By | December 16, 2013 23 Comments

True recovery from the sociopath through tapping and energy psychology

I believe true recovery from sociopathic betrayal is literally in our own hands.

Many people have quietly become aware of a healing technique known by several names: tapping, energy psychology, emotional freedom technique (EFT).  Using this approach, many people have recovered from emotional pain, physical pain, illness, anxiety, depression and PTSD.

So what is it? With your fingers, you tap certain points on your body mostly on your face while bringing to mind specific aspects of the condition that you want to heal. The tapping creates an electrical charge that breaks the connection between your memory of your experience and how you feel today.

It doesn’t matter when the past experience happened. I’ve often written here on Lovefraud that sociopaths come into our lives because of a pre-existing vulnerability. We have suffered a previous hurt, betrayal or misunderstanding, and the trauma is still buried in our subconscious. Sociopaths, with their uncanny ability to discover our vulnerabilities, use them to hook us.

Tapping enables us to not only recover from our most recent betrayals, but from the long-buried injuries as well.

Tapping Solution

A new book called The Tapping Solution: A revolutionary system for stress-free living,  by Nick Ortner, was released last year. It’s now a best-seller.

The reason I’m posting about this now is because you can see The Tapping Solution movie online for free until December 20, 2013. In the movie, you can follow as 10 ordinary people with a variety of problems grief, fibromyalgia, fear, anxiety, pain learn how to use the tapping technique, and how it helps them. The movie also includes interviews with doctors, researchers and practitioners of tapping.

Watch the movie here:

The Tapping Solution screening

The movie is about an hour and a half long. You’ll get an overview of the tapping technique, and explanation from several experts of how and why it works, and see how the 10 ordinary people used it for their own healing.

Promise of Energy Psychology

I haven’t yet read The Tapping Solution, but I read another book on the topic called The Promise of Energy Psychology, by David Feinstein, Donna Eden and Gary Craig. I was so thoroughly impressed by the book that I became convinced that this approach is the future of healing.

Energy psychology, Feinstein explains, is a combination of ancient Eastern techniques for shifting the energies of the body and conventional Western ideas in psychology. When you use the technique, you are tapping on special acupuncture points to change your conditioned responses. Feinstein writes:

Stimulating energy points on the skin, paired with specified mental activities, can instantly shift your brain’s electrochemistry to:

  • help overcome unwanted emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, jealousy, or anger,
  • help change unwanted habits and behavior, and
  • enhance you abilities to love, succeed, and enjoy life.

Feinstein isn’t a New Age charlatan. He is trained as a clinical psychologist and spent seven years on the faculty at Johns Hopkins University. Here’s his website:

One of the really difficult psychological problems that energy psychology has proven to resolve is PTSD — post-traumatic stress disorder. How does it do this? It breaks the connection between a trigger and the body’s autonomic nervous system, which generates the fight, flight or freeze responses. For this reason alone, I believe any Lovefraud reader who is suffering from PTSD should investigate energy psychology.

Tapping is easy. You can do it as often as necessary, and it can’t hurt you. You don’t even have to believe in tapping for it to work. Once you learn the technique, you can do it yourself, which makes it free.

If you have severe psychological problems, you should probably consult with a trained practitioner. You can find them here:

Energy Psychology Practitioners and Organizations

Why tapping works

Here’s what I really like about this tapping technique it’s founded in science, although not necessarily conventional science.

As part of The Tapping Solution video event, the author posted a half-hour video interview with Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist and best-selling author. I actually liked this interview better than the movie, because Lipton explains, from a scientific perspective, how our mind works and how we can use our mind to heal ourselves.


A Conversation with Bruce Lipton

I am so impressed with Bruce Lipton’s explanation of how our mind determines our biology that I will post another video tomorrow in which he goes into even greater detail about the science of it.

This technique works

Tapping can relieve emotional and physical pain, which is huge. But it can also do more.

EFT tapping can help you achieve personal goals that require peak performance. In fact, the Energy Psychology book contains several examples of competitive athletes who enhanced their skills through tapping.

Tapping can help you anytime you need to be at your best, such as during a presentation. That’s how I’ve used it.

All my life, I never thought of myself as a public speaker. But since my run-in with a sociopath, and after learning so much about the disorder, I now have something important to say. That means I’ve had to become comfortable with getting up in front of people and speaking, which, as you probably know, many people fear more than death.

