How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Pain as motivation for freeing yourself from sociopaths

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On Monday, I posted an article entitled, Healing your addiction to sociopaths. In it, I offered three steps for changing a pattern of falling in love with sociopaths. The steps are:  No Contact with the current sociopath Do not date anyone for the time being Heal the vulnerabilities The real work is in the third step healing your vulnerabilities. What I suggest sounds somewhat like the good advice that we get on many topics, like: Eat your vegetables Make time for regular exercise Cut down on sugar, carbs and alcohol Get enough sleep We all know we should do all these things, but do we do them? How often do we skip going to the gym, or pour ourselves another …

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A mostly accurate portrayal of sociopaths/stalkers

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In Gold Bar, a tiny town in the state of Washington (population 2,075), the local news website posted an article entitled The Mind of the Stalker.  It's unclear who wrote the article, because there is no byline. The author describes the behavior of stalkers, writing that many of them are textbook sociopaths. Most of the article is accurate, and is drawn from the work of experts, such as Dr. Robert D. Hare and Dr. Hervey Cleckley. I disagree with a few statements, such as "they cannot control their behavior." But I'm glad to see that someone in this tiny town outside of Seattle is trying to alert the community to the social predators who live among us. I imagine that this person had a …

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Healing your addiction to sociopaths

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a woman whom we'll call "Peggy Sue." I feel hopeless. I'm a target for sociopaths, or I'm addicted to them. My ex-fiancé was one. I was with him 7 years and was abused everyway possible. I was so confused with the lies and double life. He said I was crazy and I went on tons of medication and was completely isolated. I finally was able to leave after 7 years with the help of police, only to move back to my dads with nothing and to start all over. A month later fell in love with another sociopath. My friends and family think I'm gonna end up dead by him or killing myself. I have been to therapy they all just say move out and leave. I …

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Keeping sociopaths out of the workplace

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At Lovefraud, most of the discussion is about sociopaths in romantic relationships. But here is a key concept to understand: Sociopaths don't just exploit romantic partners. They exploit everyone who crosses their paths, in all aspects of their lives. That includes everyone they work with or do business with. Forbes.com just posted the following article: How to screen out the sociopath job candidate The author, Rob Asghar, asked  Dr. Matha Stout the warning signs of a sociopath in a job interview. Number One on her list was overwhelming charm. Wow, that sounds familiar.     …

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Report on domestic violence and family courts

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The Wellesley Centers for Women has just released a new report, Family Court Approaches to Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse: Stakeholder Perceptions and Implications for Systemic Change. Researchers have been gathering data about how family courts see domestic violence cases, how the courts handle the cases, how often children are involved, and whether biases exist. It is the first field study of family courts in which judges, probation officers and litigants were surveyed simultaneously. Improving the court approach to domestic violence cases in the Massachusetts family courts, on WCWOnline.org.   …

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Sociopaths and their changing demands

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When you're dealing with sociopaths, figuring out what they really want is nearly impossible. Why? Because they keep changing what they want. When my ex-husband, James Montgomery, moved into my house, I agreed to convert my basement, which I used as a small gym, into an office for him. I put away my gym equipment. I hired builders to install more electric outlets to run his array of computers, televisions and business equipment, which required enclosing the lower part of the walls. Making the improvements, and installing a small bathroom downstairs, cost me $6,000. (He promised to pay me back, but of course he never did. When Montgomery first moved into the office, he was delighted. When …

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Love addiction with a sociopath

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/OYfoGTIG7pY"] According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain's reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video. Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can't get …

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The mind of a potential mass killer

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In the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut, a young man who at one point harbored similar thoughts sent an essay to The Daily Beast. I just found it, and even though the three-part essay is six months old, I believe Lovefraud readers will find it interesting and relevant. This anonymous young man eloquently explains why, as a teenager, he was filled with rage, and how he was able to turn his life around. The key reason is that his mother did not give up. I was Adam Lanza, on TheDailyBeast.com.   …

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New research shows that 1 in 3 women worldwide suffer intimate partner abuse

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According to the World Health Organization, 30 percent of the world's women experience physical or sexual abuse by a partner. And, a new study published in The Lancet says that 38.6 percent of female murder victims are killed by intimate partners. 1 in 3 women worldwide suffers abuse from partner, on KTUL.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.     …

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The sociopathic perspective

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Do sociopaths know what they are? Many, many Lovefraud readers ask me this question. The short answer is that some of them do and some of them don't. The man who sent me the following email certainly has insight into his own personality: I would like to thank you for making your videos they have given me an insight into how you people recognize us. WE are not to blame for your short comings because you are weak minded and foolish enough to be taken advantage of. We are evolutions next step we don't allow silly emotions to cloud our judgments. In fact we use our advantage for survival because we are natures next course. I know I sound very narcissistic and apologize for that but if you …

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