How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The crazymaking type of sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from the reader who posts as "SoConfused." This is my story of living with someone that I believe could possibly be a sociopath. I am just not sure and just learning about this, so that is why I am searching for answers. First met years ago I met this guy through a friend that only knew of him as being a local police officer, but we met him out many years ago. The first time I met him we hit it off right away, after leaving the place we were at, he called me and we talked on the phone for hours.  Felt good at the time, I had been single for a few years and raising kids alone so it felt good for someone to pay attention to me. We …

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I was married to a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter and evil person

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Liliana." I married a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter, and evil person who breaks promises, lies directly into one's eyes for years on end, twist the truth, makes up complete falsehoods, accused ME of abuse, filed a report (unsubstantiated) with child services, accused ME of abusing myself(!), and accused me of a myriad of outrageous things, all to conceal what he really is. He nearly destroyed me. I loved him, or who I thought he was, and he left or was rather, court-ordered to get out, and he never looked back, except to try to achieve vengeance against me. He hasn't seen our …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Indian girl gets duped online

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call "Adya." The con that I went through might not be one that would make headline lines with the elaborateness of it. In fact it was kind of petty and cheap. But the emotional damage it has done me has been significant. I am not the trusting carefree person I once was. And like many women and men here I ignored my instincts that's things was Not right. If I had listened to my gut, I would not be where I am emotionally. I was going through a very bad phase. I had just ended what I thought was going to be a wonderful relationship that was going to end up in marriage. We had ended it the worst way possible. I had …

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From date rape to abuse and violence

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Soundra." I met my now ex boyfriend on an online dating site; he contacted me; he was very attractive to me. We texted each other a few times and then he invited me to meet him at his place and then we would go out for a drink. Everything seemed great. He was so nice and gave me compliments and paid for our evening out. We went back to his house to have a nightcap and he got me drunk. He tried to force himself on me. I told him that I was not interested in a one night stand that I wanted a relationship. He continued to try to get in my pants. I tried pushing him away but he overpowered me, pulled down …

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Abusers are hiding behind S&M

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernadette." In early 2012, I met a self-described strong alpha male on a dating site. His background was very impressive a vice president at a large IT firm, author, beautiful home, appeared educated, wonderful sense of humor. He would draw you in, he was what I thought I was looking for, what I thought I needed. Our early phone conversations would last for hours and the text messaging was never ending. He was a protector, he would always be a gentleman, keep me safe, what girl would not want that. I fell for him, it seemed like love. What I thought was the best day of my life, became my hell. My …

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He made it his mission to prove I’m worthless

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Octavia." I believe now that I was married to a sociopath. I was married 16 years and lived with him for 4 years. I became pregnant, had the baby and didn't marry until the baby was 9 months old. I had a sick feeling but went ahead with the marriage. The "put-downs" were subtle in the beginning. I was made to feel like I was a "lesser" person ”¦ the mocking, contempt, control were always there. When I challenged him, he immediately denied his actions ”¦ he was only kidding. I never had any decision making authority ”¦ it was always "pretend" equality/partnership. It took me years to realize his actions …

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How to prepare for your child custody court battle against a sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following advice from a reader. By R. Brooks If you are like myself and have dealt (or are dealing) with a sociopath in court, you are fully aware of how difficult and exhausting it can be. These dealings are increasingly horrible when you are dealing with said person in a child custody hearing. I am here to tell you — YOU CAN BEAT THEM. However, to win takes commitment, consistency and most of all, patience. There is no such thing as instant gratification when you are dealing with this kind of individual, so if that is what you are expecting, it will never happen. I like the old saying, “Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.” W …

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I tried for years to protect our children from their father, and the legal system did little to help

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Rhoda." My ex is an attorney and used his position to financially ruin me by targeting our children. I spent over $250,000 on legal fees, while he was legally allowed to represent himself, and even question me on the witness stand as both my ex and his own attorney. The legal system allowed him to continue to drag me to court for 7 years. I was awarded sole custody twice and he waited for the judge to retire, filed again, and this time was awarded joint custody and I had not done anything different or wrong. Our children have suffered the most. Our now 21-year-old daughter wants nothing to do with …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Successful No Contact against the sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette." My problem is the same as many other whose lives have been sucked into that of a sociopath. I met mine about this time last year. My long-term relationship has broken down and I was feeling unhappy, lonely and vulnerable. He seemed like everything I could ever have wanted charming, funny, affectionate then loving and very sexy. He would send me loads of texts telling me how much he wanted me and then how much he loved me and that we were perfect together and amazing in bed and out. I left my home and got a flat so that I could be with him crazy I know but it seemed so right. My former …

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I thought I was the 3rd wife, but I was more like No. 8

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gale." I was a widow for 5 years. After being married for 43 years, my husband died of cancer. I did not like being alone and therefore I was vulnerable, to say the least. I enjoyed being a wife & mother, and sharing, loving & caring for my family. I met my psycho on the internet, thru a dating web site. Had I trusted my intuition, I would have run. There were many red flags. I did not ignore, but was charmingly convinced I was not being fair, but judgmental. I considered myself to be the 3rd wife, but after several years of marriage, one of his daughters convinced me I was more like number …

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