So I used tapping to alleviate my stress about public speaking and increase my comfort level. I’ve also used tapping to deal with remnants of the pain about my losses due to the sociopath, which still, 13 years after my divorce, occasionally crop up.

I can say that tapping works.

Help me do research

So why haven’t you heard of tapping before? Because big pharmaceutical companies and medical organizations have no incentive to tell you about it.

Much of today’s medical research is either done or paid for by pharmaceutical companies. Energy psychology and energy medicine do not need drugs! If everyone used the self-healing techniques of energy, Big Pharma companies would out of business.

I  believe tapping and energy psychology have tremendous potential as techniques for healing from the betrayal of the sociopath. However, I don’t yet have data to back up this belief. So can you please help me with research?

If you try tapping, let me know how it works for you. Does it dissipate your emotional pain? Does it relieve your physical pain? Perhaps you can even keep a journal of your use of EFT tapping and the results.

If tapping is really a solution, I want to tell everyone that it works.



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Beautifully written, full of information, well-done. Thank you, Donna.

As someone who has used EFT for more than 8 years, I can tell you that it works. And it’s true that you don’t even have to believe in it for it to help you. If someone on this website wants to get well, try it. Use it consistently for a month. Your only regret is that you didn’t know about it sooner.



I am so glad you brought this therapy to Lovefraud…..I was searching through YouTube for sleep and healing hypnosis videos. I was using them but always looked for different styles and found they really do help. As I was searching, I came across the EFT therapy and was intrigued just as you were.

I had broke with my sp and was in NC and it was the first week so I was also in very strong emotional pain. I had been crying and actually was sitting in my car going through the videos. I decided to try it and found relief immediately. I know that sounds odd but I am a skeptic by heart but I will say it really did help! I felt a sense of relief and calmness, felt stronger as if I could find my way through the pain. I followed the advice on how to perform EFT.

I then looked up the therapy online and found more videos that worked on all the above points you mentioned. It was empowering to do the therapy. I must say that it did help along with all the other therapy I was doing, Lovefraud, therapist, reading and applying.

But the outstanding thing about the EFT tapping was the immediate relief I had and how I feel it helped me to “keep calm and carry on”….especially when I was in the worst of the storm..

It does re-wire your brain as it claims. Thanks for the information!!


I am most eager to try it after the holidays! To date, all I can add is that writing my memoires has accomplished many of the same things tapping claims to do. But putting things down on paper may not be everyone’s cup of tea and it is surely more time consuming. I have found that in re-living the past, many long fogotten and repressed memories have been uncovered, re-analyzed and now all those years of unanswered questions which nearly drove me crazy fit nicely into the puzzle. Many thanks to the Lovefraud community for making this introspection solve most hitherto mysteries which always hung heavily on my mind and nearly drove me crazy.


Interesting that you have written about this. Tapping was suggested to me a few years ago by a friend who is a naturopathic Doctor. I wonder if it could help me change my attitude about dating? I am lonely but I am also stuck and fearful to ever even try again. I have a very low tolerance for hurt or disappointment from men these days. In so many ways I have recovered but in some areas, I am frozen.



I believe that alot of hurt and disappointment comes from a certain amount of dependency, whether it be financial, physical and emotional. I would strongly urge you to follow the advice given by so many women in longterm relationships/marriages who claim their relationship successes have a lot to do with the fact that they still maintained their own income, bank accounts etc., and individuality. The moment you feel that you must fulfill a mate’s wishes, your own personage becomes eroded.


Thanks Flicka

Yes my comment was off topic and delisted but my intended goal was to warn of a serious danger. Back on topic I believe any functional therapy should be attempted. I will do more research on this posted topic and make a suggestion of my own. I suggest a therapy dog. I have a small maltese and she provides so much love. If allowed I would like to open a future topic about therapy dogs.


I’m a big believer in energy work, but I also believe that there are many different ways to move energy – including talking, massage, writing, tapping, Reiki, and prayer. I have only tried tapping a few times, probably not enough to notice any results. But I know people who swear by it. Is there a good online tutorial for how to do it that can be viewed at no cost? I wouldn’t mind giving it a try again. I have so much PTSD from childhood it sometimes feels insurmountable.


