How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Letters to Lovefraud: He flat out admits he is a sociopath

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by 26 year-old Lovefraud reader “Clarissa.” Names have been changed. My name is Clarissa. I have just ended a relationship with someone who I believe is a sociopath. I'm having a difficult time accepting and trying to understand this relationship and getting over the events that occurred. Reconnecting with Blain after so many years I will call my ex “Blain.” I had dated him briefly in high school and broke up with him. He randomly contacted me online 9 years later and was very persistent in me going for a coffee with him. At first I ignored him but when I saw he kept messaging me I said ok, I ended up meeting him and didn't think anything …

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Research on trusting your gut

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Lovefraud advocates trusting your gut, instincts or intuition when it comes to romantic relationships. Jim McNulty, a psychology professor at Florida State University, just published research that tested how "automatic attitudes" and "semi-conscious attitudes" predicted long-term happiness in romantic relationships. Gut feelings might be best predictors of marital bliss, on IndividualHealthNews.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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Sociopaths and the three components of love

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Last week, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I traded colds. I got sick first, and Terry made chicken soup and did what he could to make me feel comfortable. Then, despite my best efforts to keep my germs to myself, Terry got sick. By this time I was feeling better. So I went to the store and bought cold medicine, tissues and orange juice, because I'd used everything up. I made him chicken soup. I even made him a pot of chili. As I did all this, I noticed a warm feeling within me. It was the joy of taking care of someone I loved. I was concerned about his health and wellbeing. I was happy and energized to help him. It was a feeling sociopaths never experience. Three behavioral …

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Shellie Zimmerman, George Zimmerman’s estranged wife, speaks out about abuse

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George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, 17, in Sanford, Florida, the night of February 26, 2012. Despite the media circus that followed, and Zimmerman's high-profile trial last summer that ended with his acquittal, I have never written about this case. Although it was a big story, I wasn't sure it was a Lovefraud story. Most of the media attention focused on the racial aspects of the case. Most of the debate was on whether or not justice was served. Neither of these issues necessarily correlates with sociopathy. There were a few hints that Zimmerman had sociopathic traits. In fact, a writer by the name of Shawn James did a good job of outlining them in his blog article, Why I …

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What’s in Alec Baldwin’s wallet? Not pledge support from WNYC member

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Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Jennifer." "Alec Baldwin can always be counted on to give a good performance, whether on television or on the witness stand, and his testimony in State Supreme Court in Manhattan on Tuesday was no exception." That's a quote from the New York Times article about Alec Baldwin's stalking case entitled, In Court, Baldwin Tells of a Stalker 'Out of Hitchcock.' According to the article, Mr. Baldwin alleges that he has been "harassed" and "stalked" by a woman he "painted" as "...both delusional and dangerous."  And, while it appears that the woman's behavior has certainly been extreme since their "meeting" …

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Narcissists at work

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A Lovefraud reader sent me a link to a free e-book. The reader's only comment was, "ugh."  Here's the book: The Upside of Narcissism in the Workplace The book was created by Hogan Assessment Systems. On its website, this company says, "Hogan uses the powerful science of personality assessment to help you hire the right people, develop talented employees, build great leaders, and impact the bottom line." I downloaded the e-book. It's very short only nine pages. It points out that young people in general exhibit more narcissism than in the past, but in "controlled doses," narcissism may be good for an employee's career. The e-book points out the potential pitfalls of narcissism. …

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Three-part series on the criminal brain of sociopaths

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NPR radio explores the criminal brain in this three-part series of reports. Part One:  A Neuroscientist Uncovers A Dark Secret James Fallon, a  neuroscientist at the University of California-Irvine, believes that psychopathic tendencies may be passed through the DNA of family members and that upbringing can determine if the tendencies get triggered. Part Two: Inside A Psychopath's Brain: The Sentencing Debate Kent Kiehl, a professor at the University of New Mexico, reports that some psychopaths are born with certain parts of their brain not working like the brains of non-psychopaths. For example,  their emotional circuit does not engage in the same way as non-psychopaths and therefore wha …

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Brains and bad behavior

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Many research studies show that the brains of sociopaths are different from the brains of non-disordered people. Does this mean they are responsible for their bad behavior, or not? Adrian Raine, a neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania, and Sally Satel, a psychiatrist and American Enterprise Institute scholar, debate the issue. Can brain scans explain crime? on WashingtonPost.com.   …

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Sociopaths and soul mates

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I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. Her …

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