How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How do you learn to trust again?

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Editor's note: This letter was sent in from Lovefraud reader wandergirl7. While reading through a magazine on "how to write" I came upon a phrase that completely caught my interest. "If it didn't have to be pretty, what would you write?" Life isn't all peaches and cream and your writing shouldn't be either. It is often quoted that what happens in your life, especially the incidents that cause you hurt, loss and pain, are lessons. Do things really happen for a reason? What is the reason and who is arranging the scenes? Yes, you could be in the wrong place at the wrong time or the other way around, the right place. Luck could fall upon you. Disaster strikes! There are no simplified answers. …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Document. Document. Document.

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Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Gianna.” When I left my ex he always promised me he would never let me have the kids. I have custody of our children, but he has not left me alone. Contempt motions Recently, we were back in court for a contempt motion he had filed against me. The magistrate stated I was not in contempt, but proceeded to set a date for a full day hearing anyway. My ex played the missing-the-kids-wanting-more-time-with-them card, so even though I didn't violate anything we are supposed to work out a better visitation schedule for him — one that gives him more time than Local Rules outline. Now, even though I am not …

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Man in Turkey sentenced to rape by fraud

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Editor's note: Here's more news from "Mavi" in Turkey. She has translated a news article for Lovefraud. Some more accurate English translations are suggested in italics. Women rights are miserable in my country. We have the so-called rights, but socially we don't have them. I should probably separate myself from the majority because I live in an intellectual circle, so I don't suffer from social pressure like the others do. Anyway, the rapists, pedophiles, murderers don't get what they deserve legally most of the time. But yesterday I read this news: A psychopath defrauded many women; many of them have been scared and avoided giving testimony but two women did and he has been condemned …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: With this man, I felt physically ‘poisoned’

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Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader named Paula. Dear Donna, I read your story and the one about Lance Larabee. The man I was friends with was also a pilot, so that one caught my eye. I must say that I felt physically "sick" hearing all of the just disgusting ways in which Lance violated boundaries with his poor girlfriend despite her very obviously courageous attempts to "protect" herself with all those promissory notes. By the end of the story, it was predictable that expecting him to write his life insurance policy over to her in order to pay her back would never happen. I could almost see him laughing at that, which made me literally feel …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I loved him and supported him … all while he was lying, cheating and using me

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Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Nicolette.” Names have been changed. I met “Jackson” online. I wasn't looking for a relationship exactly, just checking to see what was out there. He was the very first person to message me and he was exactly my type. We became Facebook friends and chatted for a couple days he seemed to have all the same interests — art, music, travel, etc. He seemed to have lived an interesting life as a touring musician in some well known bands. Now, he had just moved back to Florida, bought a house, and was building a recording studio in his home. That was his big new venture and he was confident with his connecti …

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I believe emotional rape is a crime

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud.  By Joyce M. Short "No Contact" Is the First Step, But Not the Last! The concept of NO CONTACT enables us to distance ourselves from harm, and regain emotional balance. But it's not all we need to do. We need to come to grips with the real injury that we've endured in order to cope with our losses. Partially in an effort to cope with mine, I wrote my book, Carnal Abuse by …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have NO family now, my sister has turned them all against me

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Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call  "Arabella." Names have been changed. I've been searching and searching for someone who understands. However, for me it's not a lover ”¦ but my older sister, who has taken great pleasure in trying to destroy me. Strangely though, I'm wondering if my mother is also touched with psychopathy. Her emotional reactions to things are very questionable. When she's been with me and my sister, mum has never raised an eyebrow at some of the REALLY awful provocations. My older brother has treated me like dirt on so many occasions.  Mum sides with him no matter what he does. Mum also made a mistake of telling me …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopaths

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Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader. Many years ago my wealthy (and elderly) widower father entered into a relationship with a sociopathic woman. She is very charming and beautiful. This was marriage number four for her. Her last marriage had been completely predatory. My father's health is good, his mind is sharp but his memory is failing. The more his memory fails, the more his wife isolates him. She does this in brazen and cruel ways too numerous to write about here in this short note. She also encouraged him to drink alcohol and take potent sleeping pills. He was hospitalized several times for overdose. My father has a substantial estate and it …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me back

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Editor's note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Renata." I know, as far as abuse stories go, this isn't a doozy. I'm sure other women and men have gone through far worse. And that is precisely why I want to share my story, because, even though this guy isn't a major abuser, he's a manipulative, conniving and voracious predator. He will believe he is using his charm and "kindness" to befriend women who are vulnerable and heartbroken, giving them something to feel good about, over and over. He will lead them down the rosy garden path, all the while knowing that he has NO intention of reciprocating a safe and loving relationship. He only uses his "victims" for …

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Could oxytocin – the brain’s love chemical – be the real ‘love potion #9’?

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. By Joyce M. Short Does Love Potion #9 Really Exist? The hit record written by Leiber & Stoller back in 1959, Love Potion #9, was originally recorded by The Clovers and published by the Aberbach brothers who owned Hill & Range Songs Inc …

Could oxytocin – the brain’s love chemical – be the real ‘love potion #9’?Read More