I was googling and found this entire set of tutorials for using EFT to deal with 14 different conditions. I watched several of these and followed along with them. I have to say I didn’t experience any benefit, but I haven’t thrown in the towel on this technique. I may just have a lot going on and I’m not noticing subtle energy shifts.
Anyway, if anyone wants to check it out, here is the link:–LD9Ocv8a7yZtg


Donna, the link I posted above contains 14 EFT videos with a guided practice for 14 different conditions. The conditions pretty much all comprise the different forms of neuroses or PTSD that most people suffer. Everything from depression to forgiveness to sleeping disorders to quitting smoking. Is this similar to the personal peace procedure? Going through one issue after another until they are fixed?

Even though it ‘seemed’ like the EFT was not working, I did notice a marked difference in my confidence in salsa classes today (I assist-teach two classes every week). I also felt more confident about some other areas of my life and generally had more energy today. Maybe it’s working on a subtle level and I just didn’t notice it. I will do a little more today. I will say that it seems the most important part is recognizing the feeling you are tapping. If you know you are angry or fearful and you can name it, you can tap it away. However, in my experience, if you can recognize the feeling and feel it fully, it usually shifts anyway. It’s the repression, suppression, or denial of feelings that causes the neurosis. In addition, I have found that I can notice a negative feeling but judge myself for having it. Rage is one I often judge myself for. But part of EFT is to clearly state that you accept yourself even while feeling whatever the negative feeling is. This helps to release it because you are accepting it and somehow keying the acceptance into your body. This is the best understanding I have for how and why this seems to work for people. Fascinating. I’m a big believer that “time” is a construct of the ego, and to say that healing must take a certain amount of time is a story made up by the ego. It doesn’t necessarily need to be true.


If you check out the various websites,you will see several different tapping methods empoloyed. I.e.all use the facial and collar bone points, but then some use grasping the wrist in place of the 4 fingers and some say “peace” in place of “even though I feel (this or that way), I truly and deeply love myself”. I wonder if one way is more effective than the other?


Flicka, it would seem that the exact wording of the affirmation is not as important as that you really feel it when you say it. It seems when I’ve put emotion into anything I say or visualize, it seems to bring about results faster. But I’m not the tapping expert. Can it work even if you are not feeling it? Can it work if you are not aware of what you are feeling?


Stargazer, I’m new to this so all input is welcomed. Your answer about the wording sounds logical though I somehow sense one has to conjure up one’s feeling in order for it to be effective. Likely because it changes one’s perception of the emotions involved?


That’s exactly my question. Is the mere verbalizing of the words enough to conjure up the feelings? Or do you actually have to feel it when you’re saying it?


The videos I’ve seen seem to indicate that should it seem to fail, another reason is that your statement may not be specific enough. Also, the change is almost imperceptable until one tries to conjure up the same images as before tapping.


I believe you must feel what you verbalise…but am no expert.


Okay, so I’ve been tapping every day based on the techniques in the videos I posted earlier. I do feel some subtle shifts afterward. No earth shattering results. I will keep doing it because I really think there is something to it. Also, therapy is very expensive.


I just had a session with an alternative medical practitioner that had elements of tapping but not exactly the same as this process. It was called emotional balancing. It was based on the 38 healing flowers and plants from Dr Bach. The individual body organs were accessed by tapping on the nerve and the flower extracts were applied by a laser technique. He also used colored glasses because he wanted me to look like Elton John. Just kidding. It seemed to help him to see how much of each flower I needed. He would explain what each one correlated to emotionally and how deeply it appears to have affected me. His observations were right on track regarding the emotional triggers and I validated each of his observations by explaining the situations a little. When I wondered if I was babbling he said – no that makes perfect sense. Anyway I have noticed some improvements and plan to order some of the herbs to take as drops. It was not expensive and I will recommend it to friends.


Okay, I won’t say tapping works and I won’t say it doesn’t. But I did it again tonight. I was dealing with some anger at myself and also some jealousy. I tapped for each one separately, and I did it only one time for each. And now I feel a lot better. So………? I will keep posting updates because I’ve been tapping every day. The method I’m using includes some eye movement, humming, and counting out loud. I do feel I am making progress, but it’s hard to tell if it’s the tapping or just getting in touch with the feelings.

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