Editor's note: The following email was sent by a Lovefraud reader, “Pamela.” She was married to a sociopath and subject to domestic violence. She previously submitted a piece called All Alone. Raped-unzel let her hair down and a batterer climbed up. Mr. No-Longer-Charming had seduced her with lying words and false promises, and now she lay married to a man that called her a whore. Oh—and said he loved her, too, usually soon after he called her a whore. Raped-unzel said to Mr. No-Longer-Charming: "Don't confuse me with comatose Sleeping Beauty over there, in that fairy tale. I can see through your lies, straight down to your true colors." So, she is in The Flip Side of the Fairy …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Pornography Effect 101
By Marilisa Walker Following a heart wrenching break up of our nearly 11-year marriage, and after he ran our Chamber of Commerce award-winning businesses into the ground, stole all my money and drove off in our only car on a sizzling hot summer afternoon in August while I was taking a nap, I experienced "an overwhelming and overpowering feeling of not being able to make sense of it"—which is what I logged in my journal four months later. Throwing myself on the kitchen floor and sobbing uncontrollably, while these antics provided some emotional relief but horrified my dog—yet was I still left with an irreconcilable quandary. If I could only make sense of what happened between my hus …
RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Judges are practicing mental health without a license
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Judge William Adams shown beating his daughter with a belt on YouTube By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide As I saw the following video and commentary on CNN last night, I could not sleep. It appears that the sheriff in the town of Rockport, Texas has received countless calls of concern about Judge William Adams, who was shown beating his daughter with a belt on YouTube. Judge Adams …
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Online Dating Scams: Don’t Get Caught
By Brittany Lyons For many busy people, online dating has become a normal or even preferred method for meeting potential love matches, and it's easy to see why it's so popular. Singles are often bombarded with stories of success featuring married couples who met online, and continue to live happily ever after, so they don't see the possible harm. However, because of the anonymity offered by the Internet, it's easy for predators and scammers alike to misrepresent themselves. Both are impossible to identify 100% of the time, which is why it's best to avoid online dating. But if you do choose to try it out, there are a few things you can do to protect yourself from scammers. If you aren't …
Woman gets caught in dating scam
If you think real people don't get caught in dating scams, think again. Lovefraud heard from a woman who thought she met the soldier pictured above online. Actually, she met a group of scammers from Ghana. Here's what she wrote: According to a USAA Fraud Investigator 15 women scattered across the US (I was one of them) were recently scammed by a group from Ghana. I am not trying to get my money back, etc. In fact, I am being forced to file for bankruptcy. What I am trying to do is help the Active Duty Army Master Sergeant who is in ALL the pictures these scammers still use! I saw a recent one posted under two i had added to one scam website. In fact, it could have been his recent re …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Winning a court battle with a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Juliet.” Juliet negotiated a settlement with her ex, the father of her daughter. Names and locations have been changed. In the final papers, I am moving to Delaware and he gets supervised visits in Delaware (until age eight) for much longer than I would have if I were forced to fight in court and let the judge decide. Plus I am not paying for him to visit in Delaware. He agreed to pay child support of $450 once he gets a job. My daughter won't leave Delaware with him until age 10, and she won't fly alone to California until age 12. And she only can leave for California over spring break and summer vacat …
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RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Dealing with betrayal bonds
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Surviving betrayal and trauma By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I recently attended a workshop by Dr. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., author of The Betrayal Bond. I was shocked by the denial of the psychological community regarding the trauma experienced by survivors of emotional and sexual trauma. I took my worn and used copy of The Betrayal Bond to Dr. Carnes for his signature. He signed …
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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I have found a new pride and fearlessness
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a young woman whom we'll call “Adriana.” The name in the story below has been changed. This is a story about two girls who were on the same sports team in high school. Both showed lots of potential and both won lots of achievement awards ”¦ Both went on to do athletics in college. One was a sociopath ”¦ the other was shy and introverted. I was the introvert. Other people saw my success, but I just enjoyed athletics and was not seriously competitive... I was excellent because I enjoyed it. As strange as that sounds. I moved a lot as a kid... This last high school was the one I went to the longest: three years. Little did I know, …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Who We Used to Be
Editor's note: The following letter was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Panther.” This little bundle of words comes from a new survivor. I write this hoping that I can find these thoughts to be consolation for myself, as well as to share them with others for the same reason. Through reading various Lovefraud articles, I've realized that the veterans have so much invaluable advice to offer. However, at times I wonder how the voice of a survivor sounded right after the break. The reason this matters to me is because the veterans seem so much stronger than I feel right now. I cannot help but wonder, as I read through their wise words, if they have something I don't have, which e …
Letters to Lovefraud: Attempting to understand what happened
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as Whirlwind71. I have just finished reading Love Fraud just mere moments ago, and up until now, I really hadn't been interested in books at all. Previous to this, I read Mary Jo Buttafuoco, Getting It Through My Thick Skull as well as Snakes in Suits and Pathology of a Psychopath (a hard read) ”¦ all in an attempt to understand what the heck happened to me and my family when a guy (whom I described as the most amazing man I have ever met) came into my life ”¦ I now realize that the word "amazing" has many different levels! Once married to my kids' father, I was now a divorced ”¦ or shall I say a HAPPILY divor …
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