If you're like most Lovefraud readers, you're here because you were romantically involved with a sociopath. This person probably declared love for you repeatedly, exuberantly and convincingly. Then the individual lied to you, betrayed you, cheated on you, abused you and perhaps even threatened you. You were left stunned, distraught and devastated. How could someone who loved you treat you so badly? A letter Lovefraud received recently might help you understand why that person's love was so shallow: I have read several articles on your site out of curiosity and boredom over the past few weeks, and I agree with almost all of their content. If I weren't a sociopath I would probably find …
Minnesota Appellate Court overturns mom’s conviction for ‘deprivation of parental rights’
Caroline Rice and Brent Rice, of Chanhassen, Minnesota, divorced in 2004, and have been involved in custody battles over their five children ever since. Full custody was awarded to Brent Rice, even though the children said he was abusive. In 2010 the youngest child, 13 at the time, ran away, met up with her mother, and they fled to Canada. When Caroline Rice returned to the United States, she was charged with depriving parental rights. Last week, the Minnesota Court of Appeals overturned the conviction, saying that Judge Richard C. Perkins and prosecutors conspired to deprive Rice of her civil rights and access to due process. Update: Long custody battle produces guilty verdict, on …
Minnesota Appellate Court overturns mom’s conviction for ‘deprivation of parental rights’Read More
Saving the world from sociopaths
Last week, three teens from Oklahoma were charged with killing an Australian student athlete "for fun." Christopher Lane, 22, was visiting Duncan, Oklahoma, where his girlfriend lived. While he was jogging down the road, a car drove by him and Lane was shot in the back. Charged in the crime are Chancey Allen Luna, 16; James Francis Edwards Jr., 15; and Michael Dewayne Jones, 17. According to CBS News: "They saw Christopher go by, and one of them said: 'There's our target,'" said Police Chief Dan Ford. "The boy who has talked to us said, 'We were bored and didn't have anything to do, so we decided to kill somebody.'" Back in June, there was a similarly shocking case in Indiana. …
BOOK REVIEW: Escaping the Boy – My Life with a Sociopath
Many, many people tell me that they should write a book about their experiences with a sociopath. Paula Carrasquillo is one of those who have done it. Her novella, Escaping the boy: My life with a sociopath, is not long. The actual story is only about 50 pages, with plenty of white space. But in those few pages, Paula tells a powerful narrative of her disordered ex and the insanity she endured living with him. The way she does it is through carefully selected vignettes. She refers to her ex as "the boy," and to herself as "the woman." Some of the anecdotes portray the boy's life before the woman entered the picture. But most of them provide glimpses of his unreasonable demands, her …
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Dating again after the sociopath
Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as "Saskgirl:" I must say that your website is a lifesaver. It has helped me recover from a devastating relationship with a sociopath. It is amazing how many stories I read on your site and can totally identify with them. The people could be talking about the piece of garbage I was tangled up with. I have been single for about a year and a half and have spent a lot of that time healing and working on me. I am ready to start dating (I think) but I'm afraid that it will be disastrous for me. I was so emotionally wrecked that I'm terrified of being there again. I don't trust anyone and believe that just about every thing …
How psychopathic parents affect children
A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Mani" asked a question that I'm sure is of interest to many others, so I'll address it in a blog post. Mani writes: I was one of the children who lived with a psychopath for a long time. I fought all my life not to let him be a part of my personality. In comparison to what I was exposed to I think I have been successful. But is there anybody out there who can shed more light on the effects of a psychopath father on children, particularly boys? I know there is tendency to label these children as secondary psychopaths but I haven't seen anybody talking about the mechanics of it. And I am sure all these children don't become secondary psychopaths. This is a …
Introducing a new Lovefraud author: Quinn Pierce
Most of us are here at Lovefraud because we've had our lives ravaged by someone who we now realize is a sociopath. The experience of overwhelming deceit and intentional abuse is difficult to comprehend, much less describe. Trying to explain what happened, even to ourselves, leaves many of us at a loss for words. That's why it is so comforting to find the right words expressed by someone else. When another person precisely describes what we've lived through, it validates our own perceptions and lets us know that we aren't the only ones who have gone through such hell. Quinn Pierce, a writer and educator, has the gift of choosing the right words. That's why I am so pleased to announce that …
Sociopaths change how we look at the world
Most of us grow up believing that all people are created equal, that human beings are basically good, and everybody wants to be loved. These are the messages we learn in school, in church, and in the age of political correctness, from the media. These beliefs are the lenses through which we view the world and the people in it. Our beliefs influence how we perceive and understand the behavior of those we meet. And, for about 90 percent of the population, the beliefs work just fine. Bad treatment Then we realize that someone in our life isn't treating us well. We may think this person is reacting to our behavior, that we're doing something to provoke anger or elicit criticism after …
Military Lovefraud part 2: Woman outs scammer, he wants to talk anyway
When Debby Wadsworth of Minnesota posted an online profile, she immediately received inquiries from men claiming to be military. Being former military herself, she knew "GoodSoul87" wasn't what he claimed to be. She was right. He wasn't Staff Sgt. Ricky James. He was Fofo "Nathanial" Babington, an unemployed 26-year-old from Ghana. Story and video: Behind lonely troops lurks an online con featuring fake IDs, photos, on StarTribune.com. Interestingly, it sounds like Babington was using the same photo of a Sgt. James that Lovefraud posted almost two years ago. The POW Network was able to identify the real Sgt. James, and apparently his photo is one of the most frequently stolen for …
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Military Lovefraud part 1: Epidemic of romance scams
There is something about men in uniform — and perhaps women in uniform — that is appealing and romantic. Hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of scammers take advantage of military attraction to separate unsuspecting targets from their money. Here's how they work: Con artists working out of Internet cafes — often in Africa — troll through dating sites, Facebook and other websites, striking up acquaintances with lonely people, usually women. They talk about the dangerous but important work they do in Afghanistan, Iraq or other distant locations. They confess their feelings of love for their targets. Then they ask the targets for money to pay for "leave requests," "communication fees," "transp …
Military Lovefraud part 1: Epidemic of romance scamsRead More