I was going about the morning as usual, working on my next book, with CNN on in the background, when I heard what has to be the sociopathic quote of the year, "Nothing says I love you like a Glock." I have not shared much about my own experience with a sociopath, but one of the things I am most ashamed of is that I did not react more strongly to my former husband's preoccupation with guns. He did not personally own any gun, but he talked about them a great deal, and he was very persistent about the idea that I should learn how to shoot. He also wanted me to own a hand gun. I did take the NRA gun safety course and I learned how to shoot. I have to say, target practice was fun and I was good …
Inside the mind of a killer: What caused Hawkins to snap?
Yesterday a 19 y/o man named Robert Hawkins entered the Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska with an AK-47 assault rifle and killed eight people before killing himself. News commentators have been discussing what happened and several are discussing the question of whether he was depressed and taking antidepressants. I think people feel better blaming antidepressant medication for these incidents because it is too frightening to accept that there are so many sociopaths (with the potential for violence) living among us. Hawkins apparently had no arrest record prior to this event and was not known to be violent. At the time of the shooting he was living with the mother of a high school friend, …
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Choosing a love partner? Beware of The Dark Triad
Choosing a life partner is the most difficult task young adults face. Furthermore, due to mistakes in choices, older adults also find themselves single and choosing again. The desire to have a life partner comes from our needs for sex and companionship; but, given how difficult it is to compete in society, the desire for a mate also may be influenced by more practical matters. In choosing a mate, sexual attractiveness, compatibility and social status all factor in to the equation. To avoid a mistake, then, it is necessary to be aware how sexual attractiveness, compatibility and social status influence our choices, and to couple this awareness with an understanding of the qualities that make …
Psychopaths and sociopaths teach us about the importance of love bonds
I've been reviewing scientific studies for my next book on sociopathy and have found some fascinating research. A technology called fMRI enables scientists to monitor brain activity when people feel different emotions or do various tasks. A recent study has demonstrated that people high in trait sociopathy (psychopathy in the paper), experience no pleasure when cooperating with someone else, and no guilt at pursuing selfish goals at another's expense. Furthermore, when a sociopath gets over on someone his pleasure center lights up with activity. I know, we already knew this, but it is nice that scientists have correlated sociopathic behavior with specific brain areas. Love and moral …
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Sociopaths and Psychopaths: Have you no shame?
Shame, along with guilt, embarrassment and pride, is a moral emotion. Shame is the emotion we experience when we discover a defect in ourselves. The expression of shame is a submissive response. It is an acknowledgment to others of the defect and the decline in our status that results from the defect. This submissive response shows to others our attempts to conform, improve ourselves, apologize, and make amends. Early experts in psychopathy documented that the absence of shame is part of the disorder. According to Dr. Cleckley, author of The Mask of Sanity, psychopaths are incapable of feeling shame. Because they do not feel shame, they blame everyone else for their problems. “The p …
My sister is a sociopath
This is a true story told to me by one of my University students. Marisol describes life with her sister, a sociopath: My stepfather sexually molested me when I was eight. My sister who was nine, was also molested; I know because I saw him go to her. We never talked about what happened. When she was 20, I asked her and she denied it then admitted it happened to her when I said I saw him. My father was shot and killed when we were very young. He used drugs and had a bad temper, so someone shot him. My sister was always wild when we were growing up. We fought a lot and there wasn't much affection in my family. My sister has been sexually promiscuous since her teen years. I never had any …
Sociopathy and psychopathy: The two most difficult questions to answer.
People frequently ask me questions about human behavior, this is natural because I'm a psychiatrist and people hope I'll have some answers. I've observed a pattern in the questions that people ask me. Often, I will give an answer I am sure is scientifically and clinically correct. At some point later, the person will come back to me and ask the same question again, perhaps phrased a little differently. This process is repeated several times until I am able to figure out why the person does not feel satisfied by my answer. Questions about sociopaths and psychopaths are often very difficult to answer in a way that brings closure to the question. The most frequently- asked questions where …
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Sociopaths as parents (part 3): Hostility spreads!
Scientists now believe that the set of personality traits that cause sociopathy develops in people with genetic risk. But research also shows that genetics alone cannot account for the presence of sociopathy in our society. Sociopathy is caused by an interaction between genes and environment. In my opinion, many kids are twice cursed by genetics. The same genes that put them at risk also give them at least one unfit parent. This unfit parent creates an environment where the genes that produce sociopathy can become manifest. In part 1 of this series, I listed several parenting behaviors that foster the development of sociopathy. This week we will discuss the trait anger and hostility that …
Sociopaths as Parents (Part 2): What the child sees matters!
Recent scientific studies show that genes strongly influence the development of sociopathy (For more on this, see Just Like His Father? — A Guide to Overcoming Your Child's Genetic Connection to Antisocial Behavior, Addiction & ADHD). If we take all the studies together, it looks like genes and childhood environment contribute equally to sociopathy in our society. While we can't yet alter genetics, we can do something about environment. Parents are a large part of a child's early environment, so it makes sense to question whether parenting contributes to antisocial behavior. Parents can transmit antisocial behavior to children any number of ways. The most obvious route of transmission i …
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Sociopaths and Parenting (part 1)
This week I have to retract an earlier statement I made. I said there were no studies on sociopaths and their parenting behavior. Well, many of you will be happy to know that I didn't give up and I have found some, finally. Because many out there need specific references and specific guidance, I am going to give you all the references I have found along with my analysis of the studies. I will also write letters to the authors, and try to form a consensus statement with them that can be used in custody proceedings. According to a recent paper (Jan, 2007) published in Child Development, Cognitive and Parenting Pathways in the Transmission of Antisocial Behavior From Parents to Adolescents, …