How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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12 Reasons to forgive yourself for falling for the sociopath

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Once I figured out that my entire relationship was a scam, the person I was most angry with was myself. I really beat myself up. Why did I fall for the lies? Why was I such a chump? Sound familiar? Since my disastrous experience with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, one of the most important things that I've learned about tangling with sociopaths is that we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves for believing them. We are not stupid. We are normal, empathetic people who didn't stand a chance against skilled predators, and here's a dozen reasons why: 1 . No one told us about sociopaths. In school, church, college or even magazine articles, we never learned that there are …

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No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victim

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Tyler17." My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed. She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off …

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Another twist on love scams: Notices from the “Bureau of Customs”

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Lots of men and women in the Philippines look for foreign romantic partners — and end up getting scammed. Here's how it works: Scammer claims to be from Australia, the United Kingdom or the United States and pursues an online relationship with the target. Scammer claims to send a package of expensive gifts to the target, like laptops, smartphones or designer bags. A few days later, target receives an email, supposedly from the Bureau of Customs, informing him or her of taxes and duties that need to be paid. It comes complete with official-looking documents. Target sends money to the designated bank account, which, of course, belongs to the scammer. Money is gone. BoC caut …

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Western Australian police quit saving people from romance scams

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Project Sunbird, a joint operation between the Western Australian police and Consumer Protection departments, had been identifying 53 new romance scam victims a month by analyzing financial data. They were sending money to con artists in Nigeria, Sierra Leone, Ghana, togo and Benin. According to PerthNow.com.au, 75% of the victims stopped sending money after receiving a warning letter from Consumer Protection. Of those that persisted, 40% stopped after receiving a second letter. But the new Western Australia police commissioner, Chris Dawson, killed the project because of "resource priorities." WA Police handball romance scam investigations, on PerthNow.com.au. …

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Harvey Weinstein’s psychopathic behavior

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Like much of America, I've been watching the Harvey Weinstein scandal unfold, appalled but not surprised. More than 40 women have now accused the famous and powerful movie producer, whose films have won 81 Oscars, of sexual harassment and even rape. The Weinstein Company, which he co-founded, fired him. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences threw him out. The Los Angeles police have opened an investigation. Still, Hollywood has always been about starlets who want to make it big and powerful men who took advantage of them — that's why everyone knows about the "casting couch." So I wondered — was Weinstein just a prolific user of the couch, or was he disordered? The answer came in …

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9 Questions to help you discern if your caring, helpful partner is faking it

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She makes you drinks and home-cooked meals. He cuts your lawn and fixes your car. Your new romantic interest just can't seem to do enough for you. You never felt so cared for. It must be love! Maybe it is. Or maybe it's a sociopath who is trying to soften you up for later exploitation. I've often written on Lovefraud that sociopaths do not have the ability to be caregivers. Many readers find this confusing — the sociopath they know was always doing things for them. So let me explain. First, some background. Three components of romantic love The core of sociopathic personality disorders is an inability to love. What, exactly does this mean? Scientists have determined that r …

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‘Alertas Rojas de Estafa Amorosa’ ha sido seleccionado para ‘Mes Indie’ en Amazon!

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Amazon quiere celebrar el fenómeno de la autopublicación por todo lo alto, por lo que estan organizando el “Mes Indie”, una promoción especial de libros Kindle en español que celebran mundialmente del 1 al 31 de octubre. "Alertas rojas de estafa amorosa — 10 señales de que estás saliendo con un sociópata", por Donna Andersen, ha sido seleccionado para la promoción. Este libro revela, por primera vez, las tácticas de los depredadores sociales que buscan relaciones sentimentales no por amor, sino para explotación. Este libro explica cómo los sociópatas seducen a sus víctimas, por qué es difícil escapar de las relaciones, y cómo las personas pueden protegerse. Durante todo el mes de octubre, …

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5 reasons why antisocials are great actors

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Last week Lovefraud published an article by Eleanor Cowan entitled, When sociopaths use righteous indignation to exert control. In it, Eleanor relates how her fiance twisted her comment about a pedophile priest into an opportunity to establish his moral superiority over her. The fiance, of course, was disordered and a pedophile himself, but Eleanor didn't know it at the time. He convinced her that he was a righteous, religious man. A Lovefraud reader commented on the post: This article really is a perfect example of how they manipulate you – what I want to know is HOW is it they are so believable? How come they are such good actors?? I would think the average non sociopathic person would …

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Women allegedly betrayed by philandering Air Force colonel petition for official investigation – you can help!

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Military officers are held to a higher standard of behavior than the general public. Military law criminalizes "conduct unbecoming of an officer" such as adultery — that is, if the law is enforced. One woman thought she was in a genuine romantic relationship with a lieutenant colonel in the Air National Guard — also a doctor — until three years later when she learned that she was just one of many. She says the lieutenant colonel used "military assignments" as excuses to juggle the women. She says he even rotated the women at Air National Guard events, and none of his fellow officers called him out. Read her story here: Part 1: Nina's Story — A charismatic doctor and lieutenant colone …

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Bikers protect kids who must testify against abusers

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/c-5X5LSInEo"] Guardians of the Children is a biker organization that protects victims of child abuse. When a child must testify agains an abuser in court, the bikers escort the child to the courthouse, keep the child surrounded, and sit in the courtroom during the testimony. Their actions make the children feel protected. This organization is based in San Antonio, Texas, and has chapters in 20 states. I would like to see them everywhere. More information: Guardians of the Children …

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