Invariably, once we realize we've been conned by a psychopath, this person has lied to us from the very beginning, and we fell for all of it, we ask why? Why did we believe? Why did we trust? The short answer is that we did what we, as social animals, are biologically designed to do. Human beings have evolved over millennia to live in community, and trust is the glue that holds us together. I read The Moral Molecule the source of love and prosperity, by Paul J. Zak. Zak spent 10 years researching a brain chemical called oxytocin and its role in human behavior. He says oxytocin inspires trust; trust is connected to morality; and morality is connected to the survival of the human …
Derek Alldred scams eight women of hundreds of thousands of dollars and skips sentencing hearing
Derek Alldred, a con artist who claimed to be everything from a doctor to a Navy SEAL to an investment banker for the Royal Bank of Scotland, has scammed at least eight women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. His most recent victim, Â a woman from Arizona, met Alldred on a dating site. Alldred stole her jewelry and pawned it, then pleaded no contest to the crime. Alldred pleaded no contest to theft charges and was supposed to be sentenced on December 13 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He never showed up for the hearing, and his victims fear that Alldred will just find more targets. Watch the video: Swindler exposed by KARE 11 is on the run, on KARE11.com. Here's a detailed, …
I will never forget how he looked at me – I felt I was standing in front of the devil
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call Gemma, who lives in England. Names have been changed. In August 2015 I was contacted on one of the pen pal websites by a guy named Brad, from a village in Michigan. Brad is a 35 year old veteran who works part time as a mechanic. He is also a village council trustee, with ambitions to become a village president one day. We started talking on a daily basis, He was very charming and entertaining and seemed very reliable, always responding to my messages almost instantly. Brad told me that he was married for the second time and his wife was pregnant. He said that although his current wife was better than the …
I will never forget how he looked at me – I felt I was standing in front of the devilRead More
Classic sociopathic father: Lies, manipulation, gaslighting, and finally the truth is revealed
[youtube_sc url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKtYJyhTe40" title="How%20do%20I%20avoid%20dating%20a%20sociopath%20like%20my%20father?"] A young woman who posts on Lovefraud as "Butterfly" first contacted me in August. She had recognized that her boyfriend was disordered. She also realized that her father was disordered, which set her up to tolerate the lying, cheating boyfriend. We exchanged emails several times over the last few months. She asked excellent questions, and I made two "Letters to Lovefraud" videos to answer them, which are included in this post. With her permission, I've reproduced our email exchange. Her experience illustrates the confusing and painful experience of a …
To better protect victims, UK strengthens stalking laws
Four years ago, a new stalking law enabled prosecutors in England and Wales to charge offenders with stalking, even when their behavior falls short of creating a fear of violence in the victim. The idea was to stop stalking behavior, especially in domestic violence cases, before it escalated. Authorities have announced new orders that extends the law so that it protects people who are being stalked by strangers. Police can apply to the courts for orders to make stalkers stay away from their victims, before the stalker has been convicted, or even arrested. Stalking: New orders planned to give quick protection, on BBC.com. New stalking legislation helps to bring thousands more prosecutions …
To better protect victims, UK strengthens stalking lawsRead More
Q&A with attorney Megan Lyons, an expert in court battles with sociopaths
Megan Lyons, Esq., who is based in Sarasota, Florida, is the newest member of the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? I have dealt with pathological sociopaths for most of my life in my personal experience, romantically and in the professional arena. As a result of these life changing experiences and relationships, I committed years to studying sociopathy and the recovery from such insidious and sadistic abuse. How do you go about helping clients who have tangled with a sociopath? Because of my personal experience with sociopaths, I am able to provide genuine em …
Q&A with attorney Megan Lyons, an expert in court battles with sociopathsRead More
Sociopaths: Breaking hearts for fun and pleasure
Lovefraud recently heard from a woman in England; we'll call her Suzie. Suzie met a man on LargeFriends.com who said his name was Mike. Mike lived in Oregon, which was 5,000 miles away. Yet they quickly developed a rapport, and within weeks Mike was sending Suzie cards, e-cards, e-mails, drawings and stories written just for her. About a month after they first made contact, Mike declared his love for Suzie—even though they had never met. They exchanged their phone numbers and addresses. They talked on the phone for hours and bought webcams so they could see each other. Mike told Suzie he abhorred infidelity, which was the reason why he wasn't married at age 45—he intended to marry only onc …
“Woman chained like a dog” case: How can we protect ourselves from people who are pure evil?
Todd Christopher Kohlhepp, 45, of Moore, South Carolina was denied bail yesterday after being charged with kidnapping and murder. Last week, news broke that a woman had been found alive in a metal storage container on a rural property in Woodruff, South Carolina. According to the Spartanburg sheriff, she'd been in the container for two months, chained by her neck "like a dog." Kala Brown, 30, along with her boyfriend, Charles Carver, 32, had been missing since late August. Brown and Carver went to the 95-acre property, owned by Kohlhepp, to do work for him, and when they arrived, Brown said, Kohlhepp shot Carver. His body was just found. Brown told authorities that four more people …
New research on why people who tell small lies graduate to big lies
An article in the New York Times reviews new research on how the brain reacts to lies. Essentially, when someone continues to lie, "the negative emotional signals initially associated with lying decrease as the brain becomes desensitized." Why big liars often start out as small ones, on NYTimes.com. The story did not say that the research had anything to do with personality disorders. But it certainly makes sense with sociopaths — the more they lie, the easier it becomes, and they tell more lies. And then there's this sociopaths like the sense of power and control that they experience when people believe their lies. So not only does the negative reinforcement fade, but the positive rein …
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Donald Trump’s abusive behavior triggers PTSD – and so does Hillary Clinton’s
Presidential nominee Donald Trump went to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, on Saturday, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of America's Civil War, supposedly to outline his plans for his first 100 days in office. But first, he said he'd sue the women who accused him of groping or kissing them without their consent. Typical abusive behavior Trump denied and threatened. That's the typical behavior of an abuser and it's triggering symptoms of PTSD in women who have endured sexual assault and/or relationships with sociopaths. A Lovefraud reader wrote: I wanted to bring up something that has been happening and it's alarming. Â While Trump has been campaigning for president, it has caused …
Donald Trump’s abusive behavior triggers PTSD – and so does Hillary Clinton’sRead More