipulate, deceive and exploit me and others. Let's take a close look at how sociopaths acquire and use information at various stages of a romantic relationship. Advance preparation If you're looking for romance online, you've probably heard about how to protect yourself when you meet an online date in person. But what's more important is protecting yourself when you create your profile. When s …

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To Mom and Dad: 9 reasons why your son or daughter fell for the sociopath

January 26, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

Dear Parents of a Lovefraud Target, Your son or daughter has now come to the brutal realization that the entire relationship was a scam. Perhaps you've had your suspicions for a while. Perhaps you've even tried to tell your kid that the partner was no good, but he or she wouldn't listen to you. Now everything has collapsed, and you can't understand why your son or daughter didn't see it coming. Please understand that sociopaths are professional con artists, and they are really, really good at what they do. In fact, they spend their entire lives perfecting their craft. Following are nine reasons why your son or daughter fell for it. 1. Your son or daughter didn't know …

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Kaitlyn Conley, 24, sentenced to 23 years for killing her boss

January 24, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

Kaitlyn Conley, 24, was sentenced to 23 years in prison for fatally poisoning her boss. The victim was Mary Yoder, 60, of Whitesboro, New York, a chiropractor. Yoder was also the mother of Conley's ex-boyfriend. During the sentencing, William Yoder, the victim's husband, said Kaitlyn Conley "had a fight with my son … and then murdered his mother." Kaitlyn Conley sentenced to 23 years for the death of her ex-boyfriend's mother, on NewYorkUpstate.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader, who was a relative of the victim. . …

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10 lessons from the mistakes we made with sociopaths

January 22, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Many years ago, I attended a workshop presented by Patricia Sun, a pioneer of the self-awareness movement. One of the things she talked about was shifting our views about making mistakes. We tend to fear making mistakes, and when we do make mistakes, we berate ourselves. But in reality, mistakes are a part of life. There are no instruction manuals for most of the choices we make. Life, therefore, is a series of decisions made mostly by trial and error. We never progress in a straight line towards out goals. We have false starts and detours, but with time and persistence, we get to where we want to go. Patricia Sun talked about viewing mistakes as opportunities to make course corrections. …

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How do I forgive myself for staying in a relationship with a sociopath?

January 15, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 9 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the following email: I suspected that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath, but your website confirmed it. I always thought that sociopaths were murderers like Ted Bundy or Casey Anthony, but I realize now that the vast majority lead "normal" lives (whatever that means). I'm a divorced mom with a precious little daughter. My ex boyfriend was the first man I dated after a long and abusive marriage to an alcoholic. I was with my ex boyfriend a little over 2 years, although he exhibited signs of sociopathic (or what I considered narcissistic) behavior, including chronic infidelity, pathological lying, a grandiose sense of self, a total lack of empathy (particularly …

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Introducing a FREE 30-day mind/body recovery program, created by a Lovefraud reader

January 10, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/6nSk1uPm1X0"] Roxana D recently escaped a traumatic situation — one that many, many Lovefraud readers can identify with. While in the midst of it, she experienced worrisome physical symptoms — blackouts, heart palpitations, panic attacks. To get through her troublesome journey, she is using calming mind/body techniques and exercises. Roxana now wants to share her healing journey with Lovefraud readers. Roxana is creating a 30-day Self-Love and Healing Video Series. When I saw her videos, I thought that they would be truly helpful for many Lovefraud readers. Roxana uses simple yoga and meditation techniques and movements that anyone can do — altho …

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12 years later, Phil Haberman still pretends to be military

January 9, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Sociopaths just don't quit. Back in 2006, Lovefraud profiled Phil Haberman, who claimed to be special forces (a lie), claimed to have suffered war injuries in Iraq (a lie), and convinced the military to pay him money he didn't deserve (the truth). Over the years, Lovefraud has periodically heard from people who had tangled with Haberman. He frequently created fundraising campaigns for sick or injured dogs that were nothing but scams. Well, Haberman was still at it during Hurricane Harvey, which struck Texas in September. He showed up as a volunteer rescuer, convinced authorities — at least temporarily — that he was military. He took charge of a dozen volunteers, shut down a highway, lau …

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recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”