Lovefraud Reader, Author at Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again

October 12, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 68 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernice." I had been out of an 18-year marriage for a year when I met my lovefraud. My husband was a selfish man who enjoyed his pornography. At the beginning I tried to be the good wife, experience things with him. The pornography I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I explained to him that for me it was a major turn off, almost sickening some of it. All that accomplished was him watching alone. When the children came along we only grew further apart. Over the rest of the marriage he became more and more independent from the children and I, often treating us like we were an inconvenience. He would …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A hard fought battle, but no regrets

October 5, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 20 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the reader who posts as "RobertInSeattle." I've been running into sociopaths all my life often when I least expected it. And believe me when I tell you the more I learn, the less I know! As I've been delving into all of this more deeply than I ever have in the past (all because of my breakup earlier this year with my most recent sociopath encounter), it's finally gotten me to looking much farther back into my own long history with them. There was so little discussion and certainly few if any online support groups in years past that actually addressed sociopathy when I went through my first divorce which started back in 1989. Many …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: Snagged by a sociopath on Facebook and Twitter

October 4, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 44 Comments

Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Alexa." I'd like to tell you a brief story of something that lasted nearly 3 years ALL ON SOCIAL MEDIA and the telephone. I am a 27-year-old Law Student with a Master's Degree in Sociology and Criminology of all things and this happened to me. A raging feminist who rarely dated somehow fell helpless prey to a sociopath. This was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life and now I can see him doing it to someone else. I went to law enforcement with no avail because of the Internet and my lack of real knowledge of who he is. It began with love bombing he friended me on Facebook and liked almost …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: His most lethal weapon was disarming ‘innocence’

September 27, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 61 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Beatrice." The name of the perpetrator has been changed. Its now four months since I've found out the cold, hard truth about my ex, and I really want to move on, but would also find it cathartic to share my horrific experience with as many people as possible also if I can help one other person to avoid the pain and trauma of the past two years I will not have wasted my time. Please feel free to share this with as many people as possible, the more people know about these dangerous predators, the less their power to destroy others lives will be. Four months ago on 15 May 2012 I had a phone call which …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: Too good to be true

September 21, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 27 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Bridgette." This is the first time that I have publicly talked about my experience with a sociopath. It happened when I was 19 years old, and I'm 34 now. Ever since this so-called engagement happened, I've never had a "normal," relationship with a man. I won't say that this man ruined me, but he took something from me that I can never get back. I go back to 1997 and I remember starting up a relationship with a guy who I met in a chatroom, just by chance. We started IM'ing each other, and as time went by, I started calling Maryland and he was calling California. I fell in love with him immediately. He …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Having a child with a sociopath, I am no longer a mother

September 14, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 45 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who we'll call "WalkonMom." I used to think that "six" was my lucky number. And sometimes, I used to remind myself to show gratitude for six little things, like, the sound of New England leaves as they rustle underfoot, the first snowfall with really huge flakes, each breath flowing in and out, especially when you recognize that you are free for the first time, the scent of your baby's head as you cradle and rock her in your grandmother's rocking chair, the preciousness of each holiday, along with the sacred spirit of wonder that fills you as you see your child grow from year to year. Falling in love, and realizing …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Just a gigolo

September 13, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 17 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Esther." I have experienced so many disturbing relationships since I left my psychopath former husband. I thought relationships could not be any more dysfunctional than my marriage. What I am now discovering is that I am a magnet to these predators. This site and many others have helped me to understand how I doubt my fear response, second guess my feelings and am actually delusional when I project onto others the psychological work that I have done to clear my ego defensiveness, blame, shame and guilt. I want to believe that others will work with me, be kind and Christian. I have found this to be a …

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Sometimes, harassment by the sociopath just isn’t important

September 4, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 5 Comments

By Olga Rodriguez Every time I post on LF; I predictably get a text from the sociopath saying something negative; sure enough after the last posting (Now I can honestly say to a victim, 'I understand how you feel') I got one. I recall having a conversation with the sociopath back when we were still together. I was expressing my love of writing. I said I'd love to write a book sometime. His response was, “Me too.” I asked why and he said, “Just so I can say I wrote a book.” Bragging rights, I guess! I asked, “Would you care if it sold or not? “ He said, “No!” I explained that my reward would be having someone, even if it was just one person, say, “That book changed my life.” Or I'd like …

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What did the sociopath give me and why is it so hard to let it go?

August 30, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 217 Comments

Editor's Note: The following was posted as a comment by the Lovefraud reader, NewLife43. I thought everyone should see it. I had a small epiphany today while driving back from the grocery store. What, exactly, did the spath give me that I find so difficult to let go? I have been married twice before and when those marriages were over, I was sad and wished that they hadn't ended the way that they had. But neither one of them was like this 8 year relationship! I was still the same person, what was so different this time? Why couldn't I release it and move on with my life? Neither one of my ex-husbands were like the spath. In fact, NO ONE had ever made me feel like he did. And by that I …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My personal encounter with sociopaths within the system

August 21, 2012 // by Lovefraud Reader// 11 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Robert in Seattle." It happened to me over a period of several years while my first wife and I were divorcing and fighting over custody of our two kids. She managed to game her lawyer, the child advocates office, the judge and most other people along the way. The only thing she couldn't game was the MMPI test that my psychologist conducted under court order (at my request and that I had to pay for on my own). While short of actually just coming right out and declaring it, the psychologist conducting our tests identified her scores as strong traits of borderline personality disorder …

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eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Happy Sunday Donna, and I am not surprised based on the story of your ex that he may have been…”
Donna Andersen on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Hi Joanie — thanks for this article! My ex was a complete pack rat. I converted my basement into an…”
Donna Andersen on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “Emilie 18 posted the following comment in the Forum. Eleanor Cowen posted a beautifully said piece in the Blog about…”