How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Bernie Madoff: The accomplishment of an entrepreneur or a psychopath?

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Last night was the final night of a course in social gerontology I taught at the University of Bridgeport. I left the class feeling optimistic about humans. While walking to my car I reflected on an interview of Dr. Charlotte Perry, Medical Anthropologist at UCSF. When asked about the needs of aging African Americans she said, “I did a study in the Southeastern part of the United States of a large group of widows living in subsidized housing. The widows who were "weller" (for lack of a better term) were in fact taking care of those in the housing complex that weren't as well. The housing complex management took no responsibility for making assessments on health status beyond the initial a …

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No parole: Family is a life sentence

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If you live within an hour of San Francisco, I hope you will consider an evening of theater at The Marsh, this holiday season. On most nights, Carlo D'Amore performs No Parole, an autobiographical one-man show that points to the fact that “family is a life sentence.” Carlo has a great deal in common with all of us since he grew up in the shadow of his late mother who was a con artist. Although Carlo left home as soon as he could at age 18, he continued to have contact with his mother. Towards the end of her life, she suffered a right brain stroke and could not live alone. Carlo took her in and cared for her. Even in this state, his mother continued to con and manipulate him. He explained …

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More confusion over antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy and psychopathy

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This semester I taught both Forensic Psychology and Abnormal Psychology at the University of Bridgeport. The students there are an ethnically diverse group and I think are fairly representative of America's young adult population. In both classes we discussed those individuals who have a “a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others.” I wrote antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy and psychopathy on the blackboard before we began our discussion. I then asked the students if they had heard of these terms and if they could tell me the definitions. Only a small percentage had heard the term antisocial personality disorder, nearly everyone had heard the word …

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Lovefraud Extra: Colombian victims of corporate sociopaths riot in the thousands

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Many have conjectured that the recent financial didaster in the US is due to corporate sociopaths. I do not know enough about economics to agree or disagree with that. But consider a society where drug cartels run by sociopaths have a strangle hold over the government. That appears to be the case in Colombia. To watch an amazing video of tens of thousands of people posted by the UK Guardian click on this text. The company, DRFE was apparently a money laundering front for a drug cartel. According to the Associated Press "A total of 600 million pesos ($270 million) is believed to have been lost by the investment company "Dinero Rapido Facil Efectivo," or "Easy Money Fast Cash" in English." …

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Sadism and warped empathy in sociopaths

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Many who have been hurt by sociopaths develop a general distrust of others. This distrust is understandable given how difficult it often is to tell if another person is a sociopath. However, going through life with distrust is not a pleasant way to live. Victims naturally then want to know in detail what sociopaths are about so they can identify the untrustables, and go back to trusting everyone else. One of the purposes of this website is to describe sociopaths and teach people to identify them. Sociopaths are pathological liars who like to talk as experts on many topics. They manipulate others and generally have a high opinion of themselves. They also lack remorse for their actions and …

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When Mom or her partner is a sociopath

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It seems obvious that sociopaths make lousy parents and step parents. But the courts have not always seen it that way. One father trying to protect his daughter from a sociopathic mother was asked by a mental health professional, "So she's a liar does that make her a bad mother?" Furthermore, the texbook I use to teach forensic psychology says that professionals who evaluate parents in custody disputes "should avoid diagnostic labels" and "accentate the postitives." There seems to be a lack of clarity as to what makes an adequate parent, a good parent and a bad parent. The court also does not recognize that the biologic children of sociopaths may have special developmental needs if they …

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Overcoming barriers to moving on with adult development

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A relationship with a sociopath occurs within the context of a person's life. People do not stop growing and developing after adolescence. In fact, adult development is lifelong. Developmental psychologists say that early adulthood is the time that people come to grips with their needs for intimacy, love and friendship. Once this developmental dilemma of “intimacy versus isolation” is addressed, mid life adults move on to the “generativity versus stagnation” phase. Mid life is the time when people build their lives and contribute meaningfully to society. In this phase, adults seek satisfaction through productivity in career, family, and civic interests. Generative adults create a path to …

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Is this person a jerk, a narcissist or a sociopath?

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I do my best to read all of the comments on lovefraud.com because I think they are a good barometer as to what people are thinking and questioning. One recent theme/question has been the issue of the realm of jerkdom. Just what is a jerk? Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines a jerk as an annoyingly stupid or foolish person b: an unlikable person ; especially one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded. But how would a psychologist approach answering this question? Psychologists studying personality tend to fall into two categories, with members of the first category being far more numerous. The first category of psychologists is composed of trait psychologists. A trait psychologist is …

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A springboard to a new life with a new mindset?

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Last Friday Robin Hoffman interviewed me again on her radio show, The Feminine Soul. We discussed recovering from a relationship with a sociopath. She asked two very important questions, “How do we avoid picking another sociopath in the future?” and “How can we ever trust our instincts again?” Coincidentally, yesterday I received this letter from a reader: I got involved recently with a man who seemed to be the opposite of my previous psychopath. All the traits I like, strong, dominant, etc but seemed to have a good heart, and importantly a good history. I checked him out, he had a long service in the police force and a voluntary youth organization, was widely respected and successful. …

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Sociopathic children and psychopathic traits during childhood

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This is a very tragic story left by one of our readers: My daughter was misdiagnosed with ADHD. Then bipolar disorder, then Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I stormed out of her psychologist office when she told me that she saw something “dark” in my child. That was when she was 7. When she was 8, her sociopathy increased and she purposely drowned my poodle. She also tried to smother my baby by my second husband. The strain of her and my carrying the baggage from my last relationship has driven he and I apart and we currently trying to file for divorce. She steals daily, has even stolen as much as $500 from my wallet. I lock things away, and she will simply pry open the lock, break the …

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