How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Lessons in Life and Love I Learned from a Sociopath

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By Paula Carrasquillo Editor's note: Paula Carrasquillo is author of "Escaping the Boy My Life with a Sociopath." Read Lovefraud's book review. A few years ago, I found myself in a relationship with a man who demonstrated zero empathy, zero remorse, zero compassion and seemed to lack any inkling of a conscience. He lashed out at me often, raged and accused me of doing things I never did and of being a person I could never imagine being. I tried desperately to make him "see the light" of his negative thinking and paranoia. But all of my pleadings and attempts to convince him that he was wrong about my intentions proved futile. The emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse he …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I no longer attract needy, disordered men

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Editor's note: This is the story of a long-time member of the Lovefraud community, Stargazer. Spath-proofing my life I have been a poster on Lovefraud for over five years. It just occurred to me I've never written an article. I wanted to tell my story and write about what I have done to spath-proof my life in the last five years. It was never my intention to spath-proof my life. I only wanted to be happy. In taking the steps to make myself happy, I have successfully created a life where disordered people don't dare to enter. If they do, they don't stay very long. Why? I'm too happy for them. I don't buy into their sob stories; I have no need to fix them; and I have no need for their …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, life gets good again

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a reader whom we'll call "Cherylann." I am really not sure where to start. My family and those closest to me refer to him as ”˜madman,' ”˜the beast'”¦ or as my brother put it, I married a cardboard box. I never realized he had no feelings for me or anyone but himself until maybe 2 years into our divorce proceedings. I am not known for my writing abilities and this is difficult to do; not because of the subject matter but because there is just so much that I could share about those 11 years that I was with him. I am not sure how to put it in the most ”˜readable' manner. Anyway, here goes. Not love at first sight Let me just sta …

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I identified with Woody Allen’s ‘Blue Jasmine’

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Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Imara." Woody Allen's new movie Blue Jasmine, starring Cate Blanchet, showcases an amazing, Oscar worthy performance by her. She portrays a woman who had it all and then lost everything, including her sanity, after she catches her psychopathic husband cheating. I loved the movie ”¦ identified with Jasmine on so many emotive experiences ”¦ and am very grateful to the powers that be that, in the aftermath, I do not walk in her shoes!!!! The movie portrays the plush life of Jasmine and her very successful businessman husband. He is lavish in his gift giving, and in his lifestyle. His cheating is clearl …

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How our brain keeps us in toxic relationships

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a soon to be released book, “Carnal Abusive Deceit When a Predator's Lies Become Rape.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. The Betrayal Bond — an oxytocin craving By Joyce M. Short We often see stories in the news about people who meet tragic ends by remaining in a relationship with someone whose behavior should have si …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Now I can see how manipulative he was

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we'll call "Clarissa." She dated a man whom we'll call "Bradford." Clarissa is sharing a letter he sent her, which is posted with all its original misspellings. I met Bradford nearly three years ago. I had never heard of a sociopath and I fell for his charm and good looks. He seemed to be the man of my dreams. One year after our relationship ended and now knowing I loved a sociopath, I am starting to put my life back on track, I am paying back the debt he left me in and even looking to meet someone new. I will not let him ruin anymore of my life. I am lucky to have got away from him, but I wanted to share a …

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BOOK REVIEW: My Friend Dahmer

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Editor's Note: The following review was written by "Sellenna," a Lovefraud reader. To see a picture of Jeffrey Dahmer, check out the CNN slideshow in the recent Lovefraud article, "The Boston Strangler and other famous serial killers." If you like books about psychopaths and true crime, I highly recommend a graphic novel called "My Friend Dahmer," written and illustrated by comic book artist and journalist Derf Backderf, a former high-school classmate and acquaintance of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. It's a comic book, but it deals with very adult themes; some that are quite unsuitable for children. In this book, Backderf describes what Dahmer was like as a teenager before he committed …

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Finding a way out of the darkness through EMDR therapy

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Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Laura19." My Experience with PTSD Excruciating emotional pain. Numbness. Loss of appetite. Sleepless nights. Obsessive thoughts. Inability to concentrate. Loss of pleasure in cherished activities. Lack of energy. Anxiety and panic attacks. All of the above will probably sound familiar to those of us who have been devalued and discarded by psychopaths. When I discovered that the “relationship” I had with the psychopath was not real, that I had been deceived, betrayed, and used, I felt as if my entire world was turned upside down. I did not want to eat, I developed insomnia, and I was consumed by thoughts of …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Read Part 1. The final evening It is so scary to even think back to the evening that led to my leaving Brandon and never looking back. The very last time I saw him I found tons of drugs in his apartment. It was a Friday evening in the middle of the summer. I went to my parents that We …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Part 2 will post tomorrow. Letter from the mistress I met Brandon during the summer, immediately following my college graduation. Brandon approached me at a nightclub at a beach resort area near where I live over Memorial Day weekend. I was at a low point in my life; I was de …

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